Warning: Don't read if you have a history of depression.

My house is the black hole of depression. THE BLACK HOLE. My whole family is upset and so freaking stressed. You don't know. You can't know. My mom is crying, my dad looks so defeated, my sister avoids us, I can't even breathe I'm so...something. We've put everything on the line, and things just...fell apart. We can't move in, our house is in chaos, we don't know when we'll be able to move. We can't live like this. My parents have to work, my sister and I have to do school. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, my throat hurts (probably because I'm holding back tears), my everything hurts. Everything is dark. Nothing has color right now. This is a bleak, depressing, probably-melodramatic post, but it's how I'm feeling. I can't even write Creepy. I have so much driver's ed homework to do it isn't even funny.

Life sucks. And then you die.

Carpe diem?


P.S. I just had an interesting idea: I should have a blog called Carpe Noctem...hmm...

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Well, I was right. This week is crap. ********************************

We aren't closing on the house. Some screw up with somebody. I don't feel like relating the detail. Crap, crap, crap, CRAP. We already started moving. There's, like, boxes everywhere. We don't know when we'll be able to move in now. Maybe tomorrow after all (yeah right), maybe next week, maybe next MONTH. Gosh, I hate it when my psychic self is right. Gosh.

On a lighter note, I FINALLY THOUGHT OF AN ENDING FOR CREEPY STORY!!!! YESSSSSSS!

On another lighter note...oops. There isn't another lighter note. *sigh* I'll keep you posted.

Moving and (Maybe) a Bad Week

The shelves are slowing emptying, brown boxes litter the floors, the sound of packing tape ripping fills the air...we're moving.

Even though we can't officially move into the New House until Friday, we're already packing stuff up. I haven't started on my room yet, but everyone else has gotten started. Hmm. Better start soon. Things aren't super tense yet; I'll let ya know :)

I understood math today. The world probably stood still in respect for that rare and beautiful occasion :)

Didn't feel like going to dance class, but I did anyway. It was okay. I got there and found that I only had one lonely tap shoe in my bag... The other one was missing. Great. I had to dance in jazz shoes, which are way softer than tap shoes. I kept forgetting and banging my toe down on the wooden floor. OW.

The girl who's Ember's real-life twin wasn't there, but Paige's was.

Creepy Story (I mean "The Mirror...gotta get used to that) isn't going well right now. It doesn't feel like I have writter's block, it just feels like...I've lost interest. BAD, BAD, BAD THING. Yikes. Maybe creating my website was a jinx. I need to un-jinx myself and fast. Ideas are boiling in my brain and I just don't feel like writing them down!

*Sigh* This week is going to be bad-interesting. I can feel it for some reason. Don't know why yet, but I just feel it. Oh well. I'll be happy to be proven wrong (for once).

tobyMac

Sorry I haven't posted like at all lately! I don't really know what happened...I just...didn't blog, lol!

Well, I went to a Winter Jam concert on Saturday night. AWESOME!! My favorite artist (at the moment), tobyMac, was there. He gives an amazing preformance. He even jumped into the crowd at the end :D Do y'all know how old tobyMac is? FOURTY-FOUR!! Daaaang! He's almost the same age as my dad. Toby is still dancing, flipping and rapping just as much as ever. It's pretty cool. His kids are awesome, too. One of them, the oldest (he's 11), whose name is Truett, but is know as truDog, is one his CD "Portable Sounds." I'm sure he's on other CDs, but I only have "Portable." (Just in case you were wondering, the picture is of tobyMac when he was a little younger than he is now ;) ) Here's a link to a bunch of pictures (just in case you wanna know lol): http://tobymacfans.com/2008/tobymac-photo-gallery/

Well, other than going to Winter Jam, not a ton has happened. My friend Ellie slept over for her birthday (which was the 22nd. Say happy birthday :) ) right after Winter Jam. We had fun, but she has, like, a never-ending energy supply. I was exhausted at 11:00 (not typical, though. I was tired because I had to get up at 6:00 for stupid driver's ed), but she wasn't. We ended up going to bed at around 1:30, and I felt like I was dead all Sunday. Ugh. It was freaking awful, let me tell you. I don't really even know why. I'm usually not that bad with little sleep. Usually I can take it and just catch up, but not that day for some reason. Oh well. Fully rested now :D

Like everyone I know (okay, that's a slight exaggeration) is coming down with the stomach virus. AHHH! I'm so paranoid now. The stomach virus is like my worst nightmare. I hate it with a fearful passion. If someone comes up with a cure for throwing up, I'll buy it no matter what the cost. So basically, little pessimistic me is just sitting here waiting for her stomach to her, lol! Hope I don't get sick...And keep all the poor sick people in your thoughts and prayers, lol. Being sick sucks.

Well, that was my past almost-week in a nutshell. School, school, Winter Jam concert, stress, school, sleepover, sickness, school. ;) No, it hasn't been that bad. School is bad, but not as bad as sometimes, and my mom is helping me get organized and catch up with stuff. So that's cool. Thanks, Momma!

