What's Up With Me

So. Hey :)

I've been thinking and evaluating and struggling with some things lately. Some of it's academic, some of it's personal, and some of it's creative. This year, you know, my goal is to be more myself. To become more the person I feel like I'm supposed to be. Lately I've been feeling like I have to choose between being myself and keeping up with certain aspects of school.

God has blessed me with two facets to my personality: academic and creative. Normally, they coexist fine, but more and more, I've been feeling like they...well...can't.

I can keep up with my school work. I can do great. I can be a model student and get straight A's and tell you everything you want to know about Nietzsche and his Ubermensch, but when I sit down to write, I've got nothing. Nothing.

For a while I dismissed it as a phase. Writer's block. Um, really LONG writer's block...a year and half's worth of writer's block, and getting worse every day...

In 2008, I read 40 books. In 2009, I read 39 books. In 2010, I read 20. Counting school books.

I stopped journaling. I stopped wanting to call my best friend. I got about eight colds in six months. I started putting on an act 24/7 of being the same Happy Healthy Fun Creative Kendra I've always been. I wasn't really very happy anymore, but I figured hey, I was making good grades and that's what counts.

I was beginning to think that I'd have to make a choice, and I knew I had already decided. Writing is who I am, reading is what keeps me going, but it's not what the world (or my parents, I thought) cares about. I can't even tell you the number of times my mom has told me to "stop working on my story and get back to my schoolwork."

Eventually I could do that for myself, and a little too well. I stopped writing because I didn't have time. I figured I could pick it up sometime when I did.

But guys, it doesn't work that way. You use it, or you lose it. I was losing it and I didn't know what to do. I made time for writing, but the words wouldn't come because I was so stressed out about what I SHOULD be doing. Even when I had legitimate "free-time," all I could do was veg out in front of the TV or click around on the internet because books didn't interest me, my words wouldn't come. I resigned myself to giving up creativity, and although it felt like cutting off my right arm, I was already halfway there.

When this year started, I knew I needed to do something. I was becoming dangerously angry and jealous of the homeschooled friends who had time just to enjoy being alive. I would read blogs and want to tear my hair out, thinking "Why can't I be her/him?" I was doing well in school, but completely miserable and losing myself in the sea of dates, atoms, charts, conjugations and theorems.

Good grades definitely count. Especially when you're (please excuse the potential arrogance) really blessed in the intelligence area and are 150% dedicated to getting into Wake Forest University. Good grades do count. A lot.

But is the syllabus more important than my soul?

I always thought homeschooling was about doing what was right for you, not about teaching to test or squeezing you into a system. I know God wants me to do my best and stretch my mind, but at what expense? I don't think he wants me to sacrifice my creative side for my academic side. I think there's a way for them to work together...maybe? Hopefully?

I finally breached the subject with my parents a few days ago. I tried to explain how I feel. Honestly, I didn't expect a great reaction. I expected something along the lines of, "Kendra, you're just being lazy because you're struggling in subjects that don't come naturally to you. Stop daydreaming and hit the books and everything will clear up soon."

But that didn't happen. My parents listened to me and took me seriously. We didn't argue and we actually understood each other.

That conversation definitely goes in the top three Must-Have-Been-God moments of my life.

We arrived at a pretty simple solution:

- We're ordering an algebra curriculum on DVD that I can do every day.
- I'm postponing chemistry until this summer. Without a background in algebra 2, chemistry is borderline impossible.

It doesn't sound like much, does it? But the way I feel is a 180 degree turn-around. I used to sleep until 10 o'clock because waking up was just too stressful and depressing. I used to write a total of 0 words a week. I used to be frustrated and didn't get alone with my parents very well.

It's been four days and I've gotten up earlier, feeling excited and so much full of ME. I've written more in my notebooks than I did all of last summer. I like my parents.

I just feel good. I feel like I'm enjoying life. I feel like I might try to do chemistry today just because I feel like I can.

I know this was a really long post, and possibly not something you're interested in, but I just felt like posting about it. I guess I sort of want insight. Do you think I did the right thing? I feel good, but every once in a while a shadow falls across me and I wonder if I should have just kept things the way they were and tried harder...

Comments are great... :)

~Kendra

Accio New Post!

I read "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" over the summer because I figured it was a cultural thing and I needed to. It was cartoony ("Muggles"? Really?) and childish (Minerva McGonagall? Please.) and I couldn't see why anyone would like the books.

I felt obligated to read "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" after that because my friend wanted me to. It wasn't really better, although I was at least used to the stupid lingo.

Then I read through "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." I actually liked that one. I liked Sirius. I read over phrases like "Let's use Polyjuice Potion" and "Try Summoning it" without thinking.

I started "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" and couldn't do it. It was mind-numbingly boring and I quit, finished trying. Who cares THAT MUCH about Quidditch??

Two months later, I forced myself to try "Goblet of Fire" again. After the beginning, I got into it. It was...great?? I got sort of into it, in a way.

I wanted to read the next one, so I read "Harry Potter and the Order Phoenix." ...I really liked it a lot. The book didn't even start out boring, though Harry was a whiny git at first. The whole thing was becoming surprisingly interesting and extremely complex. I was delighted at how insignificant things started to fit together so perfectly.

