Perfection vs. Perseverance

I have a confession to make:

I am a perfectionist.

What? You already knew that? It's painfully obvious? Oh. Okay. That's cool, too XD

Being a perfectionist has its pros and cons. Unfortunately, it has mostly cons. As humans, we're always going to fall short of perfection, and beating ourselves up about it isn't a good way to live.

Sure, when you're a perfectionist you are always (well, mostly XD) striving to be perfect and do your best. That's a good, right? Doing your best? Absolutely! God calls us to do our best. He wants us to use our minds and bodies and talents to the best of our ability to serve Him. If we don't use our gifts, we're like the servant in the parable who buries the money he's entrusted with. That's really poor stewardship of what God has given us. So, doing your best is good.

But then there comes a point where it's just too extreme. And that's where I am most of the time. Lots of times, I get to the point where my line of thinking is "If I can't be perfect, I won't do it at all."

You can imagine how many things I've passed up, decided not to go for, chickened out of, and otherwise refused to try, all because I was afraid of failing. That's when perfectionism goes too far: when it stops us from trying things altogether, simply because we might not excel right at first.

Like all opposites, "perfection" and "failure" go hand in hand. You can't really know one until you've experienced the other.

Making mistakes is going to happen. Failure is going to happen. Failure twice at same thing will probably happen. The real honor is not in never failing, but in trying until you do get it right. That's not perfectionism, that's perseverance, and that's really twice as good!

Next time you're hesitating to try something, remind yourself that it's okay to fail. Perfectionism is for the temporarily lucky, perseverance is for the strong at heart.

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never tasted victory or defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Epic Post From Your Own Personal Epic Now-Sixteen-Year-Old Blogger :D

Table of Contents:
1. I am back.
2. Our power went out.
3. MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
4. Thanks, God!
5. Thanks, friends!
6. Thanks, Y'ALL for being awesome about my hair!

I'm baaaaaaaaack! :)

Our power went out Friday at 4 o'clock. I was like :O

*clears her throat and revisits the land of good word choices and articulation*

Sorry. I had a replace-descriptive-words-with-smilies moment. Won't happen again.

I have so much to say! I don't even know where to begin. First, I'd like to say that I am now officially sixteen years old.

Sweet. Six. Teen.

*smiles hugely*

Instead of starting at the beginning of this weekend, I think I'll skip the parts where I couldn't take a shower and had to read by faux candle light (batteries FTW) and get straight to Sunday, February 7th. My birthday. My sixteenth birthday.

(Notice I'm saying that a lot. It's in an effort to brainwash myself into realizing the truth, that I am OLD :P)

I woke up at 7:10 because I was tired of trying to pretend I was asleep. You know how that is when you're really excited/nervous and you keep closing your eyes, hoping you'll just lose consciousness again? Well, I feel like I did that all night, at least when I wasn't violently dreaming.

For those of you who may not know, I get nervous about my birthdays. Very nervous. Birthdays only come ONE DAY A YEAR, and it's the one day that everyone is nice to you, and you get to do what you want. So you better enjoy it.

D: Pressure!

I always feel like I MUST ENJOY THE DAY and, being how I am, that usually ruins it for me. I'm getting better though. This year and last year I've gotten a hold of myself and actually had great birthdays (even though last year I had driver's ed on my birthday D:).

So anyway, after I drug myself out of bed, I went upstairs and ate half a bagel, after my family sang Happy Birthday do me :) Then I opened my presents:

Lizzy - season one of Monster Quest XD (How great is that?)
Momma and Daddy - this necklace that goes with a dress I have, a shirt, and twilight woods body cream from Bath & Boyd Works.
Gr'anne - gift card to Barnes & Noble.
(then later)
Cavender - "Witch and Wizard" book.

EDIT: OMG MOMMA AND DADDY JUST CAME DOWNSTAIRS WITH A PRESENT THAT JUST GOT HERE! I LOVE IT! You might think I'm crazy. I might be. But I'm still happy to have this:

The New Testament. IN. LATIN.
END EDIT.

I was happy, but I also wished the power would come back on D: In all my life imagining my Sweet 16, I never envisioned it happening in the dark not able to flush a toilet XD

But anyway.

We normally get to church at 8:30 so the band can practice before church. However, since the building had no power, there would BE no band, and it would be really cold. So we decided not to head over until 9:45.

