Forget the Four Ls, Breathing is Enough to Do

School: Educational. I guess.
Writing: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh, wait. Were you serious?
Play ("Mulan"): Completely amazing, and I got a "Go get 'em" from someone, but it's totally dominating my entire life right now. One of my friends there told me a secret. Everywhere I go, like two weeks later, someone confides in me about something. My whole aura must scream TRUTHWORTHY AND WILL GIVE ADVICE!!!!!!
Family: I'm getting along with them...something weird is going on...*gasp* Am I GROWING UP?? :O

Physical: So physically exhausted that I'm getting sick -.- *grumbles irritably*
Emotional: ...that is not for public blog-ness.
Mental: Crazy as usual, but in the controlled, tired as crap way.
Spiritual: Working on my God relationship. Goin' pretty well!! Life is good!

Story of my life right now: By Your Side

WARNING: Political Post (Please Don't Hate My Dark Side >:D)

FIRST: Lostie's Art is now following Carpe Diem!! Awesome! Thanks, Lostie!
-----------------------
Character Day! I'm doing one of my own today.

As I was reading through some older (from summer '08) story bits of mine, I came across something that astounded me. (Just in case I ever finish this, no taking the horrible idea XD) I had started a story titled "The New America". One of the most important characters is one that you never meet or see, but just gets talked about. I called him Alexander Williams.

Let me quote from my story idea folder:

"Alexander began to see that things were going badly in America. People were losing jobs, inflation was up, global warming was taking over (bite me), people were looking for somewhere to turn. Alexander stood up and said, "Hey, follow me. Listen to me. I can help you. I can make everything all better. I'll give you jobs, homes, stability, someone to count on and look up to."

"With the help of a couple of friends, Alexander led the American people slowly to change their thinking. Alexander rose to power, eventually becoming the leader of America. Most people loved him, and anyone who didn't was labled "old-fashioned" or "against change". Alexander promised change, good change, and people believed him.

"After a little while in power, he began to lead the American people to change their faulty ways. He made new laws that, although they were completely against the Constitution, gave Americans less responsibility, and allowed them to lean more on the government, giving them peace and stability. Alexander made laws and regulations that covered so many aspects of life, that things were just plain easy for the people! No one had to take responsibility for anything anymore! It was a dream life.

"Even when Alexander's laws began to restrict things like what you could say, whom you could talk to, and how you could treat sick people, everyone loved him because he would make life better for them.

"Eventually, Alexander had laws governing almost every aspect of life. He had been ruling longer than most other leaders, but no one seemed to mind. Children were taught that Alexander had saved America, and everyone must love him. Alexander had complete power over the people, and no one seemed to care."

There's Alexander for you, just as his character sketch from my notes from summer/fall 2008 depict. Funny isn't it? How personal freedoms and the republic died at the hands of the most popular man in America? Isn't that funny?

Yea, I'm not laughing either.
------------------------
I know this is not my political blog, and I normally don't like posting this kind of stuff here, but it's been preying on my mind all day, I wanted to say that.

I don't understand. I really don't. I don't understand how someone could swear an oath to uphold the Constitution, and then say in an autobiography that he thinks the founding fathers have no place in today's society, and the Constitution is a joke. Why would you swear an oath like that if you believed so the opposite? And why haven't people seen that?

How can you try to pass a health reform bill that restricts freedoms and is completely unconstitutional?

How can you promise to give better health coverage, to more people, and swear that it will cost LESS?

How can you peddle all these paternalistic ways of thinking and call this America? A Constitutional Republic? America is not about the leaders patting people on the back and saying, "There, there, I'll take care of you. You don't worry about a thing, I've got it covered." Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

America is about teaching a man to fish, not giving him the fish on a silver platter and then telling him how to eat it.

Big government is what we ran from in England. Small government, power to the people, "give me liberty or give me death", stop taxation without reprsentation. Has America really forgotten all of this? Has America forgotten that people, good people, fought bravely and DIED so that we would never have to live with the kind of government our president is promoting? Have we forgotten, America?

The American people are one of three things at this point:

1. Against the direction our government is heading
2. Ignorant of the direction our government is heading
3. In support of the direction our government is heading

You can't really believe that this is heading a good direction. If you think it is, or you think it's at least not heading in a BAD direction, then you are fooling yourself. I'm sorry, but these kind of laws and ways of thinking lead to only one thing (socialism), and that is NOT what America is all about.

Do you support where this is going? If so, fine. Support it. If you are ignorant of it, please, open your eyes.

I am a strong believer in people chosing their own beliefs, thoughts, principles, ideas. Don't let yourself be indoctinated. Think. Look at history. This story we're living has been told hundreds of times in many different eras and civilizations. Time and time again governments do this. This leads to one thing, and one thing only: socialism, loss of freedoms, and destruction.

I understand that this was a very passionate and political post. I'm still debating on whether or not I will hit "publish" or transfer this post to Carpe Noctem.

Hmm. I have nothing left to say except, "Think." Think, America. What do you want?

Mary and Martha: God's Custom-Made Love

So, today was definitely a cool day.

1. Cavender came to my church.
2. The sermon really spoke to me.
3. I had the first play practice.

I'll talk about the second cool thing last; it'll be my thing for God Day.

