New Year's Challenge

It is the last day of the year. I really wish I had something deep, insightful, and philosophical to say. At the moment, I have nothing.

I'm very sorry for those of you who didn't "know" me well before Christmas. I am not like this usually. I'm not a depressing person, I'm not a short-winded person, and I'm definitely not one to forgo saying something long and deep at the end of the year.

(This is also not anyone's fault, >insert your name, you know who you are
The past few days (mostly nights...no, actually mornings) have been very interesting. In the good way. I have...

Stayed up very late. (I love you, Cavender and Kyle :D)
Talked to Ellie. (Thanks for helping, "sis"!)
Started a new Orphan Story :O (...*laughs nervously*)
Seen Avatar. (I'll explain that later.)
Acquired a new nickname (two, actually XD).
Learned about football. (Thanks, Daddy :D)

And that was just the past few days. 2009 has been a complete and total adventure, and one of the best ever. A lot of people I know are very glad to kick 2009 out the window, but I liked it. I liked 2009. Let's reminisce, shall we?

*backspaces huge post skimming over the entire year 2009*

You know what, 2009 was great. It was full of everything a year should be. I loved it. It was an amazing year for me. But 2010 can be great, too. My New Year's Resolution?

Stop being afraid of the future. Stop living in the past.

Just because something was great, doesn't mean greater doesn't exist.

2010 is going to be great. That's not a hope. That's a fact.

Because (not to quote Hannah Montana) life's what you make it.

So, let's Carpe Diem, people.

2010 starts now.

~Kendra

Five Wise Men

VOTE ON THE STINKIN' POLL TO THE RIGHT! WE'RE BARELY HALFWAY! THIS IS PATHETIC ;) Just kidding.

THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING, BRIDGET ROWE! I can't find your blog, though, so no link :( Sorry!

*gasp* I am posting twice in a day??? *shock*

Yes. Sorry, LOL. I don't know why I didn't just save that little picture for this post. *shrug*

Okay, one quick thing: does anyone know how to get a scrolling blog button thing on the sidebar? You know, where the buttons scroll through and you can click on the button and it takes you to the blog...Can anyone tell me how to do that? Help would be appreciated, LOL, gracias.

Well, the crowd at church today was somewhat smaller than usual because of the snow. We all expected that, but we never cancel church because of weather. LOL, sometimes it's just my family, Matt and Katie's family, and one other family that show up!

After church, we went home, ate frozen pizzas, and watch Night at the Museum 2 until Mrs. Martha (Matt and Katie's mom) called. She was going Christmas shopping and didn't want to go alone. So, my mom went with her :) Matt and his dad, Mr. Leon, were going to go see the movie Avatar. I was immediately jealous. "WHAT?!" I wanted to see that! DARN.

Mrs. Martha came to pick up my mom, and it turned out Matt and Mr. Leon were in the car! They hadn't gone yet! I could still go! I was very excited until I heard that another of Matt's friends was with them. Darn again. I thought Matt would probably not be pleased with me if I crashed his boy time, so I told Mrs. Martha I'd just stay here. *SIGH* Now I regret that. Forget annoying my little brother! I really wanted to see that movie.

Okay, wow, that just sounded SOOO selfish. But, really, Matt *probably* wouldn't have cared that much if I had gone...Oh well. There will be other times. There WILL be. I will MAKE another time, LOL :)

I also finished reading Earwen's book today!!! She gave me the honor of critiquing it for her! It's an allegorical fantasy called "The Elmeria Chronicles: Shadows". She's selling copies for $20 if you'd like one. (I *think* the offer is still going on...slap me if I turn out to be wrong.) For more details on the offer, click HERE. If you read it and don't love Eristor, then give me your address so I can come over and knock some sense into you ;)

On a completely unrelated note, I just found this website that has good pictures for your basic fantasy heroes, heroines, etc. Not a lot to choose from, but for some reason it gave me a couple of story ideas right away! Maybe you'll have the same inspiration luck? We'll see. Click HERE if you'd like.

