Kendra's 500 Continues!

In honor of ~CD~ turning two, and my 500th post, I'm doing 500 different things spread over a week or so. Get ready for 30 more things...

I Wish...
31. I had an older brother.
32. I had a license.
33. I had a smaller nose.
34. I could read minds.
35. I could control minds (haha, just kidding XD Ish).
36. Jeremy Sumpter lived next door.
37. I had started my 500 things earlier.
38. I'd paid more attention in school my whole life.
39. Crayons would never get dull.
40. I had a bigger family.

10 Celebrity Crushes!
41. ****Jeremy Sumpter**** (<--depending on where you click, there are 3 pictures there XD) 42. ***Hayden Christensen*** (He has one of those smiles that you have to smile back to because your insides are melting.)
43. **Drew Roy**
44. *Michael J. Fox*
45. Alex Pettyfer (<--two pictures in there, too XD)
46. Jesse McCartney
47. Cameron Bright
48. William Moseley
49. Orlando Bloom
50. Shane West

Favorite Movies
51. Aladdin
52. Peter Pan
53. Beauty and the Beast
54. The Bourne movies
55. Braveheart
56. The Sting
57. The Oceans movies
58. The Matrix
59. Pirates of the Caribbean
60. 17 Again

Stay tuned for Dos and Don'ts for Guys, as well as About Girls tomorrow! :D

~Kendra

Blog Birthday?? :O

This is post 499. The next time I post, it'll be in celebration!

But guess what I also realized today? Thursday, the 11th, will be ~Carpe Diem~'s TWO-YEAR-OLD BIRTHDAY! :O

Last year I completely missed my blog's birthday. And I felt horrible. This year, the birthday might be swallowed up in the big 500 post. Unless...

I just put the posts together :) I'm planning to dedicate 100 things to ~Carpe Diem~, and the other 400...you'll have to wait and see!

~Kendra

Four Ninety-Seven...

This post, this one right here, is post 497. Four hundred ninety-seven. Cuatrocientos noventa y siete. Yup.

So, that's only three posts away from the Big 500! Can you believe it?? I missed the Big 400, but I'm determined not to miss 500. This needs to be awesome...epic...legit.

Unfortunately, I've been...let's just say "less than the most active blogger" lately. My posts are beginning to be few and far between, and my activity on other blogs, frankly, sucks. (I do read your blogs, I promise, I just suck at commenting these days.) I'm trying to fix that.

But the point is that it makes a big celebration kind of hard. I'm not particularly in touch with the blogosphere right now. I feel out of practice as far as being the fun and funny blogger I used to be. I'd like to get back to my old self with the Big 500, but it needs to get started with a bang.

Basically, this post has been a grossly extended version of this simple question:

What should I do to celebrate ~Carpe Diem~'s five hundredth post?

I like things that make sense, so maybe five hundred of something. Five hundred questions, five hundred facts about writing, five hundred quotes, five hundred...somethings.

Any ideas? I know I'm asking you to please comment when I've been terrible at doing that myself, but...please? :3

I'll see you again soon--promise.

~Kendra

Little Things

Today has been one of those "little things" days. You know, those days when nothing exciting happens, but you smiled enough to call it a good day.

Last night (which was really today), I fell asleep listening to music.
I slept until almost 11:30 this morning :)
I remembered my dreams enough to write them down.
I had delicious pasta for lunch.
I laid on the beach in the sun and listened to music and read for two hours :) :)
My dog surprised me with a visit to the beach too.
I wore no sunscreen and didn't burn at all.
My summer freckles are coming out. (I never understood why girls in books complain about freckles so much. Maybe I ought to hate my freckles too, but I don't. I've always liked them:))
I drank orange juice with ice in it. I love that.
I had yummy hot dogs and seasoned fries for dinner.
I ate two cupcakes :D
I acted out a Bible story with my scattered collection of animal bands.
I sat out on the screened-in porch and journaled.
I talked to Cavender for a tiny bit, which was an awesome surprise. (He's grounded.)
I watched the end of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

What a great day :) Sometimes the little things make all the difference, we just have to be careful not to miss them.

