Where Did I Go?

Hey :)

Well, I'm back. I mean, I'm still being this weird, happy person, but I'm feeling a little more like myself, too XD

My writing style has gone extremely south lately. I used to be fun to read, I think. I used to say things in creative ways that would make me chuckle. I used to feel like words were my best weapon, my own little minions to express exactly what I wished.

I don't feel that way anymore, and it really bothers me.

What happened to the girl who said at least mildly interesting things like:

"School is killing me. Or more like hacking me to death with a bloody ax." (October 11: "...Hi."

and

"FIRST AND A HALF (because 'second' sounds too late)!" (September 8: Imagination and Irritation)

and

"Just keep me in your thoughts...and hopefully tonight will keep itself in my thoughts, too..." (August 15: My Life, the Psycho Mystery Story?!)

What happened to the girl who said she liked the moon better than the sun?
What happened to the girl who found out that blue inspired creativity and thus painted her room that color?
What happened to the girl who convinced her grandpa that she drank lemon juice for snack?
What happened to the girl who planned to read "Paradise Lost" over Christmas break?

~~~~~~~
Hours later:

Whatever. I'm too tired to work on this any more. And it's not even yesterday anymore. It's 12:02. So, I missed Friday anyway. Fail.

*sigh* Sorry. Never mind.

~Kendra

Today. And Tomorrow.

So, hi :) I don't have any more character introductions ready just yet, so today is going to be a plain post. A not-too-long plain post :)

Today I was tired. (Four hours of sleep.)
Today I was nervous. (Ill-prepared debate.)
Today I was freaked out. (Big, black grasshopper dissection.)
Today I was pained. (Headaches suck.)

Today I giggled. (My short hair makes for cute pigtails XD)
Today I wore my coat ALL DAY. (Just a cold-natured person.)
Today I answered useless Facebook questions. (Boredom.)
Today I poked a grasshopper's stomach. (Dissection.)

Today I plan to write. (Ashlyn's story.)
Today I plan to read. ("Intertwined" by Gena Showalter.)
Today I plan to watch Alias. (Sark <3)
Today I plan to go to bed early. (Four hours of sleep.)

Today I didn't make my bed. (Shh!!)
Today I didn't doodle in math. (I'm trying to try, LOL XD)
Today I didn't remember to print two copies of my school assignment. (Fail D:)
Today I didn't straighten my hair. (Too tired. And pigtails.)

Tomorrow I will do my best in school. (Because I should.)
Tomorrow I will go to dance. (Because I love it.)
Tomorrow I will text Cavender. ('Cuz I do.)
Tomorrow I will wash my clothes. ('Cuz I need to. Rly bad.)

~Kendra

Just T-Hair-ibble

I got a haircut yesterday. To explain to you how I feel, I'm going to use a quote from Simon of the "Mortal Instruments" trilogy:

"I don't like flat soda. I don't like crappy boy-band pop. I hate [my hair]. See the difference?"

I've regretted haircuts before, but never like this, never on the almost-eve of my sixteenth birthday. You know how my hair normally looks after I get it cut? I like it. I think it looks good. Well, I hate this. I hate it. Go read that quote again.

What the HECK was I thinking asking the haircut-lady to go shorter? If it ain't broke, don't freaking fix it, Kendra! Why-o-why!! I'm about to be sixteen, and I now look like I'm ten.

Ten.
TEN.

I really do.

Gosh, could this be any more exactly the opposite of what I want? I hate my hair. So much. I'm so upset >.<

It's completely my fault and everything, the lady did exactly what I asked her to. It's all my fault, and I look terrible.

I.

Look.

Ten.

*sob* Awwwwwwwwww >.<

Ellie, please call me next time I'm about to get a haircut and remind me not to go too short. We usually do that for each other, and I don't do it one time, and look at what happened? Goshhhhh.

Yeah, I know, it'll grow. It will. But not before Sunday. Not before I have pictures taken of my on my Sweet 16 looking like I should be in elementary school.

:(

Ugh. I am seriously quite depressed about this.

Advice Day

Ready for my supreme knowledge?

"Don't get behind in math." ~Kendra Logan

-_- It will kill you dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway. Today was...extremely unproductive and just generally cruddy, but then at the same time it was fun... I messed around most of the day, then did math.

I was woefully behind. I mean, I had been keeping up with the work, but not with the understanding. I'm terrible at math. I'm in algebra 1 AGAIN -_- I don't ever seem to understand even the simplest things. Thanks to Cavender and Kyle for trying to help. Ish XD My mom and dad did eventually clear things up for me.

Then, my ulcer started getting worse. Um, AGAIN. I've been battle the stupid mouth-blister for a week now. It's a literal pain to eat, a literal pain to smile, a literal pain to laugh, talk, and all the other things I do a lot (apparently).