We got there like six seconds before Cavender. Possibly seven.

Church was good. Small (but still 45 people!), short, and quite cold. We ended with an a cappella Amazing Grace, which I was like -__- about. I don't like that song, and I REALLY hate singing a cappella. No music to cover my voice, so I end up singing really softly and sometimes not at all. *shrug* Oh well :D

After church, Daniel, David and Cavender all came back to our house and we ate hot dogs and white cheddar Cheez-its, which I love :D

After that, we went downstairs and played Balderdash. Have any of you heard of that game? Basically, someone draws a card with a strange word on it, and everyone has to make up their own definition for the word. The person holding the card writes down the real definition. Then, card-holder reads the real definition along with the fake submitted ones, and everyone has to vote for the definition they think is real. You get points for guessing correctly, points for fooling others, and if you're the card-holder and no one guesses the real definition, you get a point for that, too.

Personally, I think I should get points for being able to distinguish handwriting pretty well from the beginning without having to ask. Don't you agree? Three teenaged boys with similar handwriting...I rock. (Just kidding XD)

(On a side note, why do guys write so lightly? Or is it just Cavender and David and Daniel that do that?)

Anyway, back to the game of Balderdash that you guys don't care about but that I'm telling about anyway ;P

It was really fun. Most of the fun was in inside jokes ("A piece of land shaped like a tongue." "NO WAY. *glares* CAVENDER.") and just things that happened, so I won't go into them here. For the record, I will say that Cavender is very good at Balderdash.

'KAYFINEISAIDIT. He won XD

After Balderdash we picked up all the tons of trash paper it had created (we = *cough* me and Daniel *cough*).

Then we played Life. That was fun too XD I was a doctor, which translates to BIGMONEY in that game. Unfortunately, I still didn't win -_- I rolled mostly numbers 2-5 and lagged behind considerably. I refused to buy car insurance (I never do, I'm usually really lucky), and ended up having everything that could go wrong with a poor car XD I also didn't have a single kid D:

LOL, maybe it sounds like I had a bad day, but I didn't. It was so much fun. So much fun.

Even though Cavender won Life too -_- :P XD

THEN, David and Daniel had to go home, and my family and Cavender headed over to another friend's house to watch the Super Bowl since we still didn't have power. That was really fun :) I love my friends.

After we ate dinner and halfway watched "Failure to Launch" (how did I miss the dearly departed fiance and her kid??), my mom called us for birthday cookie!! I don't like cake all that much (I mean, I like it, but I like cookies better), so my mom made a giant, homemade chocolate chip cookie! I told my dad I didn't want them to sing to me again. I hate that awkward moment when everyone is singing and you're just like, "Heh...*looks around awkwardly*...thanks..." So, my dad got everyone not to sing.

They hummed it instead -_-

Then they whistled it.

And then my dad--heh, never mind.

Anyway, after (well, really while) we ate our big cookie slices, we tried to decide on a movie to watch on Netflix. We finally chose one, but before we got very far into it, it was halftime and we had to take Cavender home :(

My friend also has a cat, and I'm allergic to cats, so I had taken some Benadryl to help with the sneezing/itchy throat/watery eyes/cruddy feeling. I stopped sneezing, but Benadryl makes me...well...

Some people get drowsy on Benadryl. I get, like, high XD

Well, I mean, drowsy, but so intensely so that I'm completely loopy and out of it and nothing hits my brain, and I say...everything >.<

Luckily we dropped Cavender off before it really, uberly kicked in XD

On the way home, Mrs. Martha (Matt and Katie's mom) called my poor, dying phone (and no power to charge it!). She and everyone who was with them sang "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to me :) :) :) :) That was really awesome.

And then it got better.

"Happy birthday," said Katie when they were done singing. "And you have power."

:O

:D

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an amazing end to an amazing day!

My Sweet 16 was NOT how I planned it, not how I'd always envisioned it, and WAY out of my control and comfort zone, but guess what? It was wonderful :) Just another time when God has shown me that HEY, going with the flow and having fun really WILL make for a great experience.