Carpe diem :)

~Kendra

Last One :(

Hey! The last performance of Mulan was today :'( I think I'm gonna be really upset when it all sets in.

Ellie B is over right now :D She came to the play. So, I'm not really concentrating on this post at all. I mostly just wanted to say "hi" since I haven't posted in a few days. So...

HI!

:)

Talk to y'all later!

Retarded Post

The Sweet 16 party was fun :D It was a little awkward getting warmed up to the other girls, but I still had fun :D

I ate strawberry muffins at Emily's house for breakfast.

And I came home.

And I talked to Shang on Facebook.

And I didn't feel like eating lunch.

And I talked to Shang on FB again, lol.

And I did math. I could have done logic, but I didn't.

And I cleaned a lot. BLECK.

And...here I am. I'm going to babysit in an hour. Fun. It's not like I don't want to go, I just don't want to either. Kind of a *shrug* feeling, you know?

I didn't go to the tournament game last night. Or the one today. Ben (The Dare Devil) is going to hate me. Josh (The Nice Guy) will probably be disappointed. I feel like a failure. Crap.

At least Emily liked the card and present I gave her. I actually made a decent-looking card this time. Usually they look like crap.

*sigh* Maybe I'm tired. I got plenty of sleep though. Like seven hours. Which is plenty. Whatever.

I learned some stuff about some people last night that is good news and bad news. So I'm thinking a lot about that. And that's as specific as I want to get. Sorry.

Okay, this is a retarded post. I'll just stop now. Thanks for reading, play practice for the 31st show starts back Monday. Yay? This time when we do the show, it's the last time FOR REAL. Hmm.

I think I'm hungry. I'm going to eat something.

End of Chapter One?

No, I'm not done with my school work.

No, I'm not finished with my cleaning chores for the week.

No, I haven't straightened my room yet.

Yes, I am posting anyway.

BECAUSE IT'S OPENING NIGHT TONIGHT!!

I gotta post on opening night, right? :)

Unfortunately, this is probably the last you'll hear from me until late Saturday afternoon. I'm spending the night with a friend so I can go to the cast party, remember?

I'm very excited, and not as depressed that it's all ending as I would have thought. I still have three cast parties to go to, and it seems like the friendships I've made might be more long-lasting that I'd at first thought.

Am I finally learning to Carpe Diem?

Even though the performances are all only beginning, I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I have no idea why; I haven't done anything different or said anything final to anyone. It's the strangest feeling. I feel like I've grown up all at once and I'm looking ahead to a blank future just waiting for me to fill it up.

Well, wish me luck! Here comes the first moment of the rest of my life...

(No, THIS is...)
(No, THIS is...)
(Haha, sorry, couldn't resist ruining that solemn moment ;P)


P.S. Thanks for following, Aaron!!

Character Day and Feeling Much Better

Character Day! I'm going to do one of my own today: fourteen-year-old Kaelie Kayla Morgan (KY-lee KAY-lah MOR-gun).

Kaelie is bubbly, fun-loving and impatient, but also clever and maintains a touch of solemnity when necessary. She's a complex person. She can be giggly and easily distracted one moment, and then come up with a perfect solution to a mind-boggling problem the next. Her favorite things include good jokes, the color periwinkle (she likes the name as well as the color), and friends. She despises stupid people, her brother being right when she's wrong, and long waits.

Appearance-wise, Kaelie's looks match her personality. Her auburn hair and extraordinarily bright green eyes give her a clever and excited look. Originally, her hair was supposed to be kind of scrunched-style and shoulder length. Now I'm starting to like the picture of hair I have below. Kind of a Star Trek-esque ponty-tail thing going on, which fits since Kaelie's story is set in the future. What do you think? Anywyay, she's 5'6" tall and weighs about 124lb.

The color and texture (and maybe length?) of Kaelie's hair:

Kaelie's eyes:

Over-all (she's a bit younger than the girl in this picture):

And there's Kaelie Morgan!

----------------------------

So, as you might have gathered from the title of this post, I'm feeling a lot better. I guess I was just having a bad few days. I'm still not who I want to be, but that's okay, but God is working on my every day. I'm not *supposed* to be perfect!