Also, I found out ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE news about my driver's ed certificate. We'd been calling the department of Non-Public Education to send me a form I need to get my permit. We've called four times, and they still haven't sent my form. Well, today my dad finally got a hold of a non-machine person and guess what?

We apparently aren't in the records. And to get your permit form mailed to you, that means your school has to have been set up for at least six months. Know what that means?

I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET MY PERMIT UNTIL I'M AT LEAST SIXTEEN AND A HALF. AND THEN I CAN'T GET MY LICENSE TILL A YEAR AFTER THAT. I WILL BE SEVENTEEN AND A FREAKING HALF BY THE TIME I GET A LICENSE.

Does that suck or what?

Yeah. It sucks.

But then, on the other hand, I've had so much fun with my friends today (all online, LOL), that today really wasn't bad at all. Weird, huh? Well, I mean, I guess not really...

Okay, my thoughts are very scattered today/right now. I guess I'll leave you now :)

Advice Day

"Honesty can be a good thing, but so can discretion." ~Your very own Kendrabelle

Be nice. Being honest can be a great personality trait, but not when you use it as an excuse to blurt out your hurtful thoughts.

That's all I have time to say for now, I'm writing. LOL, sort of. I ended up not really liking what I had going for the Write-a-Thon, so I've started something else...and I only have 496 words so far :-|

*headdesk* Ergh.

Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth...

Hell, or biology final tomorrow?

Take a wild guess.

Note: "Same thing" will also be an accepted answer.

50 Word Friday: Bad Day

It might be funny.
It might be wise.
A comment about living,
Or someone’s demise.

It might be scary.
Or even something gross.
Maybe something personal
Or something quite morose.

My posts are typically long;
Your eyes soon float away.
So once a week for you,
There’s 50 WORD FRIDAY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know those days when school work won't die, your dad makes plans for you, you're forced to go out when you'd rather stay in, your hair looks like crap, and you’ve got a headache?

Well, it's been one of those days.

But, hey, at least I was PRODUCTIVE.

*grumbles*

What a God Moment :)

I had in mind a hundred different things to post on. Today has not been one of those days where I can't think of anything to say. I've had lots of ideas that cover lots of different angles, but when I came downstairs and checked my email just now, I knew what to post on.

I just had such a God moment.

Ellie B slept over last night, and we talked about a lot of deep things--as usual--but one thing in particular has been bothering me. We used to have this amazing friend a few years ago. She's still a friend of ours, but different things happened and we've kind of fallen apart. We talked about her a lot, and came to the conclusion that everything was over. As much as we hated to think it, we figured the friendship was pretty much dead.

And you guys know how my week has been, right? Just one thing after another, everything sucked. School, family, emotions, the "personal junk" I asked for prayer about, everything.

It wasn't one of those "mad at God times", just more of a completely discouraged feeling that's been hanging over my head. The talk about the fallen friendship was just the icing on the crap cake (lol).

I came down here to blog and see if I could write anything. I saw I had a message in my inbox. I shrugged and clicked on the message.

It was from the "lost" friend. She apologized for the randomness, but said she felt like something was up and wanted to see if everything was cool with us.

I don't know about you, but that was one of the biggest WOW and GOD moments of my life, and definitely of the past few weeks.

I haven't talked to this friend really in three months. Ellie B hasn't talked to this friend for real in a long time. And all the sudden, God laid on this friend's heart the fact that something wasn't quite right.

Well, guess what? I sent a message back explaining my feelings and why the different circumstances bothered me. I read and re-read the message several times, making sure my tone was how I intended it to be (it's so hard to communicate tone in emails; you really have to be careful). I think we can work this out.

Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about this until JUST NOW. Guess what our youth group study was on today?

Friendships.

Wow. I rarely get this excited about God stuff like this. As bad as that is, God really has to HIT ME WITH IT for me to get it. Boy, he really did today. I'm just smiling. Can you even believe how awesome God is?? Without me even noticing it, God shaped this whole day--and last night, too--preparing me for that email. I thought my friend was lost to me forever, but guess what? ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!

He's not an ancient force that stopped interacting when the Bible was finished.