Alrighty, Christmas Countdown time! FIVE DAYS! WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did that happen?? I've been counting down and it still snuck up on me! Christmas just has a way of doing that and there's apparently no way around it. *shrug*

Okay, ready?

Five Wise Men

...

Haha, you shoulda seen the look on your face--no, just kidding. But you were probably a bit confused, right? I mean, weren't there THREE wise men?

Nope.

I mean, there very well might have been, but there also might have been five. Or four. Or six. The truth is, the Bible doesn't actually say HOW MANY wise men went to visit Jesus, but since they brought three gifts (gold, frankincense and myrrh), we tend to assume that there were three of them. But we don't know for sure, and I'm all about exposing common myths, so...

five wise men :)

MERRY FIVE-DAYS-UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

On the 17th Day of Christmas...

First: Thanks, Emma, for following! Hope you're enjoying the Christmas Countdown :)

Okay, so it's really just seventeen days till :) SEVENTEEN DAYS!!

I love counting down to Christmas, but in a way it's sad :( I almost don't WANT Christmas to come because I love everything about the season!

Alright, now for the Christmas Countdown, a Christmas tag with seventeen questions!

1. Do you believe Jesus is the reason for the season?
Of course!

2. What is your favorite Christmas beverage?
Hot chocolate with peppermint in it :)

3. Do you have any Christmas traditions?
Yes. Every year someone in my family makes a cross. Last year was my mom's turn and she made a cross out of all the different materials that went into the new house! This year is Lizzy's turn. Wonder what she'll do...?

4. What do you do on Christmas Eve?
We got to the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service at my church and then we each get to open one present :)

5. What do you do on Christmas Day?
We wake up and find Baby Jesus in the manger! We have a real wooden manger and a doll that's been "Baby Jesus" for as long as I can remember. All leading up to Christmas we get to see the waiting manger...and then on Christmas Day, HE IS COME! :)

6. What is your favorite Christmas song?
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

7. Do you usually have a white Christmas?
No, sadly.

8. How long did you believe in Santa?
I never did. My mom sort of wanted me and Lizzy to, but my dad said he felt betrayed and lied to when he found out the truth and didn't want that to happen to us. Looking back, I probably would have felt the same way.

9. Who’s your favorite reindeer?
Well, it's a tie between Dancer and Blitzen. Why? I'm a Dancer myself, of course, but Blitzen's is German for "lightning"! Did you know that? And Donner (originally Donder) means "thunder"!

10. What’s the best thing about Christmas to you?
The feeling of love and cheer leading up to the special day.

11. When do you put up your Christmas tree?
Usually the first week in December

12. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope ;)

13. Does Santa wrap the presents or just stick them under the tree?
Just stick 'em under the tree. The elves do the wrapping!

14. Do you prefer giving or receiving?
Well, both are special, obviously. I don't want to see stuck up and perfect, but I really love giving. I love that anticipation when someone you love is opening your gift!

15. What do you want most for Christmas out of everything in the world, material and nonmaterial?
An older brother, duh ;)

16. Do you go to lots of parties, parades, etc. during the Christmas season?
YES! We have an Open House every year where my mom makes tons of Christmas goodies and people come eat them with us :) My little town also always has a big parade. There are always plenty of festivities this time of year.

17. Describe Santa.
Oh boy! Well, Santa is not like other grown-ups. Santa never gets angry, though sometimes he's disappointed, and he manages to understand all children. He never tells them they should be more like someone else, he always appreciates them for who they are and where they are. He looks for the good in everything and everyone. He's a master of jokes, and his laugh is the most contagious you'll ever hear! His beard is fluffy and white, his belly round, his cheeks rosy and his laugh jolly. Always gentle and definitely wise, Santa is the essence of all things wonderful: laughter, kindness, generosity, wit, humor, fun, joy, wisdom and honor. Yay, Santa!