Thanks, all of you guys who left such encouraging comments. You can't possibly know how much they help me when I'm feeling down.

I don't want to talk about school. At all. Next topic.

I'm supposed to be reading "Gulliver's Travels" this week for school. So far, it's pretty good. It's not super exciting, but it's not particularly hard to read either. We're supposed to be keeping a record as we read of all the satire in it. I'm really looking forward to that. Satire/sarcastism is definitely a subject I love XD

No writing to speak of. I've been thinking some about my stories, but nothing has struck me as writing material--yet. I'm still waiting.

I haven't written any "Mirror" in a very long time. Like, MONTHS long time. Am I worried?

Nope.

This happened to me in the beginning of "Mirror", too. I wrote about thirty pages, and then it was a good nine or ten months before I read over it and got excited about it again. I'm just taking a break. Sooner or later, I'll start to miss my characters and I'll get a brainstorm or something and BAM! The words will flow.

Play practice tonight :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D I've been a little depressed, though, thinking about the fact that it has to end.

I'm telling you, I SUCK at carpe-ing my diem. I live in the past (I wish I could go back and time and relieve such-and-such) and in the future (it's gonna suck when so-and-so leaves or when such-and-such is over). I've been trying SO HARD to enjoy "Mulan" while it lasts that I've been ruining it for myself.

*MOANGROANSIGHWAILSOB*

I know this is a weird prayer request, and frankly pretty selfish, but if y'all think of me during the day, do you think you could send out a prayer that I will learn to enjoy life RIGHT NOW?

I guess that's about all I've got to say.

Oh, hah, no, it isn't. I lied XD

Fact or Fiction Day was yesterday. The fact/fiction: Eating 2 poppy seed bagels can make you test positive for drugs.

FACT.

Cavender, Bethany, and Gracie all got it right, but Cavender got it right first. Here's your award, Cavender:

I think I'm going to stop giving out awards for this. Awards are supposed to be special, and giving them out twice a week is just making it kind of mundane. And it's kind of a pain to keep cranking out awards, lol XD

Thanks for being there, you guys!

Happy Labor Day!

First of all, what do you think of my new blog header? Like it? Hate it? Too much? Preferred the old one? Let me know!
--------------------------
Advice Day!

"Who are you? Be sure you know. If you don't, how can you expect others to?" ~Kendra Logan
--------------------------
Well, today is going well so far. Since I actually got my work done this week, today wasn't bad. I had a significant amount of BritLit to do, but since I loved "Paradise Lost" so much, that was hardly work at all. I still want to read the whole thing. Over Christmas break maybe.

Well, as far as writing goes, I got a fair amount on that Desirae Mayes story last night and today. I'm not sure if I like it. Desirae's writing style is not mine at all, and I'm trying to decide if I can stand writing like her instead of me.

Because the story is about Desirae's story, it's kind of a book within a book. Coming up with a plot for Desirae's book is difficult though. Right now, it's pretty cliche and shallow. I'm not sure how much that matters. We'll see.

The overall plot to this story (my story, not Desirae's, lol) is okay, I think. It's so new and sketchy that I can't be sure, though. It most likely won't go anywhere, but with "Mirror" on hold for lack of inspiration, and "The W Chronicles" at a puzzling stand-still, I was going crazy not writing. Writing something cruddy and unimportant is much better than writing nothing at all.

Other than writing and school, that's all that's been going on today. We don't have any specific plans for Labor Day, so we'll probably just chill around here. Maybe we'll get together with the neighbors. (If we do, I'll be able to get the next HP book!)

Oh, one last thing: I made a blog button for, uh, my blog. It's on the sidebar...yeah, right there...You found it! :P It's the same thing as my new header (lol, no duh, right?)

Anyway, I'll talk to you later! Have an amazing long weekend! CARPE DIEM, PEOPLE!

God Sightings

*sobs for joy* 38 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bekah, you rock! Thanks *so much*!!