God is here, God is now, and God is doing things in our lives NOW.

Wow.

What an interested, alive, personal God.

[Insert Title Here]

Advice Day!

"Having fun is easy; it's knowing when to stop that's hard." ~Kendra Logan
-----------------------------
Well, today kind of sucked. But it's better now, so I'm going to focus on the positive. I finished writing the 1AC for debate, which was great. It had really been weighing down on me, having to worry about getting it done. Now all that's left, I guess, is to see what happens. *sigh*

I really hope I don't lose! That would be sad. Maybe this is petty, but I have never, ever lost a debate in my whole life, and I want that streak to continue for as long as possible, lol! XD

I talked to my Brain Half yesterday, so that made things a little better. We're still in perfect mental sync, lols! Just kidding. Ish.

Tonight I have play practice at 7pm, soccer practice at 8pm, and this PSAT meeting at my house at 7pm...er, hmm...

Yeah, I can't do it all, obviously, which sucks. I tend to attack things with kind of a Superwoman attitude, and then when I can't do it all, I get frustrated with myself. *sigh* Oh well. Tonight, I'm just gonna shoot for play practice. Soccer is nothing different than usual, but play practice is something new and un-missable every time. The PSAT meeting is mostly for parents. So, I guess it's a no-brainer.

Writing has been HAHAHAHA-Writing-That's-A-Good-One lately. I've barely had time to breathe much less write :-/

I'm not in a bad mood right now, but I don't have much to say because everything I've done or thought all day has been purely academic.

And now my mother is pestering me about cleaning up downstairs even though I've said about thirty times in the last five minutes that I'll do it in JUST A SECOND. Geez.

Okay, now I AM in a bad mood -.-

Whatever. So much for today. Do you want me to stop posting for a couple of days until I can stop being so negative?

P.S. I got my signature fixed. Yay.

Awards! And a Crappy Day :(

AWARD DAY! I'm going to give out two awards a week, I think. I want to get to everyone eventually, so this will make it happen quicker, lol!

Well, it's a full moon, and I LOVE the moon, and Moon Shaw has been very comment-y lately, so...

The Moon Award goes to Moon Shaw! :P

And to Crescentise, the Awesome Name Award!Sorry Crescentise's is bigger. There is no reason for that other than the size of the pictures, lol!----------------------------

Hi! Short post today.

My day was crap. How was yours?

Why My Day Was Crap:

1. I felt uneasy for NO REASON.
2. My mother presented me with a giant list of chores.
3. My father got mad at me at the dinner table (with good reason, but the way my day was going, everything was just a million times worse).
4. I offended my mother and now she isn't talking to me.
5. I didn't feel good this afternoon.

And the day started out with such promise! I woke up, it was sunny, I felt great! I even **DID A MATH LESSON EVEN THOUGH IT'S THE WEEKEND AND I WASN'T BEHIND**. Yeah, that's how good it was!

And then it just had to go and roll down hill from there :-/ *sigh*

Well, guess they can't all be winners.

Fact or Fiction and the Timeline from Satan

Fact or Fiction:

The Kentucky Fried Chicken chain changed their name to KFC to eliminate the word "fried" from its title.

As usual, comment or email me your answer, and NO GOOGLING :)
-------------------------
Well, today was just lovely.

NOT.

School was going moderately fine until about 2:45 when I started to work on my hateful timeline for Art History. To keep it short, I'll just explain it as the most horrendously tedious, mind-numbingly frustrating, stress-inducing school activity ever conceived by man (or in this case, woman :P).

AND it has to be done on the computer, which triples the liklihood of getting a monsterous headache (I did).

I had three pages worth of dates to enter into this timeline. I have to copy and paste the timeline onto a word document, change all the dates on the line to suit what I need it to, copy and past the little labels and stick them to the right date.

To give you an idea of how long it takes to do this, I'll tell you that it took me 53 minutes to enter in half a page's worth of dates.

I saved the document and decided I'd finish later.

That wasn't good enough for my mother, however, she said I had to finish the other two and a half pages NOW, and she wanted to see what I had done so far (I don't think she believed me that I had worked on it at all :( ).

Grumbling to myself, I pulled up the hateful timeline.

Er, tried to.

The thing is, it wasn't there.

None of it. At all. Nothing. Nowhere.

My timeline had somehow gotten deleted, or at any rate, not saved even though I specifically clicked SAVE a million times!

SO, I had to start ALL OVER and do the WHOLE THING which took me a grand total of THREE HOURS of insanely tedious, mind-numblingly frustrating, stressful WORK.

I almost cried. But I didn't.

So, that was my day.

How was yours? >:E