I devoured "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" in like two and a half days. I laughed at Ron, marveled at Hermione and cringed at Harry. It was second nature to summon things (Accio!) and I registered the complicated fighting scenes (Stupify! Protego! Petrificus Totalus!) without difficulty.\
I eagerly read and savored "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." I cried. It was intense and realistic. It felt like I was watching my friends right before my eyes. I knew their histories. I knew their styles. I had watched them grow up for seven years.

I finished the series, including one of the most satisfying epilogues I've read, on Christmas Day (really the day after; it was 12:46). I never intended to like Harry Potter. And I'm not sure why I do. It IS cartoony at times, and I'm not sure that it's exceptionally well-written. But...for some reason, I DO like them. I like them very much. And I'm sad they're over.

I know a lot of you are very anti-Harry Potter. Whatever. I was too. But there's a lot to appreciate in them besides witchcraft and wizardry. There's mystery and humor and realism and morals and great quotes and strong characters and enough creativity for half the Renaissance period.

Stop judging the books before you read them. I was just as guilty as y'all are; I condemned them too (and I still wouldn't NECESSARILY recommend them for impressionable little kids). But I now stand on the issue of HP where I do with the dread T series:

If you haven't read them, don't judge them. (Ah ah ah, no buts. Stop it. Stop--STOPIT. Shush.) It's just as bad as calling a cheerleader stupid or a homeschooler unsocial or a nerd creepy.

That is all.

~Kendra

"The Clockwork Angel"

Hellooo everyone! I hope everyone has had a pleasant week and weekend :D

The Scavenger Hunt is officially over! Only three people won :P Congratulations to...

Third Place: Tragedy101!
Second Place: Noelle!
First Place: Elizabeth!

Yay! I should have awards for you today, but I don't have them yet. Give me until tomorrow if you would :)

By the way, you know my obsession with (the amazing, hilarious, awesome, witty, clever, sarcastic, arrogant, extremely attractive) Jace? And the trilogy he lives in called "The Mortal Instruments?"

Well.

Cassandra Clare has started a new trilogy that happens hundreds of years before "Mortal Instruments." I've been wanting book one, "The Clockwork Angel" for months. I got it yesterday at Sam's (that's like Costco)!

It.

Is.

Great.

I'm only about a third of the way done, but it's great! I'm not completely in love with the characters yet, but that's only because I'm not finished. They're great. Cassandra Clare did a great job of creating a new story and new characters. I would have been tempted to make my hero and heroine just like Jace and Clary, even if by accident. The main guy, Will, is witty like Jace, but he's completely his own character, too.

I've also laughed out loud about 10 times already. I pretty much NEVER laugh out loud at books. I mean, inside I might be rolling, and I might grin or chuckle, but Cassandra Clare always has me giggling out loud and re-reading paragraphs just because they're hilarious.

Seriously, I'd read this book for Henry alone.

And he's not even the cockycutefunnyguy of the story.

~Kendra

Growing Up (unedited)

I used to be funner, lighter, less dark. I used to think about different things. I used to read. And write.

It's probably just a growing up thing. But it's weird. It's weird to think about graduating in two years, and then comes the rest of my life, just like that. I'll be grown up. No more having other people help me or be responsible for me. "When I grow up" is just around the corner.

I don't even know how I'm supposed to do this.
I don't know how to do stuff.
And I like being a kid.

Why is this so hard?

~Kendra

Finally

Y'all know I've been having kind of a rough time lately. Well, these past few days have been just what I needed :)

Sunday:
Play practice went great! My dad took me and we talked a lot in the car. I love that. I don't really talk to him like I used to, and I miss that.

After play practice, I came home and just sat in the living room with my mom and dad :) Sometimes it's nice just to be around. We watched some TV and I colored XD [Shut up. You're never too old to color.]

After dinner, my dad and I walked down to the lake to feed the fish. The sun was shining just right and you see the little swarms of gnats near the water. A boat motor made a loud sound and all the gnats JUMPED! It was the funniest thing! My dad wondered if you could make them jump with your voice. He said "JUMP" in a low voice and...

They did! It was really weird, and equally hilarious.

We went back to the house and Daddy watered the grass while I kicked the soccer ball and played basketball. When he was done, he played with me. I got six shots in a row, which was good for that night. I was missing like 80% of all the shots I took XD

I picked daisies for my mom.

It was a great day.

Monday:
Memorial Day!
"I'm proud to be an American, Where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died, Who gave that right to me."

We can't forget :)

To celebrate Memorial Day, we went down to the lake! My friend Brianna and her little brother Michael came over, and we went down to the beach. Before long, lots of other people had joined us. A few hours into swimming and having fun, a thunderstorm came up! We got a canopy up just in time.

I love thunderstorms. And this one was cool. Not the most amazing one ever, but it had a giant crack of thunder that made me grin.

Some of the kids, including Matt, were actually in the water when lightning struck nearby. Matt said he felt like someone had kicked him in the chest. I wasn't in the water when it happened. I was jealous XD

The whole day was just amazing. Hanging out with friends, doing random things, I even got to DRIVE MY DAD'S CAR. In the neighborhood, but still, with just me and Brianna in the car. Please don't have me arrested.