I'm listening to "Leave Out All the Rest" by Linkin Park, so this post might be a little distant because I love this song and am mostly listening to it and not thinking about typing so much.

Okay. Never mind. It's over.

Such an amazing song. *sigh*

OKAY, so, here's what I plan to cover in this post: Carpe Noctem, God Day, and a quick run-through of my day and the sleepover last night.

Sleepover: It was fun!! We had a blast being crazy and super silly and watching like forty-five minutes of "Twilight". We took lots of crazy pictures. Here's one of them :)

There's nothing like girl friends gettin' together and doing crazy hair! :) (I'm the one in the middle, the tall one, lol!)

Quick run through of my day: Got up, got ready for church, ate two PopTarts, went to church, talked to people, listened to the amazing sermon, went to a little restaurant with D&D and their family, ate only a grilled cheese and drank Coke because their chicken fingers make me sick-feeling for some reason, took David home with us so he wouldn't have to go all the way home only to come right back for youth group (which is near our house), did stupid stuff on the computer, felt sick to my stomach (possibly because of that restaurant?), watched thirty minutes of "Twilight", went to youth group, had a great time talking about Miracles, came home, still feeling sick, blogged on Carpe Noctem, ate dinner, still felt sick, finished blogging on Carpe Noctem, re-did the layout of Carpe Noctem, went up and watched a news special about this news guy named Walter Clonkike (or something) who died, came down here, read blogs, started typing this, still feel sick.

We think it must be something in the well-water at the restaurant that makes me sick. Ugh, I feel kind of like crap.

Carpe Noctem: Uhm, just click on the link up there (or here: http://toseizethenight.blogspot.com/) and read it for yourself. Let me know what you think of the thingies on the side if you do, please.

God Day: Let's talk miracles!

We did in youth group, and it shocked me at how many miracles we've actually seen. Like, ME, personally.

1. We as a church laid hands on this guy who had kidney stone and prayed over him. We didn't pray for his surgery to go well, we prayed that God would just take the kidney stone away. We prayed that this guy would be a living miracle for the doctors to see. Well, he was. He went to the doctor the next day and the kidney stone was GONE.

2. A little girl at our church got kicked in the head by a horse. Her skull was pushed into her brain two inches. She is not paralyzed, has no brain-damage, and is completely healthy without so much as a visible scar.

3. A man at our church, a very old man, had really bad pneumonia. He was on his deathbed. The doctors all said so, we all thought so, but we kept praying. He's alive and perfectly well today.

4. Our youth leaders' daughter had severe heart problems when she was born. Time and time again, she has been a living miracle as she has had problems with that, and come out fine every time.

5. A boy we know was born with 20 different disabilities. He wasn't supposed to live to be more than a couple of DAYS old. He is currently sixteen years old.

6. A friend of our youth leader was doing something that needed a parachute in the dark. He thought he was much higher than he was, and pulled his parachute very late. Miraculously, he didn't die. He landed in a tree, and is pefectly fine today.

7. Our church is very small, and has a lot of bills to pay. Our offering isn't exactly rakin' in the cash. On a weekly basis, the accountant will wonder how in the world we're going to pay the bills. Something always happens.

8. Our youth leader was going on a family vacation a long time ago, and was broke. FLAT BROKE. They did not know how they were going to pay for the gas it took to get to their destination. They day before they left, a check came in the mail for $500. They had overpaid on something.

Stories like that are miracles that I have seen personally! Isn't it amazing? Our God is such a big God!

And it's not just the big things like kidney stones disappearing and money showing up; little things like being late to work so that you run into an old friend, waking up early to see a beautiful sunrise. Those aren't really "miracles", but God did it for you. God is always doing little things for us. You just have to stop and watch for them. At Bible School, we call those "God Sightings".

So look for God in the little details. Watch for miracles. Be prepared for God Sightings.

Hello? What are you waiting for? CARPE DIEM!

P.S. I found this blog a while ago, and this post just absolutely blows me away every time I read it. It's so poweful, so deep, so well-put, so moving, so true. "Reno" puts into words what I've felt before and never have been able to say. A thousand congratulations, Reno, for your amazing, poetic skill with words. Unfortunately, he hasn't enable comments on his blog, so I can't tell him how I feel about his writing, but I *can* share it with you, so here it is (WARNING: depressing, if incredibly eloquent): My Angel.