No play practice tonight :'( I'm sad about that. I really, really, REALLY like it. I thought at first it was going to just stress me out, but it actually is KEEPING me from being stressed. It's a great way to relax and have fun after a horrible day. So, I really wish I had it tonight :(

As for writing...*sigh* I really need to get with it, I know. I don't know what's wrong with me, but then again I never do.

So, blah. Vote on the poll. Answer the Fact or Fiction question. Participate in Followers Say. Ask me a question for Question Day. Get someone to become my 50th follower.

*sigh*

I'm sorry. Today has just turned out to be a heck of a let down. Thanks for cheering me up, though, Cavender :)


P.S. Check out my new bookshelf! It's on the sidebar thing right after the blog archive.

... :(

I'm a Hun.

And I'm in the Ensamble.

CRABBINESS

I'm back! I have so much to say, but I'm too tired and crabby to type everything out. VERY short version:

1. Fun
2. Terrible crew
3. Matt in crew
4. Matt is hilarious
5. Moose
6. Not homesick
7. Horrible Red Shirt Staff
8. Overall yay
9. Lizzy not bad
10. Music
11. Emotional night
12. Lame contest
13. Rude youth group
14. Obnoxious-beyond-all-compare person
15. Retarded-beyond-all-compare person.

Crabby. Tired. Had fun. Won't type all now. Probably will forget everything. Oh well. Deal with it. Bye.

DANG IT.

Okay, something is massively and infuriatingly wrong with Blogger.

I had a whole post written and published, and I went back to add something to it. When I published it again, ALL BUT THE FIRST SENTENCE HAD BEEN DELETED.

Yeah. I'm so mad I feel like crying. I don't even remember what I said! But it was pretty good! And I worked on it for a long freaking time! GAAAAAAAAH!! And the whole thing is just messed up. Like, I can't change the font or anything for some reason.

*grrrr*

Okay, let's see...what did I say...

We're going to watch "The King and I" tonight and I'm excited because it has Yul Brynner (spelling?) in it and I love his accent. I love accents.

And it's still possible that we're gonna go see "Star Trek" tomorrow. Yay.

And my Carpe Noctem thought is:
--------------------------------------
The Problem with Global Warming:

It doesn't exist.

Yeah, you read that right.

Now, before you roll your eyes, say "typical skeptic" and close this window, maybe you want to hear what I have to say?

I'm not an out-and-out skeptic. Not in the usual sense anyway. Yes, I am very skeptical of things until I have looked into them myself, but I DO look into them. I don't just dismiss every theory that sounds unpleasant; I do actually research them first.

I didn't actually challenge the theory of global warming until last semester. I just figured that it was true, or at least mostly true. Well, it's not quite.

Basically, the theory is that if the concentration of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases were to increase too much, the earth would get too warm. (This is what global warming is, obviously, lol!) As civilization has become more industrialized, people have been burning a lot more fuel than they used to. Before the Industrial Revolution, people burned wood and coal to heat houses and businesses, but that was about it. As a result of the Industrial Revolution, however, people are burning coal, wood, natural gas and gasoline in huge quantities to generate electrical power, run manufacturing machinery, etc. As a result, we have been putting a lot more carbon dioxide into the air than we used to.

This is where worries about global warming come from. Carbon dioxide is a participant in the greenhouse effect, which warms the planet. We also know that the amount of carbon dioxide in the air has been rising steadily over the last 80 years or so. Well, increased carbon dioxide means an increased greenhouse effect, which will result in global warming right? Well, not exactly.

Although the fear of global warming IS based on scientific reasoning, it's actually more complex than most people think. If you look at most scientific graphs, you can tell that over the past 80 years, the amount of carbon has risen, then dropped back down to extremely low, where it is today. Every once in a while, the carbon dioxide level in the air seems to rise, but it always drops back down again. Thus, global warming isn't actually a problem at all. It's almost a hoax even.

Many people who talk about global warming discuss the fact that in their area of the world, the winters have been unusually warm over the past few years. They say global warming must be happening. This neglects the fact that the entire world is often quite different from one person's corner of it. While one area of the world might be experiencing unusually warm winters, other parts of the world might be having abnormally cool summers. As a result, the *global* temperature does not change very much, despite what might be happening in one region of it.