So, thanks, God. You've been by my side for sixteen years helping me out, and having the power go out didn't change that one bit :)

Thanks also to any of my awesome friends that are reading this. Whether I hung out with you, or you said Happy Birthday to my Facebook, thanks :D

AAAAAAAND thanks to everyone who was so supportive about my hair the other day :) After I washed it and straightened it myself, I think it looks better, less ten-year-old-ish :D

In a nutshell:

My weekend was interesting. (I might possibly expand on that later.)
My birthday was AWESOME.
My friends are the BEST.
My God is the bestEST.

Bring on my sixteenth year. Fourteen was the best, Fifteen was better, and now Sixteen...wow, I just cannot imagine.

Bring.

It.

On.

:)

The Surprisingly Perfect Christmas

Children
Hershey's
Rambling
Ideal
Stockings
True family
Magic
Always
Snow

:)

No more Christmas Countdown; Christmas is now.

Wow. You know that feeling--that warm, glow-y feeling--when you can't think of anything that would make something better?

When you clean your room well, and it just feels perfect.
When you see a blanket of snow without any footprints.
When you hear a beautiful song.
When you taste the perfect batch of cookies.

When you have the best Christmas ever.

I hope y'all's Christmases were as good as mine. I got lots of good stuff--stuff that I'm happy about--but when I stop and think, I can honestly say that the best part of today has been the people.

I was really starting to worry that this Christmas was gonna be another personal flop. Last night I was freaking out again, over-analyzing and basically ruining Christmas for myself. Then, I remembered the original problem and mentally slapped myself: "Kendra. This was the entire point of your thoughts this Christmas. I mean, it wasn't even a month ago that you figured out your problem was trying too hard. And what do you call this??"

I decided right then and there that this year would be the best Christmas ever. And you know what?

I think it was.

I woke up, and found Baby Jesus lying in his manger on the table in the big room downstairs. Taking him up in my arms, Lizzy and I climbed the stairs with our parents, giddy with the idea that this is the day we've all been waiting for.

Through the hall, across the living room, to the hearth in front of the fire.
My "stocking" on the left, Lizzy's on the right.
I see an iHome!! Lizzy squeals at a new scooter--one actually big enough for someone over the age of six.
My eyes fall on a calender reading: "1,000 Places To Visit Before You Die", and I love it right away.
I take in a memory card for the digital camera I opened last night, and I see a tiny glass bunny waiting for me to smile at it.
There's lots of candy, too, and a puzzle that's a sphere.
A Santa for my collection, and the Lover of Learning statue-doll I've been wanting.
Out of the stocking I pull candy, Bath&Body Works stuff, and more.

Everything is wonderful, and we watch my parents open their "stockings", too.

A little later, my grandma shows up with her bags of pre-picked-out gifts for us. I unwrap all the clothes I picked out and loved. I still love them.

Soon Mr. Keith-from-church comes to enjoy Christmas morning with us.

Not long after, as I'm putting the finishing pieces into my Jacob Black sphere puzzle, our neighbors come over for Christmas brunch.

Minutes behind are Matt and Katie.

Breakfast is huge: grits, two dozen eggs, biscuits, bacon, ham and orange juice.

I will discontinue the picturesque, poetry-like talk for a while because I hate writing in present tense and just realized I'd been doing it. *dreamy feeling vanishes rudely*

So, Matt (little brother) drank, like, half a bottle of orange by himself ;) while he and Cody thought of all the different angles of cannibalism (inspired by Cavender's cannibal peeps theme. Ask him for more details XD).

Examples the Two Came Up With:

- feeding a pig bacon
- feeding a chicken eggs
- feeding cheese to cheese...thanks for pointing that out, Cody...LOL.
- feeding a cow milk. (To this I said, "Well, that's not really cannibalism seeing how calves DO drink milk." Cody replied, "Oh, but it's probably goat's milk." >incredulous silence on my part< Then I was like, "From the cow's udders?" Cody: "...ohh, yeah..."
- feeding your nose a booger (Thank you, MATT.)

After eating a lot of good food, we kids went downstairs and played Outburst Junior. That was pretty awesome :) Matt and Katie found their presents under the tree, but I wouldn't let them touch them. (Well, sort of. Matt touched them anyway. *grumbles*)

Cue cross opening.