Tuesday:
I slept late and just kind of chilled around the house. My mom and Lizzy are at a practicum, so it's just me and Daddy at home. We went to this new frozen custard place, which was awesome. Then we went to Wal-Mart to get stuff on a massive list I had just made XD I also got CHEAP CLOTHES! Who doesn't love cheap clothes? I got a skirt and a shirt for a grand total of $9.70. Alriight XD

We ate at Subway.

Play practice went amazing. I'm learning the dances better than I thought.

Daddy and I watched episodes of The Office :) I love that show.

Today:
Another sleeping in day. It felt great.

I laid outside in the sun for a while. It felt soo nice out. I'm not really one of those girls who can just "go out and tan". I get really bored really fast XD But I'm pale. So, I took notebooks, books, and my iPod and managed to stay quite happy for about an hour. Then I got up and played basketball until I satisfied myself with a beautiful three-pointer.

After dinner tonight, a thunderstorm blew up. It was so beautiful. Daddy and I went out on the screened-in porch and watched the bright lightning and listened to the thunder. I love those peals where you can hear where the crack starts, and then follow it as it rips around the sky :)
Daddy had to go to band practice for our church, but I stayed outside and listened to the storm. God is so cool, you know? I think thunderstorms are one of his finest ideas :) It even inspired me to write a little. A beginning of a story that will never go anywhere, but hey, I like it.

So basically, I've been having an amazing past few days. It's finally starting to seem like the best summer ever.

~Kendra

Little Things

Today has been one of those "little things" days. You know, those days when nothing exciting happens, but you smiled enough to call it a good day.

Last night (which was really today), I fell asleep listening to music.
I slept until almost 11:30 this morning :)
I remembered my dreams enough to write them down.
I had delicious pasta for lunch.
I laid on the beach in the sun and listened to music and read for two hours :) :)
My dog surprised me with a visit to the beach too.
I wore no sunscreen and didn't burn at all.
My summer freckles are coming out. (I never understood why girls in books complain about freckles so much. Maybe I ought to hate my freckles too, but I don't. I've always liked them:))
I drank orange juice with ice in it. I love that.
I had yummy hot dogs and seasoned fries for dinner.
I ate two cupcakes :D
I acted out a Bible story with my scattered collection of animal bands.
I sat out on the screened-in porch and journaled.
I talked to Cavender for a tiny bit, which was an awesome surprise. (He's grounded.)
I watched the end of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

What a great day :) Sometimes the little things make all the difference, we just have to be careful not to miss them.

Carpe diem :)

~Kendra

My Daybook: Week 6

Date: Saturday February 27, 2010
Starting time: 5:00pm
Mood: moody
Outside my window: wintery, but kind of light and I can see the grass, so yay :D
I'm thinking: I wish it were summer.
I'm reading: "Witch and Wizard" and "Inkheart" for fun. "Father Brown Mysteries" for school.
I'm listening to: "Forsaken" by As I Lay Dying (<3)
I'm wearing: my favorite sweatpants :D And my Mulan shirt. And my sweatshirt that I wear a lot...
Yesterday, I: did NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING and then went to eat at JP Looney's.
I'm excited for: Cavender's coming to church tomorrow, and my friend's birthday party is tomorrow :D
I'm sad because: I'm a'ight :D
I'm hungry for: Heh, funny story...I forgot to eat today :D But I'm not all that hungry...whatever. I can be hungry for anything XD
The song stuck inside my head is: "Forsaken." Because I'm listening to it. Oh, never mind. It's "Call Me" by Shinedown now :D
I want: As cliche and artsy as it sounds, to find myself...
I love: working hard. (I actually do. I forgot...)
I loathe: how I never write anymore
This week, my goal is: I want to say that my goal is to get back to the way I used to be. But a goal is supposed to be something you think you can reach, isn't it?
Ending time: 5:07pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today was good, despite the melancholy undertone this post has. I woke up badly, though:

Me: *sleeping peacefully...wait...what's that noise...who's standing by my bed??*
Daddy: "Hey. It's 10 o'clock. What time did you want me to wake you up?"
Me: -________- "It's a Saturday."
Daddy: "Yes."
Me: "I want to sleep until I wake up myself."
Daddy: "Okay." *leaves*

Only now I'm wide awake -_- Greaaat.

XD

So, that sucked.

An hour and a half later, I got up. We were supposed to clean today. I despise cleaning. I hate it. Mostly because I draaaaaaag it out and it takes me all day and I've still done basically NOTHING.

But today was different. I got up, and...went into extreme cleaning mode. I cleaned my room, the bathroom, the upstairs bathroom, the school room, did laundry, and did my regular chores in two and a half hours.

:O

It. Felt. Great. I love working hard, I think I really do, I just...I have no idea why I just DON'T. It made me think creative thoughts. It made me feel more like ME than I've felt in a freaking LONG TIME. It was weird. But awesome. I dunno. But I loved cleaning today XD

I did forget to eat, though. I just got into cleaning mode, and skipped breakfast. Well, and lunch. I had some chips like an hour ago, though, but now I feel like I lost a challenge -__- I was gonna try to make it til dinner, but I was like *shrug* "I'll just eat a chip." And now I feel like I lost...Lols XD I'm strange :D

Anyway, I just read "Inkheart" for a while, and now here I am. First time on the computer all day. WooT :D

Haha, I don't have much to add. Today was basically just cleaning XD But it was good. And I felt like the old ME. That was awesome. So, all in all, a very nice day :D

~Kendra

Today Sucks. Yesterday Rocked.