My Shallow Mind

Well, I got on the computer for like an hour and a half this morning, then spent the rest of it packing and taking a shower. I haven't had lunch yet. I'm just now getting hungry...

I had something really awesome to say, and I forgot it. Dang it.

Anyway, today is QUOTE DAY! I've missed these a lot lately. Okay. Quote:

"You can't cross a sea by merely staring into the water." - Rabindranath Tagore

Very true. I think a lot of times, I just stare into the water. I'm sort of a hesitant kind of person. I have to come up with all the reasons why I SHOULDN'T do something, and then counter all of them. I have to make sure that I really want to do something, that it's the best idea, etc. Unfortunately, I miss out on a lot of perfectly good, fun stuff because of that. I almost didn't go to the mini-camp thing, but then I thought, "Kendra, you never do anything. Like, ever. You're turning into a boring wall-flower and you need to get a life." So, I decided to go :D

I made a quiz on Facebook about myself. It's really hard, because some of the answers are almost ties, lol!

Blogger is still being stupid.

Uhm...I really wish I could remember what I was going to say. It was worth writing about, I remember that much. *sigh* My mind is so shallow. It must be all the computer time.

Which reminds me, I have to get off. I'm down to like twenty minutes of computer time left, and I haven't even written anything.

Shocker.

Anyway, I'm going to go have lunch and then finish packing. Maybe I'll call Ellie B. Although, she's at her cousin's so maybe that would be rude...whatever. I'm getting off. Talk to ya later!

CARPE TUUS (is that singular or plural?) DIEM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EDIT: Ohh, I just remembered that "carpe" is imperative, so the "you" is implied. DUH. So, forget the "tuus" anyway. Sorry. Okay, I'm really getting off now.

Ideas

Wow! Today is absolutely gorgeous! The leaves on the trees are almost "full grown", and the pollen isn't TOO bad. It's also about eighty degrees. Ah, finally. My kind of weather ;) I took my dog and we went for a jog down the trails! She seems about as out of shape as I am ;) I don't know how many miles we went; we just took each trail behind our house twice. It felt great aside from the fact that it was super hot, and it gave me a headache. I dunno why, but exercizing when it's really hot gives me a killer headache. I probably get dehydrated or something.

My grandma came yesterday, and she is staying until Monday. She and my mom and Lizzy (my 12 year old sister) went shopping at around eleven and got back around three. The three of them could shop in every shopping center within reach and not be sick of it. I go in a store, head straight to my department, pick out the first ten things that I like, buy five of them, and GO HOME, lol!

Now that the "burden" of school is gone, I feel two things: really free, and really lazy/bored. I don't know what to do with my time now. *sigh* This happens every summer. I spend most of the summer not doing anything, and then when school comes back, I think "Dangit, I should have enjoyed summer while it lasted." It's another one of those carpe diem things, I guess. The more I blog, the more the title of this blog seems to be perfect.

Lizzy and my dad are going out on our little sailboat now. I don't like sailboats a ton. They're okay, and it can be really nice and peacful sailing, but in general I'm more of a speed boat kind of person. I love going fast! We have some friends who have a great boat, and they used to take us out like all the time during the summer. Then, they sort of stopped and starting going with other people, and last summer, they didn't take us at all :( Hopefully this year will be different.

I want to make this the best summer ever, but I don't really know how. Getting into shape is definitely a good place to start, I think. Eating right, exercizing, blah blah blah, you know. I recently discovered that I actually LIKE salad after all, so that's cool :D Sorry. Not trying to go all healthy on you. Just saying.

I dunno if anyone has noticed, but I didn't post anything on Carpe Noctem last Saturday. I don't know why exactly. I thought about it, but I just...didn't. Not many people read it (which is okay), so if I want to post something that I really want people to read, maybe I should post it here instead. Maybe I'll make Saturdays "Carpe Noctem Day" or something. (Lol, Seize the Night Day!) I have all these ideas for blogs, but I already have two, so I probably shouldn't. Maybe I'll just have different days for stuff. Like, a super short specialty post ever day, then just a regular post. What do you think?