Now I tag...EVERYONE!! But be sure to tell me you're doing the tag so I can go read your answers!

EIGHTEEN DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

FIRST, thanks for following, Glow Fish!!!
Second, I might have mentioned this yesterday...If I did, sorry for being repetitive: there's a Carpe Diem Christmas Countdown button on the sidebar, if you want to take it, be my guest :)

Okay, so in the spirit of Santa, here are 18 things I want for Christmas (in a perfect world, of course; I'm not holding my breath :))

1. A camera - No more asking Lizzy for hers!

2. A better straightener - Frying-hair-by-going-over-it-four-times-with-a-straightener-that-only-goes-up-to-250, FTL!

3. A treadmill - Maybe then I can get my butt out of the computer chair -.-

4. Harry Potter books

5. Pendragon books

6. The third Gallagher Girl book: "Don't Judge A Girl By Her Cover"

7. iTunes gift cards

8. Journals - What can I say, I fill them up so fast!

9. Barnes & Noble gift cards

10. Bobby pins

11. An iHome - They play music, have an alarm clock, a regular clock, and they charge your iPod! What's not to like???

12. An older brother (but I do have KnightWing :)) - I'm not going into this for the millionth time, LOL!

13. Black Amethyst lotion from Bath & Body Works - It's "my" scent.

14. A Time-Turner

15. A gift for math and science - A girl can dream, can't she?

16. To write a story I don't look back on with disgust a year later - :-/ *sigh*

17. SNOW!

18. To be the best witness for Christ I can be.

So, yeah :) Now...

Wanna see our...

Our GIANT, TEN-FOOT Christmas tree??Aaand the smaller one we have for downstairs (it's artificial)?
Aaaaand a picture of me and Lizzy from every Christmas?
Aaaaaaand the organ that was my great-grand...something's?

Aaaaaaaaand (part of) my mom's Christmas tree collection?
Aaaaaaaaaaand the holly-berry-tinsel-twine-stuff in my room?

Observing the Male Specimen

Friends = Family

Family = Happiness

Happiness = Need To Capture Moment With A Post

Need To Capture Moment With A Post = Here I Am

We had those people over for dinner: Matt (12), Katie (10), Bwell (it's a nickname) (12), and the new boys Sam (12) and Joey (10). (And their parents, obviously.) The girl my age is at camp apparently, so she couldn't come.

I had so much fun. It was like having brothers. It was partly heart-warming, and partly heart-wrenching. I had the time of my life.

Boys are so violent, though. It's kind of fascinating to just watch them considering I DON'T HAVE ANY BROTHERS TO OBSERVE AT MY HOUSE. I had a bunch of my LiveStrong bracelets (those rubber bracelets) lying around that I was gonna throw away or give away, and before long, they were shooting them at each other. After a while, I just joined in.

Then, they just killed each other for a while. I don't know why boys have to try to kill each other FOR FUN. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but in a very strange way I still understand it.

*sob* I NEED A BIGGER FAMILY! WHY IS IT JUST ME AND LIZZY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?? WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD BROTHERS? IS ONE BROTHER TOO MUCH TO ASK? ONE? ONE?? JOSEPH HAD ELEVEN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE AN OLDER BROTHER! I'D SETTLE FOR YOUNGER! A TODDLER? SOMETHING! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

To make matters worse, Sam went over to Matt's house, and Lizzy went over to Katie's house (same house, but whatever), and now I'm ALL ALONE. I went from having a huge, amazing family WITH BROTHERS, to being a sad, lonely, only child.

Life is wonderful, life is sad.

But there's a reason for everything, right?

Right?

*sob*

Questioning God (not an original thought, just original wording)

Okay, so, let's say you've gone hiking. You're just walking along sweating and swatting gnats and hoping ticks aren't dropping on you when all the sudden this random guy pops up and invites you to his little cabin over there. Since this is a hypothetical situation, you agree. The guy leads you back to the cabin, and you both sit down on his porch and have a glass of lemonade.