This SUCKS.

*rips hair out*

Yeah, it's kinda been one of THOSE days -_-

My school work went/is going really terribly today. And it's basically my fault. It's just been one of those days where I can't get myself motivated, and I want to do/think about other things.

I don't LIKE being lazy. But it is so hard to change :-| So, overall today has sucked, and is still sucking. Really bad. And me sitting here typing this when I should be doing SO MANY OTHER THINGS isn't helping anything. But here I am :-|

So, yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I didn't blog. *sigh* Ah, well. I did that epic V-Day Eve post, so that counts for something, right? *shrug*

Valentine's Day was good. Actually, no, it was a heckuvalot better than "good". It was pretty much AWESOME :D

I got woken up at 7:30, which wasn't a great start, but there was a good reason: the Heart Trail. Every Valentine's Day, Lizzy and I wake up to a trail of paper hearts leading us to our Valentine's Day candy and presents! :D I'm never gonna be too old for that. I asked my mom if she'll come do it for my college dorm XD

I got CANDY and a cute Valentine's Day shirt. I wore the shirt to church

Church was good. It was the ten year anniversary, so we had a slide show with pictures of everyone in all the different buildings we've met in. Matt and Katie and Lizzy and I were so little and cute! Especially them, lol. No so much me XD I just looked like an annoying, little version of how I am now. Matt and Lizzy's hair used to be almost white-blonde, and Katie was just plain ADORABLE. Curls and lil' chubby cheeks XD Those three are the cutest kids in the whole world (with the possible exception of Kyle's little siblings).

After church we went over to Matt and Katie's house with a bunch of other people. Lunch was tacos. Everyone had trouble eating them, lol! We ended up kinda messy XD

After lunch, I felt awkward. I know it seems rude, but some of the girls...I just feel stupid around them >.< Like they're so much cooler than I am that everything I say comes out lame. So, I opted for antisocial and went upstairs to watch Matt and his two friends play Modern Warfare 2 :-| I feel sort of bad for "ditching" the girls, though :-/

The boys were fine with me hanging out with them. They're used to it. I think they actually like me, at least sometimes. I can't offer any game advice, but I'm sarcastic enough that I provide some comic relief XD

Matt has read all the Harry Potter books apparently O.O I'm still on four...I can't believe it. My little brother reads faster than me now?? Crazy times, people. I wouldn't mind so much if he'd keep his mouth shut, but he just HAS to spoil everything he can think of -_- I spent like five solid minutes with my hands over my ears doing the standard, "LALALALA...".

I think he started to actually get a little bored with MW2 after a while. He went and got the third book in the Percy Jackson series and started reading O.o How did I miss this facet of his personality?? I didn't even know he liked to read much less INSTEAD of video games! :O

I'd read the first book in the series, and part of the second one, but I'd never finished it. Matt gave me the second one and we started reading. We scared his friend with our lovely, wholesome interest >:D

After Friends A and B left, Matt and I just read in the movie room until Mr. Leon came up and said we were being antisocial. *sigh* So we had to go down and mingle, lol XD

Then there was youth group. It was a tad boring.

Then my family went out to dinner at JP Looney's. That was good. We called Matt and Katie to see if they wanted to eat with us, but they were tired from all the company, so we just got wings to bring home to them.

Don't you love friends that you can just walk in on and they don't think anything of it?

We got to Matt and Katie's house with the wings and Matt came to the door. He blinked,

"Y'all come late..."

Lols XD

We walked in and put the wings on the counter. Katie was studying for a Latin test and was really worried about it, so I sat down and helped her. Matt ate wings and read Percy Jackson. My mom and Mrs. Martha went to the bedroom and talked secrets apparently. Katie tried going in several times and got shooed out. Lol *shrug* The dads just sat talking and watched the Olympics.

Their house feels like a second home. I love them.

Then we came home, and I talked to Cavender :D :D :D :D :--Yeah, lotsa smilies, ANYWAY. Advance claiming FTW ;)

Then I kinda vegged out on the couch 'cause I was starting not to feel good :-| I watched the Olympics and texted someone...*cough* Cavender *cough* Then I watched Wizards of Waverly Place for a little while, hoping I would stop feeling sick to my stomach -_- I did.

Then...I went to bed :D And slept until 8:30 this morning.

So. Yesterday rocked. Today sucked/is sucking :D/-_-

~Kendra

My Thanksgiving and a Tag!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! As cheesy as it might sound, I'm really thankful for you all and this blog. Having somewhere to write whatever I feel like is great, but knowing I have people who care reading it is ten times better :) I appreciate you all so much! God bless you guys!