Ideas for Specialty Posts:
1. Quotes
2. Pictures
3. Word of the Day (Week?)
4. Challenge
5. Poem or Short Story (hmm...I dunno. I might switch this for Name of the Week or something)
6. Bible Verse of the Week (I could do this on Sunday)
7. Carpe Noctem

There, something for every day. Do y'all think this is a good idea?

Terrible Misfortunes

*bites lip hard and takes a deep breath*

OKAY, OKAY, KREVAN, YOU WERE RIGHT.

Lols ;) Carpe (as in "carpe diem") is, in fact, in the imperative. I stand corrected :)

Anyway, I don't have much to post, except that I'm still significantly worried about the physical science exam on Tuesday...I'm just so not good at this! *moan* It's coming along okay, though. I just better get a C or above. 'Cause if I don't, my mom is going to make me take it again over the summer :( But I think I'm safe. I usually do fine on tests, even if I suck at the subject. Mostly due to the fact that I am a seriously good crammer ;)

Um...I'm really sorry, but I don't have hardly anything good to say right now!! Hmm...Okay, here's an idea: I'll find one of my favorite quotes and tell about it :D Kind of second grade, but still. It's something.

Quote: “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened."
Author: Michel de Montaigne
Why I like it: Well, I like a lot of quotes, so it's really difficult for me to pick my FAVORITE one, but this one is cool because it sort of describes how I live. Even when I was little (playing slaves, orphans, poor people, etc.), my friends and, especially, I were fascinated by the "darker" side of life. Even now, I make up terrible things and pretend like they happen to me. Not seriously, of course! I don't ACTUALLY think they happen, but it's fun to pretend (I get more like a six yeare old by the sentence, don't I? :) )

Anyway, the point is, my life is, sort of unfortunately, very good (parents never divorced, good friends, good grades, good school situation, etc.). And very dull. Nothing exciting EVER happens to me. I mean, little exciting things, sure, but nothing HUGE. Not MY kind of "huge", at least.

My small town life is just PERFECT for a movie/book setting or something. Little town, nothing ever happens, restless teen with a big imagination. I mean, seriously, where is the magical adventure that's supposed to swoop down on me and carry me off on some crazy journey that I later regret wishing for?? *sigh*

I know that won't happen. I know that I'm crazy to even for a second wish that it MIGHT happen. I don't really think it will. I'm not stupid, and I'm actually kind of practical. Still. My life is dull, DULL, DULL, DULL, DULL. I just wish something would happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And nothing ever does!

So, as Montaigne said, I have to resort to making up my own terrible misfortunes. *grins* Talk to you later!

Something of Substance

Posting about how I used to post "deeper" stuff made me think about changing. More specifically, ME changing.

When you're little, it seems like you never do. I mean, there doesn't seem to be much change between age four and five, or really six or seven either. And on your birthday, when people as "How does it feel to be fifteen?" Or fourteen, or seven, or eighty-nine, etc. Your answer is always (or at least mine was): "Fine. Not much different." So (follow me on this, okay? Logical syllogism coming through), if four is the same-feeling as five, and five is the same-feeling as six, then four and six are the same-feeling, too, right? And then if six is the same-feeling as seven, and seven is the same-feeling as eight, then it would seem that four and eight are the same-feeling, too!

But that can't be right! Surely there's a difference between four and eight! Everyone knows there is. Plenty of differences.

Okay, so there ARE differences. But they don't apparenly take place on your actual birthday when you are officially a year older. They must be gradual changes throughout the year. Which sort of sucks because then we'll never be able to recognize them, right?

Well.

A little over a year ago (on December 16th, 2007), I decided to conduct a little experiment. On myself. (Bwahahaha) You know those annoying fill-outs that you get in your email about every three weeks? You know what I mean. The ones that ask: What's your favorite color? Where were you born? How many houses have you lived in? What's your least favorite food? Do you wash your hair with grape scented shampoo or cherry? And blah blah blah.