One last thing (promise...I think...): I made a website for "Creepy Story"!!!!!! Only guess what??

I HAS A NAME!!!!!!!!!

It's called "The Mirror," which is really awesome because it has a double meaning. Oooh symbolism! Lol! Here's the link:

http://sites.google.com/site/themirrorbook/

And thanks to Kyle Hendricks for telling me about how to make a website. I'm doing kind of the same stuff you are right now with the character bios and everything, but I promise I won't copy for long :)

We're Closing!

Guess what? We're closing on the House on the 27th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We'll probably move the 28th! Wow! It feels so much more real now. And kind of sad. I love the new house, and I hate this one (lol), but I'm really going to miss the yard. Maybe that's crazy, but I just really love our yard. I have so many memories in it. And it's HUGE! Lots of grass, and a little dirt turnaround thing that my sister and I used to play prairie in and stuff :) There are cool trees, and little trails in our woods, and a fire ring, and an awesome weeping willow tree and the view from my window is AMAZING. I just don't want to leave the yard!

I like the yard in the new neighborhood though. It's nice, but not so friendly. More...I don't know...perfect. Lol, you know? Hmm...

At any rate, we're closing on the house, and I'm super excited! I hope the move is smooth. I don't want it to be this long, drawn-out, super stressful ordeal, you know? Oh well. We're finally moving. Yay!

WHAM.

Okay, so I'm just writing my story--the writer's bock is gone--and I'm acutally getting somewhere, okay? So, I'm writing and writing, and then WHAM. I don't know what happened. Just all the sudden, I couldn't for the life of me figure out a single word to put down next. I lost touch with my characters. They're always in the back of my mind. I can feel them there, sometimes I ignore them, but I can feel their presence like they're all inside of me. But then suddenly it was like I hit a physical wall. They were gone. I couldn't connect with them or feel them or hear them or anything. I was completely stuck in the most abrupt way I've ever experienced. I've had writer's block before, you all know that, but it's never come on like that. Just...so fast and so tangibly. It was really weird, and now I can't write! It's so annoying! And sad. I was really going somewhere. I have over 46,000 words now. And I can't feel my characters anymore. It's the weirdest feeling...Almost, well, scary. I feel strangly lonely. I've never had writer's block like this. It's the worst feeling in the world (okay, maybe not, but it's no fun, that's for sure!).

*SIGH* Couldn't my life be perfect for just one day? Just once could I have a day where I could write, feel good, get all my schoolwork done well, and have the sun shine, too (it's raining)?

Guess not.

P.S. I'm gonna start putting pictures in my posts. Just for the heck of it. And I can't write, so what else am I gonna do? :-/

I'm sick but I loved "The Glass Menagerie" :)

I'm sick. Stuffy nose, runny nose, lots of sneezing, I'm always cold, always tired...yeah. It sucks :( But, life goes on. :)

I'm hoping to get in a few thousand words of "Creepy" done today...Don't know how much luck I'll have when I don't feel that great. Paige will probably come down with a terrible fever or something. Hmm...not actually a bad idea. :D Anyway, I sent my story to Ellie yesterday and she read it and said she loved it. Maybe it's not as bad as I was afraid of. Ellie is extremely honest, so I know if she liked it all right, it can't be THAT bad :) We did discover some irrigularities and things that aren't quite plausible. I'll need to go back and rework those, but over all, I don't feel as bad about what I've done.

In school, we just read the book "The Glass Menagerie." I loved it! It has lots of good symbolism, and the story is also very funny and easy (for me at least) to relate to. It's a memory play. In other words, it is the way the narrator, Tom, remembers and perceives various events. The book, which is actually a play, centers around the small Wingfield family: the mother, Amanda, and young adult children Laura and Tom. They all have very different personalities, which makes for an interesting family life. Amanda is determined to make sure that Laura, who is shy to a debilitating degree, has a good future. Amanda uses Tom’s income to insure that, which makes Tom justifiably bitter. He feels obligated to take care of his family, but really wants to leave his small life and seek out adventure, or write poetry. He only sticks around because he feels his duty to his family and he doesn't want to be like his father, who ran out on the family.

The play is pretty short and it was easy to read. I love the symbolism of the glass menagerie, which is Laura's collection of little glass animal figurines. She tends to them all day, keeping them clean and arranged the way she likes them. This symbolizes the fragile little world she likes to live in instead of facing reality. There is a lot more symbolism in the glass menagerie than what I just said, but I don't want to spoil everything. The play has a very good, although highly unexpected ending. (If you find it to read it, DON'T READ THE BACK OF IT FIRST. It gives away everything. I did not read the back, and enjoyed the book. When I read the back after I was finished, I was VERY glad I hadn't read it beforehand.)

Yeah, well, that's pretty much all I can think of for now. School went well today. It was pretty fun. A guy in my class sprained his ankle after school playing basketball in the parking lot, so that's too bad :( But other than that, nothing particularly interesting happened.

Hope I can get some "Creepy" written!! Come on, creativity! I need ya! :) TTYL!