Today was fun! I woke up a little after nine and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, OF COURSE. Totally a family tradition. After a while I got dressed in nice(ish) clothes, and Kathleen came upstairs. (She's a late-sleeper :D) My aunt, uncle, and other cousin Garrett arrived at about noon. Garrett (will be 15 in December) is so tall :-/ I feel tiny next to him, which is never the case. He's 6'2" and I'm like 5'7". *shudder* :P

After dinner (turkey, ham, sweet potato pie, corn casserole, stuffing kind #1, stuffing kind #2, cranberry sauce, strawberry salad, rolls, pumpkin pie, gingerbread cake, and pound cake!), we cousins always just mess around for a while before everyone goes to visit my grandfather's grave and then my great uncle. My grandpa died in 2001 :( and my great uncle just...never comes out of his house except to play golf and go to the store. LOL. Some day I'll do a post about my dad's side of the family. It's...really something XD

Depending on what mood my great uncle is in, the visits range from short and stiff to really fun and engaging. But before I get into the visit itself, allow me a quick paragraph on his house.

It's really big and old and completely white on the outside. There's a porch, but it's just like an inch off the ground and, like, gray concrete. There are big white pillars that go from the ground to the top of the house. It's definitely not pretty.

Then you open the door. Right in front of you are steep, freaky stairs. All along the stairs are giant boxes and garbage bags filled with STUFF. To your left is a room with a fire place, two couches covered with the UGLIEST orange and brown pattern ever. Then there are about fifty boxes and twenty garbage bags full of STUFF. To your right is the dining room minus a table, chairs, and a china cabinet. And yet, it's completely full. OF BOXES AND GARBAGE BAGS OF STUFF. Don't even get me STARTED on the man's kitchen. You'd have to pay me a lot to attempt to find anything, and even more to eat anything that came out of it.

Basically, the guy's the world's biggest pack rat. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. In the WHOLE WORLD, maybe he comes in more like...second. But maybe that's being too kind. My great uncle has...some of everything. He hits every sale Wal-Mart ever has and buys at least three of whatever it is. Yard sales are his thing. Basically anything kind of sale is his thing. The useless family heirlooms he's collected are crazy. I mean...I don't even want to get into it.

BUT, he did have a couple of items of considerable interest to me and Garrett: SWORDS.

Real swords!! From Thailand and India! A machete and...some other kind of way cooler sword. And several cool knives. Oh man, that was so awesome. I want a sword really bad(ly). Actually, I want a dagger. Well, I call it a dagger. My dad says what I want isn't called a "dagger" (excuuuuuuuse me, lol). I want something small (maybe a four or five inch blade) and sharp that comes in a little sheath. Is that not a dagger? Einar? Is that not a dagger?

Anyway, the sword part was freaking EPIC, and my great uncle was in a really awesome mood. We had tons of fun and took plenty of pictures to show my grandmother. *grins evilly* Maybe I'll upload them later.

Now, H--Gracie tagged me! The tag is fun, so read it if you feel like it. If you're leaving, HAPPY THANKSGIVING

TAG:

Do you like to write? YES.

Favorite books? Eragon, the Mortal Instruments Trilogy, the Farsala Trilogy and...I'm forgetting something...someone help me out...

Do you compose music/write songs? I haven't ever written the music down (I don't how), but I've written lots of lyrics and thought of some tunes.

Do you like poetry? Some.

Love someone so much who made you cry? Yeah :-/

Broken a bone? Nope. Maybe my pinkie toe a couple of summers ago, but it might have just been sprained. I never went to the doctor, so I'll never know...but I *can* move it by itself now >:D

Been in a police car? No.

Been on a boat? Are you kidding me?? I live next to a lake! I looooove boats. Good times, good times.

Fallen asleep in school? No, haha.

Did you sing today? Yep, in the car. I'm still figuring out the mystery of alto harmony...

KFC, Popeyes or Church's? Um, KFC. What kind of a choice is that?? Their mashed potatoes are especially excellent!

Chick-fil-a or What-a-burger? I have no clue what What-A-Burger is and Chick-fil-a fries in peanut oil, so it makes my throat hurt. *sigh* The injustices of life :)

Starbucks or McCafe? Starbucks. McCafe is good, and I love McDonald's, but nothing's quite like Starbucks.

What's your favorite time of year? SUMMER. Do you even have to ask!

Do you ever talk to yourself? No, never. But I do have several, um...*imaginary* friends that keep me great company ;)

Do you have a favorite treat you like to buy on occasion? Anything sour, and atomic fireballs :D

Do you believe the Bible is the literal Word of God and is infallible? Absolutely. Whether it's literal in the way we think of it in some places (mainly Genesis), I'm not sure about.

What's your favorite sport? Definitely dance. But if you insist on ball sports, SOCCER. I'm also dying to do fencing and archery though.

What color is your iPod? Silver

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? In THIS world? ;) Ireland.

If you could go to any fictional place, where would you go? TOUGH CHOICES. Alagaesia probably. Unless my own worlds count, and then it's a tie between Sorayoni and Jeolotoe.

Do you love to write or do you just like writing? Love it. When you like to write as much as I do, it stops being a "gift" and becomes a mental disease.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Lawyer-writer-mom-teacher. Don't you dare tell me I can't do it all >:D

Favorite animal? Puppies and anything adorable. I'm a sucker for those big eyes, lol :)

Favorite song? Hmm, it changes. Right now, Orchard of the Mines. AMAZING.