It is also common to hear that certain large ice sheets that have been the same size for a long time are now starting to melt. This is then used to conclude that the earth ahs a whole is getting warmer. However, this is not sound scientific reasoning. The fact taht an ice sheet is melting is only evidence that *the part of the world that holds the ice sheet* is warming up. For example, a large ice sheet in the Antarctic Peninsula, the Larsen B ice shelf, has experienced a remarkable decline in size over the past few years. Some say that this is evidence for global warming. The problem is that the west Antarctic ice sheet has been *thickening* over the past few years. Thus, while the Antarctic Peninsula is getting warmer, the western part of the Antarctic is getting cooler. It turns out that temperature measurements of Antarctica indicate that overall, Antarctica has actually been cooling since the 1960's.

But, if you dig hard enough, you CAN find *some* evidence to show the earth is warming up as a whole. For example, land-based temperature measurements do show a slight warming trend, even over the past twenty years. The problem with these data, is that they ignore the 70% of the earth's surface, because they ignore what is happening over the oceans. When the entire globe is measured by satellites, no significant warming trend is seen.

Thus, to believe that global warming is occurring, you are forced to rely on the least reliable data and ignore the most reliable data. That's not good scientific practice.

(By the way, this information came primarily from "Exploring Creation with Physical Science" by Dr. Jay L. Wile.)
-------------------------------
Basically it was that, only better and with a better introduction :'(

And then I complained about wanting to go outside, but hating my new house's yard because it's boring and doesn't feel like home...

Then this is where I said that no one took my Challenge from yesterday, but that it's okay...

Then I said something deep and awesome...

Then I said bye and put my signature like this only probably better:

Bye.


GRR.

Rehearsal Update

I'm home from my rehearsal.

I've been to twelve rehearsals in my life.

This was the WORST EVER.

Terrible. Horrible. No good. Very bad.

The stage is so much smaller than any of us remember, and we are a HUGE class. Like, twenty girls. On a smallish stage. We were constantly running into each other. No one could do well. Disaterous.

I messed up a little in every dance except the tap, which is my favorite, so that was good. The ONLY good thing.

We had four dances in the first half, so that means we have to dance, go back stage and transform ourselves in like five minutes. STRESSFUL MUCH??

THEN THINGS GET WORSE. A LOT WORSE.

Okay, so my mom and Lizzy and I are on the way home, and I'm griping about how bad I did, and asking Lizzy if she saw this really amazing girl with red hair dance (if you're reading this, Meredith, it's you). Then my eyes get all wide and wild as I say in a panicking voice,

"GO BACK! I FORGOT MY MAKE-UP BAG!!"

My mom freaks, we swerve around and start speeding back to the auditorium.

I know. You're thinking, okay, it's a make-up bag. Bad, but not THAT bad. I mean, you'll just have to put your make-up on at the auditorium instead of at home. No real biggie.

Hahahahaha. If only it were that simple.

MY PHONE WAS IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*panicks all over again*

My beautiful red LG shine was in there. Who knows if someone got it?? I need my phone! If someone finds it, they'll be able to steal it and run up charges and do who-knows-what with it! AND the make-up was a pretty significant problem, too, I mean, I love that stuff. But my PHOOOOOOOOOOONE!!

So we race back to the auditorium, my mom lecturing me about why didn't I keep up with it, why did I even bring my phone back there in the first place, etc. etc. I'm not really freaking out TOO badly, because, I mean, we haven't actually been gone from the auditorium for very long. Someone will be there to unlock the door. I can go right in and get my bag, and everything will be fine. It always is.

We pull up in the parking lot and, thank goodness, there are lights on in there. I run as fast as I can to the front door and pull, crossing my fingers.

It's open! Yay!

I run the last few steps to get to the auditorium and yank on the double doors.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's locked. It's locked. It's locked.

EXCUSE ME?

So yeah. I still don't have my make-up, or my phone. I don't know where it is, if someone got it, or if it's still there. I feel like cussing right now. But, of course, I won't. At least I won't type it.

But I'm really stressed, scared, bummed, and...shocked.

Okay, have any of you seen Ferris Beuler's Day Off? If you haven't, it's about a teenage boy who's sort of invincible. He does awesome, crazy, irresponsible things, and everything works out for him. Things just fall into place in the most unbelievable ways.