Then he announces that he is Jesus, aka God (derr ;) ).

You can ask him one question. One question. ONE QUESTION.

Now, I know some of you don't believe in God. I know that at least three of you are opposed to the idea of God. Well, just pretend. This is not going to be a conversion thing, it's just an interesting exercise we did in youth group, so you're safe.

Now. What's your one question?

Let's think about it. You're face to face with God, and you can ask him anything you want. It probably won't be "Whose idea was it to make misquitos anyway? It was the Holy Spirit, wasn't it? I knew it. He's so transparent."

*clears throat*

Anyway.

So, think of your question.

Like, now. Stop reading and THINK OF YOUR QUESTION. Make it good. This is your one shot to take advantage of Mr. Omniscient.

Now that you (theoretically) have your question, here comes the interesting part: That's the thing that's holding you back from God.

Even if you're already a Christian, there are little things that make us hesitant to commit ourselves to God. I have about a million little things and maybe you do, too, but the one question you ask will probably show you what your biggest "problem" with God is. Interesting, isn't it?

(Here comes the part where I get personal and start RANTING. I'll understand if you want to stop reading right here.)

I didn't say my question outloud in youth group, because I'm sometimes closed like that. Somehow it's so much easier to write my true feelings than to say them to someone's face. *shrugs*

My question is going to seem silly. It's going to seem stupid, childish, unimportant, and almost petty, but here goes:

So, God; why didn't you give me an older brother?

And that's it. After I had my question in mind, that's when the youth leader was like, "The question you would ask God is what's holding you back. That doubt is the main reason why it's hard to commit yourself to God." (Or, you know, something like that.) And I thought to myself,

Oh.

That's it. That's true.

That really is what's holding me back.

I may have said this before, but bear with me (if you're still with me at all). As long as I can remember, I've wanted an older brother. It's what I pray for every night, what I wish for one every first star, what I read some books for. Almost as soon as I could talk, that's what I asked my parents for. They explained that God hadn't given them a boy first. He had given them ME. And I, at two years old, was like,

SO? ADOPT.

Well, THAT never happened. And ever since, I've been wishing I had an older brother. In some ways, I think all my problems would be solved if I did. Like, I really think that. Everything that bothers me or is hard for me would be solved or at least helped if I had an older brother.

I want an older brother so bad I sometimes get crazy-jealous around people who have older brothers. I tell Maddie all the time how lucky she is to have Ryan, and never to take him for granted. I DREAM about older brothers. I write the dreams down so I can read them later. I read over certain passages of certain books on a regular basis and try to imagine that I'm the girl in the story, the girl with the older brother.

I'm telling you, it's the one thing I would give anything for.

I can't think of ANY GOOD REASONS for God NOT to have given me an older brother. WHY DIDN'T HE? Having an older brother would have solved so many of my life's problems and caused none. How is it possibly better for me to be brotherless? It doesn't make any sense to me. At all.

Joseph had ELEVEN brothers. Ten of them older.

Would it really have made a difference if he had had NINE? God could have given me the extra.

*sigh* I know it has nothing to do with God "running out of" older brothers. He didn't give me one for a reason. I just really wish I knew what it was.

Wanna know the most disgusting thing about this whole thing?

God sorta gave me an older brother.

Yeah. When I was eight. This guy came along who was just like the older brother I'd always wanted. For the first time in my life, I was really happy. Everything was great. I was so happy. I was thrilled. Like never before, my life was complete. Nearly perfect.

Then four years later, God takes him away. His family decides they don't want to come to our church anymore. Like *THAT*, I never see him anymore.

Uh, ouch. Thanks a lot, GOD.

At least that's what it feels like to me.

*groans* Dang it, now I've gone and made it sound like I think God is this big, insensative jerk. I don't really think that. Not really. It's just that...well, I am sort of mad at God for not giving me the ONLY thing I wanted. God created the Heavens and the Earth, surely he could give me my older brother!!

And he could. But he didn't. Which tells me something:

There's a reason for it.