Yay, Lizzy! What a cute idea!! So great for the first Christmas in the new house. Perfect. You'll have to wait and see it when I post pictures ;)

After the neighbors left, everyone (AKA, my mom and Mrs. Martha) decided to point out the fact that Matt is getting bigger than I am. *glare* Thank you, I really would like everyone to just take a moment and notice that. *grumble* Just kidding...mostly. But it is irritating to say the least not to be able to actually hold him back when he tries to steal my last cookie, etc.

The funniest part was the feet thing. Matt got really nice new boots for Christmas, and

They.

Are.

MASSIVE. Truly MASSIVE.

I wear a size 11 in women's shoes, which is nearly unheard-of-ly big. I put my foot next to Matt's boots, and HOLY JEEZ THEY LOOK SMALLISH. I put his boots on, too (don't tell him, okay?) and they were roomy to say the least XD

Lizzy's getting taller than me, too. Well, not yet, but her legs are like two inches longer than mine, easy. She's gettin' there. But I don't really mind that much. It doesn't bother me that she's getting taller than I am like it does that Matt is. Weird, huh?

Lizzy got a scooter for Christmas, an iHome, cute clothes (that she said she'll let me wear!!!), a scooter, and assorted other cutenesses and candy.

I got lots of awesome stuff that I mostly already mentioned, but I got a cool journal, too. I wanted to mention the journal individually, haha!

Katie did not get a dog for Christmas. NO, REALLY? *SHOCK* :P Luckily we had gotten it through to her that she REALLY WASN'T GETTING A DOG, so she wasn't disappointed. *whew* But she got really cute stuff anyway. An awesome outfit that made me "jealous", a swing that will attach to your CEILING, and bunches else.

Matt got coats, boots, a camcorder (:O), a PS3 (um, I *think* that's what it is...), and more. Yay!

After everyone left, we watched my present to Lizzy: the Wizards of Waverly Place Movie. Complete with extended scenes, a rock that changes colors, special features, and, of course, wonderful older-brother-little-sister moments. *sniff sniff*

I really can't tell you how awesome today has been. I mean, if there was ever a You-Had-To-Be-There moment, this is it. I feel sorry for anyone who didn't share Christmas with us, because when you share it with friends like this, it just doesn't get any better.

Merry Christmas, bloggers. Let's always remember the reason for the season: the pregnant teenage girl, the confused (of course) guy, and the little baby that would save us all.

(Just one more time: don't you love God's sense of irony???)

~Kendra (the signature isn't working correctly, sorry!)

P.S. Pictures taken with my VERY OWN NEW CAMERA THAT I LOVE (even though it's purple XD) coming soon!

EIGHTEEN DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

FIRST, thanks for following, Glow Fish!!!
Second, I might have mentioned this yesterday...If I did, sorry for being repetitive: there's a Carpe Diem Christmas Countdown button on the sidebar, if you want to take it, be my guest :)

Okay, so in the spirit of Santa, here are 18 things I want for Christmas (in a perfect world, of course; I'm not holding my breath :))

1. A camera - No more asking Lizzy for hers!

2. A better straightener - Frying-hair-by-going-over-it-four-times-with-a-straightener-that-only-goes-up-to-250, FTL!

3. A treadmill - Maybe then I can get my butt out of the computer chair -.-

4. Harry Potter books

5. Pendragon books

6. The third Gallagher Girl book: "Don't Judge A Girl By Her Cover"

7. iTunes gift cards

8. Journals - What can I say, I fill them up so fast!

9. Barnes & Noble gift cards

10. Bobby pins

11. An iHome - They play music, have an alarm clock, a regular clock, and they charge your iPod! What's not to like???

12. An older brother (but I do have KnightWing :)) - I'm not going into this for the millionth time, LOL!

13. Black Amethyst lotion from Bath & Body Works - It's "my" scent.

14. A Time-Turner

15. A gift for math and science - A girl can dream, can't she?

16. To write a story I don't look back on with disgust a year later - :-/ *sigh*

17. SNOW!

18. To be the best witness for Christ I can be.

So, yeah :) Now...

Wanna see our...

Our GIANT, TEN-FOOT Christmas tree??Aaand the smaller one we have for downstairs (it's artificial)?
Aaaaand a picture of me and Lizzy from every Christmas?
Aaaaaaand the organ that was my great-grand...something's?

Aaaaaaaaand (part of) my mom's Christmas tree collection?
Aaaaaaaaaaand the holly-berry-tinsel-twine-stuff in my room?