So, Cavender came to my church today! That was cool. He said he really liked the music, which is my favorite, too. I think our church really does have awesome music, and the band members are all really into.

Play practice went well, I think. We just did a read-through of the script and listened to the songs on a CD. Mushu (the little dragon) is played by a girl who definitely does it justice. The girl who plays Mulan is awesome. The guy who plays Captain Shang (Shang + Mulan = falling in love, duh ;D) is pretty good. He can sing pretty well. If he can just hide that southern drawl a little...Lol! No, really, he did fine. Mulan's father is...not good, and neither is the Emperor. I think the guys were just nervous, though. And it was the very first read through.

I'm, just in case you didn't know this, doing the voice for a big Hun puppet -.- Lols, I'm okay with it now, though. I'm also in the Ensamble (yay for singing and dancing with everyone else), and a hairdresser. I forgot to mention that last night. The hairdresser is going to be my favorite, probably. It's a tiny part with no real lines, but in a song, a have a quick singing-line all my myself, and then some with the other hairdressers and stuff. I picked out a couple of harmony parts, so I'm looking forward to being able to do them. I really hope I get a harmony part and not just the melody...
----------------------------
God Day!

So, the sermon today was about Lazarus. Let me just do a quick run-through of this story. It helps me to do that. So, Jesus and his diciples are just kind of hanging around, and a messenger comes and says to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."

The messenger is talking about Lazarus. Lazarus and his sisters Martha and Mary are good friends of Jesus', so they figured Jesus would want to know that Lazarus was sick. Really sick. Like, about-to-die sick.

Instead of going right to Lazarus' house, Jesus is just kind of like, "Oh, yeah, okay" and he hangs out in the little town where he is for a few more days.

Finally, he says to his diciples, "Okay, let's go see Lazarus. He's fallen asleep, and we'll just go wake him up."

The diciples are like, "Uh, but isn't sleep probably the best thing for him?"

Jesus: "I mean he's dead."

They go to see Lazarus, and when they're close to his house, Lazarus' sister Martha comes out and says to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn't have died. But I know that even now, God will give you whatever you want."

She's pretty much saying, "I know you're the Messiah, so why didn't you DO SOMETHING?"

She's kind of mad. She's like, if you're so amazing and powerful, why didn't you stop this from happening? Why didn't you FIX IT?

*cough* That might sound just a little familiar...maybe...

May 24th: "Then four years later, God takes him away. Uh, ouch. Thanks a lot, God."

July 17th: "WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD BROTHERS? IS ONE BROTHER TOO MUCH TO ASK? ONE? ONE??"

August 2nd: "Why had God taken Him away from me? Why on Earth would a good God do that? It's like someone punching you in the face."

March 23rd: "God created the Heavens and the Earth, surely he could give me my older brother!!"

...

Hmm.

A little later, the other sister, Mary falls at the feet of Jesus and says, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn't have died."

The way she says it is more like, "How could you be so unkind to your friends?"

Don't you love me, God? Why would you let this happen? Don't you care?

Of course, Jesus ends up raising Lazarus from the dead, but only after he meets both sisters where they are. With Martha, he takes the logical route.

Martha's argument is a simple Modus Ponens:

If you are the Messiah, then you could have saved my brother.
You are the Messiah.
Therefore, you could have saved my brother. (And yet you didn't.)

Jesus talks to Martha about how her brother will rise again. Martha is kind of like, "Yeah, thanks, I know he'll rise again at the ressurection and all."

Jesus says, "I am the ressurection!"

He's like, Martha, listen to me! I AM the ressurection! It's me, it's here! Your brother will rise again.

Mary comes to Jesus not from the logical and theological angle, but from the emotional, friend-to-friend angle. Jesus cries with her. He's really sad! Lazarus was his friend! He's upset. He cries with Mary.

Jesus meets us right where we are. Right where we need to be met. Whether it's logical or emotional, or somewhere in between.

As my pastor said in the sermon this morning (ALL of this is borrowed STRAIGHT from him, by the way), "God's love is not one size fits all, or most. God custom fits his love for us."

That was a great sermon anyway, but add on my whole issue with God not giving me a brother, then giving me one and taking him a way, and the sermon is flat out AMAZING.

It COULD NOT have been more spot on. I come to God from Martha's angle, as demonstrated in my post excerpts. God, you created the Heavens and the Earth. And you didn't give me a brother?? If you're so great, fix this injustice!

I also come to God from Mary's angle a little. God, if you love me, why would you do something so unkind? Why dangle my life's desire in front of my face, and snatch it back? Don't you care for me?

I know this has been a very long post, and sort of jumbled and probably at parts unclear, but I just needed to get in writing how much this morning's sermon hit me. Everything was exactly fit to ME! This story is, literally, ANCIENT, and I've heard it, probably also literally, A HUNDRED TIMES, and it's never been so clear to me.

Every detail fits me. It's even about losing a brother and being mad at God because he could have prevented it and didn't.

It takes my breath away, y'all.

I could elaborate more, but I know you must be tired of the ranting, so I'll stop. I just want you to know that I KNOW that God is watching out for us. He knows what he's doing. And every once in a while, he might throw an tired ol' Bible story at you and revel a whole new meaning.

Thanks, God.