Well.

I combined a bunch of those quizzes in my journal. I created my own ultimate fill-out. It was over 100 questions. Then I filled it out (duh). And I started journaling. I wrote in my journal every day (almost) for an entire year. And I made it a rule that I COULD NOT read over any past journal entries. Once the page was flipped, it STAYED flipped. Until a year had passed. I wasn't "allowed" to read my journal until December 16th 2008.

Well, it was supposed to be just one journal. I actually filled up ten whole journals before the year was up. Yeah. TEN.

When the year was up, I went back to that very first journal and copied the questions of the fill out into the journal I was writing in. I didn't look at my answers, I just copied the fill out. Then I filled it out (duhhh). Then I compared answers to PROVE to myself that I DO change over the course of a year. And once I had confirmed that I had changed, I could go back and read through the journals and analyze when exactly the different changes had taken place.

I was actually surprised. I changed in more ways than I knew, and in more subtle ways than I would have guessed. It was a really interesting experiment, and I "learned" a lot. I also really like having all my memories written down. I'll never lose them that way. Even if I forget, I still have a way to remember.

You should be able to tell by now that memories and remembering are very important to me. One of my biggest fears is simply "forgetting." I dislike change, in any way, shape or form, so it's important to me that I at least REMEMBER the way things used to be. Change is the worst when you feel like things were JUST FINE the way they were, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I've been through countless changes that took me from my "perfect" life to a "totally crappy" one.

The bad thing is, I never seem to be able to recognize my having the "perfect" life until I've moved on to the "crappy" one. I'm terrible at not living in the moment. I always live in the past. At least I used to. I'm getting better.

But it IS hard to let go of things that I loved so much. Mostly I'm thinking about people. Not really stuff or places, although moving was pretty big and I still wake up confused sometimes. Every time I think things are great and I'm finally doing/being/having what I want, BOOM! stuff just HAS to change.

Which is why it's important to realize how good you have it BEFORE it gets worse. And then, the "worse" will eventually seem pretty cool. (And then stuff changes again, but whatever :D) The trouble is just recognizing when you've got it good. Things can always get better, but they can get worse, too, so live in the moment once in a while. Enjoy what you've got. Cause sooner or later,

it's gonna be gone.

Summary

Got "Twilight" the movie yesterday, watched it today.

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait for the "New Moon" moive (November 20th, this year. Never too early to get psyched up about it :D :D)

Don't have much time, so I'll do a quick run-though of my life:

Debate is going well.
Creepy is NOT. I'm at a standstill and I don't know why.
I "just" found out I have another 3 to 5 minute speech due in about four weeks.
I need another hair cut. I feel like my hair is too long. AGAIN.
Math is okay...haven't really done much of it this week :D
Science, I'm trying not to think about.
I am really P.O.-ed at my computer right now.
No one is reading Carpe Noctem. Which is sad.
Hardly anyone is reading THIS blog anymore, also sad.
I think I have an eating problem (will expand on this in a second).
I'm afraid one of my friends might be anorexic (will NOT expand on this).
I was feeling really good inside until I started explaining my life point by point.

Okay, eating problem expansion! Every time I eat much, I feel really sick and my stomach gets all crampy. Maybe I have chrome's disease (or however you spell it). I'm significantly freaked out, but it could just be me.

*sniff sniff* I'm hungry :(

Bye! :D

P.S. I have mood swings a lot...

I Didn't Crash and I Also Didn't Procrastinate

GUESS WHAT??? I DROVE TODAY!! AND I DIDN'T CRASH! Lol! I was so happy! Not with a driving instructor or anything big like that, just around the neighborhood where the New House is. At first, it was a little scary as usual, but it got easier more quickly than usual. I've driven before, but only for like three minutes at a time. Just down the road or something. This time, I drove ALL OVER the new neighborhood when we went to see the House.