Do you like school? Eh, yeah, I guess. I love learning with everything in me, so I guess I have to. I do not like math and science at all, though.

Are you a people person? Yes. People are my coke. Lols, that sounds even weirder than I planned >:D

Do you like to talk? I will quote a Facebook flare: "Telling me to stop talking is like telling anyone else to stop breathing."

Favorite food? Ugh, seriously? Um, I love my mom's corn casserole. Also love M&Ms, Cadburry mini eggs and tomato soup.

Hobbies? Reading, writing...um...arguing, goofing off on the computer, reading, writing, hanging out with friends, languages, writing, music, reading.

Favorite author? Hilari Bell is definitely one of the most brilliant writers I've ever read. Cassandra Clare is extremely talented, too, though. (This is not including obvious ones like Tolkien and all the famous people XD)

Favorite weapon? My mind. But if it has to be concrete, I'll definitely side with Gracie and say a bow and arrow.

Is this a fun tag, or are you getting bored? Fun, but I really should be with my family on Thanksgiving, so it's getting kinda long...

Do you like Hannah Montana and all those girly people and movies like High school Musical? Shoot me, no.

What are you scared of? Forgetting, losing people I love, and crane flies.

Favorite flowers? I do not know...

What is the expression on your face? Glazed and bored-looking, even though I'm not really.

Color of your eyes? Blue and green. Kinda like THIS.

Who are you going to tag and why?

1. Kyle Hendricks, because he says he never gets tagged.
2. Chris Kolmorgen, because he's proof that good Christians can still accept Twilight :)
3. Lady Brainsample, because she wrote older brothers into her stories, too.
4. KnightWing, because he's my internet older brother :D
5. Bleah, because she's my newest awesome follower!

Thanks!!

School Schedules. Care to Share?

I've been doing so well in keeping up with my school work that today is barely hard at all :)

I'm curious, though. Every homeschooler's day looks different, and so does every public schooler's. What is a typical day for you? Here's mine:

9:00am: Get up.
9:15: Eat breakfast, read whatever book I'm reading for school.
10:00: Art history. Research, write the paper.
11:30: Read a chapter in "How Shall We Then Live?" and make notes of things to add to my timeline.
12:15: Eat lunch.
12:45: Math.
1:15: Read the chapter in Latin, learn the new grammar rules, make flashcards, and do assigned exercises.
2:15: Read 10 pages or so in biology, add new vocabulary, make notes.
3:15: Read a lesson in logic, do the long, easy, brainless and pointless excercises.
4:00: Work on whatever presentation I'm working on (art grant project, a debate, some other presentation).
4:45: Finished with school! Do chores, and whatever house-cleaning I might have to do.
5:15: Oh sweet freedom. Time to check Facebook, read, write, or blog.
6:00: Dinner.
6:30: Leave for dance, or soccer, or play practice. Whatever it is that night, lol XD
9:30: Get back from dance, or soccer, or play practice. Whatever it is that night.
9:35: Facebook, write, or blog.
10:15: Off the computer, brush teeth, get on pajamas.
10:30: Get in bed and read, write, journal.
11:30: Lights out (usually :)).

And that's a typical day for me. Of course, it varies a little with each day. For instance, I've done all my Latin for this week, so today all I have to do is review. Biology wasn't much today either, and neither was the reading. Then you have those days where you've procrastinated and it takes FORTY TIMES LONGER to do everything :)

We're reading "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens, and I am LOVING it so far. The story is exciting and mysterious, the writing style is interesting but not TOO hard to read, and the dialogue is full of dry humor--my favorite kind :)

Also not on the schedule: MY FRIEND'S SWEET 16 TONIGHT!! How fun is that?? The first Sweet 16 I've ever been invited to. Not that I don't have any friends (lol), most of my friends just haven't started turning 16 yet. This is the girl I mentioned in Awaiting the Sensation of a Short Sharp Shock (Emily) who helped me feel more comfortable with the "popular kids". She's so nice and fun, and I'm really excited about her party tonight! Only two things are "bad" about this:

1. I have a soccer tournament game tonight. Yeah, TOURNAMENT. I missed basically the entire soccer season between the play, being sick, and the DC trip. How SUCKY is that?? I can't believe this! I think my team is mad at me, too :( I went to the game last night, and we lost, so we have to play again tonight (EXACT repeat of last year; it's crazy). But I can't miss this girl's Sweet 16, can I? NO! *sigh* I don't know...
2. The restaurant we're going to has peanuts. I'm definitely worried about getting peanut stuff in my food...Oh well. Hopefully I won't die or something. (I won't die, I might break out in hives and feel bad, though...)

Anyway, back to schedules. What does yours look like? Whether you're public, private, or home schooled, we all have different working styles. Care to share?

"Stargirl" and Vacation Heads Up

Well, the temporary Jace obsession is fading fast, so there's good news for you ;) He's still awesome and everything, and the books are very good, but you don't have to worry about any more Jace pictures or quotes, I don't think.

Although, since this IS Quote Day, I'll probably post one of his quotes anyway, but that will be the end most likely.