I sure don't know it, and I may never know, but there IS a reason, and it's all for the best. I just need to remember that.

So, what's your one question? What's keeping you from turning to God?

(Sorry about all the ranting. I feel really bad about blurting all that out now. But after taking all the trouble to type it, I think I'll just keep it. *sigh*)

P.S. *GASP* I have another follower! Emma, YOU ROCK!!

Terrible Misfortunes

*bites lip hard and takes a deep breath*

OKAY, OKAY, KREVAN, YOU WERE RIGHT.

Lols ;) Carpe (as in "carpe diem") is, in fact, in the imperative. I stand corrected :)

Anyway, I don't have much to post, except that I'm still significantly worried about the physical science exam on Tuesday...I'm just so not good at this! *moan* It's coming along okay, though. I just better get a C or above. 'Cause if I don't, my mom is going to make me take it again over the summer :( But I think I'm safe. I usually do fine on tests, even if I suck at the subject. Mostly due to the fact that I am a seriously good crammer ;)

Um...I'm really sorry, but I don't have hardly anything good to say right now!! Hmm...Okay, here's an idea: I'll find one of my favorite quotes and tell about it :D Kind of second grade, but still. It's something.

Quote: “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened."
Author: Michel de Montaigne
Why I like it: Well, I like a lot of quotes, so it's really difficult for me to pick my FAVORITE one, but this one is cool because it sort of describes how I live. Even when I was little (playing slaves, orphans, poor people, etc.), my friends and, especially, I were fascinated by the "darker" side of life. Even now, I make up terrible things and pretend like they happen to me. Not seriously, of course! I don't ACTUALLY think they happen, but it's fun to pretend (I get more like a six yeare old by the sentence, don't I? :) )

Anyway, the point is, my life is, sort of unfortunately, very good (parents never divorced, good friends, good grades, good school situation, etc.). And very dull. Nothing exciting EVER happens to me. I mean, little exciting things, sure, but nothing HUGE. Not MY kind of "huge", at least.

My small town life is just PERFECT for a movie/book setting or something. Little town, nothing ever happens, restless teen with a big imagination. I mean, seriously, where is the magical adventure that's supposed to swoop down on me and carry me off on some crazy journey that I later regret wishing for?? *sigh*

I know that won't happen. I know that I'm crazy to even for a second wish that it MIGHT happen. I don't really think it will. I'm not stupid, and I'm actually kind of practical. Still. My life is dull, DULL, DULL, DULL, DULL. I just wish something would happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And nothing ever does!

So, as Montaigne said, I have to resort to making up my own terrible misfortunes. *grins* Talk to you later!

My Biggest Wish

Hello! We had my family dinner after church today. Roast beef and mashed potatoes and brownie pudding cake for dessert. YUM! My grandma that lives close came, and so did Matt and Katie and Mrs. Martha and Mr. Leon. Matt and Katie I've talked about before. They spent the weekend with us when their parents went on a vacation type thing.

Today was so much fun. The parents went to look at our new house in the afternoon, so we kids were left home alone (cue scary music :D). We played outside mostly. Matt found lots of nasty stuff to threaten to throw at us, and we played around doing all kinds of crazy things.

I really do wish we had a bigger family. I try not to go on and on about it like I did when I was little, 'cause I began to realize how much it bothered my parents, but I still really wish that. Having four kids would have been awesome. I love Lizzy to death, but I wish there were more. :( Especially an older brother. I know that's cheesy and, to some of you who have heard me gripe over the years, a worn-out complaint, but it's so very true. If I had one wish, it would be a three-way tie between perfect health, my books to have the power to come alive (mwahahaha :D), and an older brother. *sigh* I guess it's a little too late now, huh? Lol! :) Guess what my wish was when I blew out my candles?

Seriously, though, today was awesome. I'll definitely be treasuring it forever. Hope everyone else had a great day, too! And seriously, carpe diem. It's the only "today" you'll ever get.