Oh my gosh, the House is finished! All that's left is for the people to come and clean up the floor and counters and vacuum and stuff. It's beautiful! Wow! And it was really windy today, which is, like, my favorite! (I absolutley LOVE wind.) The landscaping is so beautiful, and the carpet is in. I don't know how or why, but the carpet made my room look bigger...My room with BLUE WALLS of course. Lol! Creativity to the max!!

Today I tried not to procrastinate, and things went...wow. A lot faster than usual. I finished much earlier when I wasn't stopping to stare at my story or check my empty inbox for the millionth time :) Not that I usually do that or anything...........hehe :) I think staying on top of things will be a little easier now that I've seen for myself how big of a difference it makes.

Oh, and I finally figured out who this OTHER girl in my dance class reminds me of. Can you guess? Yup. (Or maybe no. What did you think it was?) Another book character. There's a girl in my dance class named Brooke that looks exactly like Paige Walt from Creepy Story. Acts like her sort of; not quite. But she looks almost just like her, and she reminds me of her. I'll have to post a picture of her if possible....which it probably isn't. Still. I'll try. And I'll try to get one of McKinna, too. Gosh, McKinna scares me sometimes. She's just exactly like Ember Smokeman....

Well, other than my driving and the fact that the House is so awesome I can hardly stand it, not a lot is goin' on. But still, that's pretty good for me. Driving, moving, not procrastinating, meeting my own characters. The worlds is a pretty crazy place after all. Don't miss it. :)

P.S. I still haven't heard back from the Shurtugal.com people. I don't know if you remember, I applied for a job as a columnist for them. They haven't responded...Do you think they're still considering, or should I give up?

My Biggest Wish

Hello! We had my family dinner after church today. Roast beef and mashed potatoes and brownie pudding cake for dessert. YUM! My grandma that lives close came, and so did Matt and Katie and Mrs. Martha and Mr. Leon. Matt and Katie I've talked about before. They spent the weekend with us when their parents went on a vacation type thing.

Today was so much fun. The parents went to look at our new house in the afternoon, so we kids were left home alone (cue scary music :D). We played outside mostly. Matt found lots of nasty stuff to threaten to throw at us, and we played around doing all kinds of crazy things.

I really do wish we had a bigger family. I try not to go on and on about it like I did when I was little, 'cause I began to realize how much it bothered my parents, but I still really wish that. Having four kids would have been awesome. I love Lizzy to death, but I wish there were more. :( Especially an older brother. I know that's cheesy and, to some of you who have heard me gripe over the years, a worn-out complaint, but it's so very true. If I had one wish, it would be a three-way tie between perfect health, my books to have the power to come alive (mwahahaha :D), and an older brother. *sigh* I guess it's a little too late now, huh? Lol! :) Guess what my wish was when I blew out my candles?

Seriously, though, today was awesome. I'll definitely be treasuring it forever. Hope everyone else had a great day, too! And seriously, carpe diem. It's the only "today" you'll ever get.

CARPE DIEM!

Well, folks, it's official. I'M FIFTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess what? It isn't even bad! I'm actually glad to be fifteen. My birthday hasn't even been stressful. I'm thrilled! Guess what? On facebook, twenty-five people wrote on my wall saying happy birthday! I feel amazing! It's nice to know I have such great friends :) Thanks to you guys who emailed me, too ;) I have enjoyed my birthday!

Besides having to get up at 6:15am to go to driver's ed, things have been amazing. Driver's ed that I was so worked up about wasn't bad at all! Besides being almost unbearably boring that is lol! I made lots of friends and the teacher is so funny!

After driver's ed, my family took me to Starbucks and I got my favorite: double chocolate chip frappichino (or however you spell it), and lemon pound cake. Then, we went and bought the movie "The Incredibles." I know, I know. Very little kiddish, but hey, I love it! (That and "Aladin" *sigh* ya gotta love 'em! :) )

My mom is making that amazing potatoe soup that she made for the Super Bowl party I told y'all about :) I'm so happy! Aaaaaaand I'm happy with my haircut. Does it get any better? YES! Chocolate chip pie for dessert! LOL! I'm on cloud nine, y'all! Things are goin' great. Thanks for reading this, and hope you have as amazing a day as I've had!

CARPE DIEM!