I woke up at ten o'clock today. Ah, there's nothing like sleeping late, then looking out the window and seeing it's sunny, warm, and breezy outside. I ate two Pop-Tarts, finished reading a book called "Stargirl", and then got on here to resume my life as a computer nerd. We might be going to the lake later today, though, so I'll get out then :)

I just want to say a little about "Stargirl". It's written by Jerry Spinelli. (He's written other stuff, but the only other thing I've read, I think, is "Loser".) I really like "Stargirl". It's not one of my favorite books necessarily, but it's provocative and well-written, even if the style is a little odd. I'll post what it says on the back of the book:

"She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitter shadow of an elf owl. We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew."

Stargirl is a very interesting character, and the whole book is just like one eye-opening experience after another. It makes you think about things in a whole new way. It's a really strange book, but I would recommend it to anyone. It's relatively small, only 186 pages long. I could probably read it in a day, but it's pretty good reading.

I'm going on vacation tomorrow, to the beach! Yay! My grandpa lives really close to the beach and he works at a hotel. We're going to stay at the hotel and be with him some, too, because his brithday is the 10th.

I really like my grandpa. He's fun and always looks for the good things in life. He's funny, but not on purpose. He's terrible with directions, which makes for some hilarious stories. He's always so put-together. He wears nice business suits and seems like the kind of person you can ask things and depend on. Everyone likes him. He's easy to get along with, is considerate and kind, and a good worker. He's an awesome grandpa and I love him a lot.

I'll be gone until Tuesday, but my dad is bringing his laptop along and the hotel has WiFi, so I might be able to post. I don't know for sure. We'll see.

I haven't written "Mirror" in a little while. Hmm. I'm in another block. This time it's because I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't know what I want to happen for sure, or how to end it. I have several possible endings, all of them good, but I don't know which one to chose. Oh well; I guess I'll figure it out eventually, right? Hm.

Thanks for reading this jumble of odd thoughts! I hope your day is going well!

OH! I almost forgot! It's Quote Day! But I don't I'll do a Jace quote after all. I think I'll do a Stargirl quote:

"And...I see. I hear. But not with my eyes and ears. I'm not outside my world anymore, and I'm not really inside it either. The thing is, there's no dfference anymore between me and the universe. The boundary is gone. I am it and it is me. I am a stone, a cactus thorn. I am rain. I like that most of all, being rain."

Love is a Verb

Word of the day: love.

How unoriginal, right? Well, maybe, but this DC talk song has been in my head all day, and it just seemed like the right word to use. The song that's been stuck in my head is called "Luv is a Verb". This is the first verse to the song:

Pullin out my big black book

Cause when I need a word defined thats where I look

So I move to the L's quick, fast, in a hurry

Threw on my specs, thought my vision was blurry

I looked again but to my dismayIt was black and white with no room for grey

Ya see, a big v stood beyond my word

And yo thats when it hit me, that luv is a verb

Cool, huh? I think we all need to remember that. Love isn't just something you say to people; it isn't just a mushy emotion. It's a VERB. If you love someone, don't just tell them. Show them.

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Well, today is my daddy's birthday!! Happy birthday, Daddy! Although, he rarely reads my blog anyway, so he probably won't see that...haha :)

Tonight we're having his "party". Tomorrow, he leaves for Jamaica. Crazy, right? I can't believe I haven't told y'all this before: he's going on a misison trip to Jamaica with four other guys from our church. I hope they'll be safe. And have fun. And help people learn about God. And be safe. And meet lots of new people. And be safe.

I'm such a worry-wart. I'm not super worked up or anything, I just really hope nothing goes wrong. That would be more than awful.

I have a really bad headache. Owww...

I've read ten books in two weeks. Wow.

My head hurts. And I have nothing more to say. Carpe diem! :)

P.S. Seth, you're awesome! Thanks for following!!!

Couch Potatoes Can't Apply Makeup

So yeah. That's what I've felt like all day, lol! I'm so lazy. I watched like two whole episodes of Nanny 911. Yes, I did. And it's even pretty outside today!!!!!! I have to get out of the house! What is wrong with me? Okay, I know what's wrong with me...

I'm afraid of ticks. How pathetic is THAT? There was one on my shirt Friday after I took a walk, so I freaked out. And now I don't want to go walking in the woods anymore. And that's like my favorite. :( I'm such a wussy!! I'm not sure why, but ticks seriously creep me out. *shudders*

Someone stopped following my blog. Apparently they realized that it's not healthy to listen to the rants of a weird-o like myself ;)

Tomorrow is my sisters dance rehearsal! My mom won't be home from speaking at the practicum, so I'm going to have to do her hair and makeup. O.O HELP! I hope I do okay with that. I'm not completely incompetent in the art of beautification, but I'm not exactly an expert either. And I've never tried to apply eyeliner to anyone but myself. I'm also a big believer in less is more, so I hope I can bring myself to put enough on her so that she doesn't look washed out under the lights. I'm pretty sure I'm over-thinking this.

I started the final installment of The Farsala Trilogy today!! So far, it's fine. Not great or anything, but, I mean, I'm only on page like twenty-five. I'm not sure why I'm not at least halfway finished yet. Either I'm being lazy, or I just don't want the trilogy to end!! I think it's a little of both.

*incoming sarcasm* You should be proud to know that I wrote 619 words today. *sigh* I know, I know. I should be doing more than that, but at least I'm writing AT ALL. Yesterday was better. I wrote like...oh. Less than that. Well, one day recently, I wrote a bunch. I don't remember what day, Saturday or Sunday maybe. But I HAVE been writing. Promise :)

Tonight a family that goes to our church is coming over to eat ice cream, return my dad's tiller, and help us fix a problem with the stupid printer or something. Haha, I love having good friends! Abby and Jarrod are so much fun. I've mentioned them before. Abby is seven, Jarrod is nine. They crazy and fun :) So I'm looking forward to this evening.

Well, that's all I can think of to say! Hope I didn't bore you to death...anyway, carpe diem!

Kade and Magic

Okay, I think today is going to be Name Day. I might do the names of my friends or of famous people sometimes, but probably I'll mostly do random names that I think are cool.

Today's name is *drumroll*: Kade!

No reason behind this name; it's just one of my favorites. It's a boy's name, but I read that it can be a girl's name, too. I think if I were naming a girl that, I'd spell it differently: Cade.

Anyway, it apparently has many meanings. When I found it and loved it a couple of years ago, I thought it meant "strong". When I googled it just now, I got a bunch of meanings including stout, sturdy, from the wetlands, and barrel. LOL! I like "strong" the best. Doesn't Kade sound like it means "strong"? *shrug* I'm name fanatic, so I'm probably more into this than any of y'all are ;) Oh well. That's the name of the week: KADE! :D
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Not much that's very exciting happened today. My mom gave a party for her class of eighth graders (Challenge B-ers), and my ninth grade (Challenge I) friends were invited, too. Some of them came, so that was pretty fun, although I will say I was underwhelmed at the manners and lack of common courtesy displayed by a few individuals.

Tonight, a couple is coming over for pre-marriage counsiling, so we're waiting dinner for them. They're supposed to be here at seven. *moan* I'll staaaaaarve! :) Just kidding. I'm definitely getting hungry though...

Tomorrow is my friend (Ellie B)'s play. I'm hopefully going to it. On Saturday I have an extra practice session for my dance class. We're going to rehearse the finale dance we've recently learned.

I told you I went to the bookstore Tuesday, right? Well, I did, and I got five books! :D :D Yay!! I've already finished one, and I'm halfway through another. I just love books. I know this sounds really cliche, but they can take you to different worlds and cultures on amazing adventures without your ever leaving your house! How awesome is that?

In my opinion, words are the closest thing we have to magic.

Maybe that's why I want to be a writer so badly...

Carpe aestas!

Things Worthy of Being Read

Part 1 of This Post:

“If you have not done things worthy of being written about, at least write things worthy of being read.” –Giacomo Cassanova

This goes along with yesterday's post. Since nothing happens to me, I'll just have to write exciting things instead!

I think this is one reason why I love to write so much. I hope I DO write things worthy of being read. When "Mirror" is finished, I plan to try to get it published; then, I'll know whether or not I succeded.

To succeed, though, I must know what worthy of being read IS, right? What do you think? I know what I think, of course, but I'm not going to be the one buying all my books if they ever get published! You tell me. What makes a book worthy of being read?

Part 2 of This Post:

There are three main reasons why I love to write:
1. I love words.
2. Nothing ever happens to me, so I have to write exciting things for someone else.
3. I'm a control freak, and being a writer is a little like being God for a while.

And three main reasons why I love to read:
1. I love words.
2. Nothing ever happens to me, so I have to have adventures without ever leaving my room.
3. It's interesting to see other people play God for a little while.

So, in conclusion to this short post, I both read and write mainly because I love adventures and words and never have adventures so I have to play God for my characters and write things worthy of being read.

I love that quote. Go carpe your diem!

P.S. Ever noticed that the word "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together? I hate physical science.

A Lil' Bit of Everything

Hi!!

Well, I know y'all are just dying to hear about my philosophy project and its progress, so here it comes ;) IT'S GOING GREAT! Lol, I bet you didn't see THAT one coming, did you? I finished it up today, and my mom said it's really good. Wow! Who would have thought??

I'm a little sad that I don't get to debate again tomorrow (lol), but watching the next round should be fun. Lionkinglover14 and Kirsten (not a blogger) go against Amandaa and Chris G. I feel safe to say that I believe the former will win for two reasons. One: they don't read this blog :P and Two: I happen to know that Chris G and Amandaa weren't a fifth of the way finished on Saturday. Still, there is hope. They're definitely super smart when they put their minds to it :) Lionkinglover14 and Kirsten were finished completely, like, Wednesday :D

Well, we had to read "The Old Man and the Sea" this week. And--

OMG.

I just realized I haven't written the paper on that book. And it's like dinner time the day before. *gulp* I can either do it really fast and no-so-good, or I can beg my parents to give me a couple of days to do it. Either way, I'm probably in trouble...oops :)

Anyway, I didn't like the book a whole lot. It was really simple and didn't have much plot. I didn't even think the moral was particularly good. At least it was short though :) 127 pages in like 14 point font double spaced. I read it in like two sittings (the first sitting doesn't even count because I only read like four pages, lol).

Well, that's all I think...yup. BYE!