Not to brag, but that's kind of how things happen for me. Not ALWAYS, but most of the time. I mean, think about the whole tights thing. I was never super stressed out because I figured it would all work out. That's usually the way things happen for me. It's weird and disgusting, but true. Things just work out right.

So, I wasn't really worried when I lost the make-up bag. Sure, it was a pain to turn around, but I knew the doors would be unlocked and my bag would be right where I left it.

Only it wasn't.

Hmm. Weird. And awful. *shrugs thoughtfully* I just really hope it turns up. It will be terrible if it doesn't. Like REALLY, REALLY, YOU-HAVE-NO-IDEA-HOW-BAD terrible.

Hooray for a reality check, right?

*sigh*

OH NO!!!!!

Oh no!

My beautiful custom-colored blue walls!

I was putting this corkboard thing up and the sticky-tabs to hold it in place are super strong, so I tested them on a little place in the corner to make sure it wouldn't wreck the walls. It didn't. So I put the corkboard up. I hated it. So I took it down.

RIP!

THE PAINT COMPLETELY CAME OFF AND LEFT NASTY CARDBOARD STUFF STUCK TO IT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ruined the walls!!!!!!!! The paint was custom made!!!!!!! We can just repaint it! And even if we could, you would see strokes all over the spot!!!!! I've ruined my beautiful walls! My perfect room is wrecked!!!

Oh, I'm so sad and upset :'(

Hate and Anger

What started out as the best evening ever just ended horribly.

I don't want to talk about it. I'm so angry I can't type straight, think straight, speak straight, or walk straight. Sometimes, I really hate my family.

*stares at screen...raises an eyebrow...and types this*

Sorry for that really depressing, complaining post last night. I just felt really bad. I'm a little better today.

Oh, but more bad news :( You know how I wanted to have my party on FEBRUARY 13th since that was a Friday the 13th? And then we didn't move so I couldn't? But then we moved and there was a MARCH Friday the 13th? So I was gonna do it then? (Sorry. Like, everything's a question...) Well, now I'm not having it this Friday the 13th either. Because some people couldn't/can't come. :( It sucks, right? *sigh*

School starts back up today. Hmmm. Ugh. Debate (gahhhh!), physical science (*sob*), literature (yay!), Latin (*MOAN*), philosophy (give me that philosophy book!!), math (help me), american government (so...?). AHHHH! I hate this. Summer can't come fast enough. Debate is killing me. And not only me, my partner as well!! It's not fair of me. I MUST DO BETTER RESEARCH. Math...ehh. I'll get it eventually. You know. Before I die anyway. Physical science is kind of like the nightmare that never ends. Latin is about the same as physci.

I know, I know. Shut up, stop complaining, close the blogging window, AND GET THE HECK TO WORK. Okay. I will.

Bye!

And maybe this is cheesy, and I don't know what your thoughts are about God or anything, but pray for me to do my work well today. I always go into it thinking I'm gonna do amazing today, but I always...don't. Or rarely do. I know I can do really well! I just don't. So, pray for me, y'all!

Good News, Bad News

Good news: finally have "Colors of the Wind" out of my head.
Bad news: now I have a Hilary Duff song stuck in my head and she seriously irritates me.
Good news: next to no driver's ed work this week.
Bad news: still stuck-ish in Creepy.
Good news: It's supposed to snow tonight.
Bad news: I highly doubt it will.

Other than that, not much has been going on. Creepy is really bugging me though. I can't get going. I honestly feel like the last...46 pages are crap. I lost my touch, the plot isn't tight, it's boring, I hate it, AHHH! No idea what to do. I have an ending (sort of...maybe...), but that isn't even any consolation.

I really am sorry that I'm being so grumpy and gloomy lately. But I have to complain somewhere. I haven't been writing in my journal lately, so I need to say it somewhere:

1. I lost $11.99 because SOMEONE, who shall remain nameless, turned off the computer while I was downloading an album off iTunes. (If you're reading this, SOMEONE, I'm not mad. I'm just saying all the stuff that's gone wrong this week.)
2. I've been cold for over 48 hours straight. Or at least I was. I'm okay now.
3. Creepy sucks.
4. I have a stupid Hilary Duff song in my head and it WON'T GO AWAY. I liked "Colors of the Wind" better than this!!
5. Haven't started my huge philosophy project yet, and I don't want to do the idea I chose but I'm stuck with it now and if it bombs it's going to be really embarrassing because of the type of project.
6. Something that I don't feel like telling the whole world.
7. My computer is being a total piece of freaking CRAP lately. Half the time the internet won't load AT ALL, and the other half it won't load fast AT ALL.
8. Writer's block.
9. Journal block.
10. Haven't heard from Shur'tugal people and it's really starting to annoy me.

Okay, sorry. Just venting. You don't have to say you're sorry for me if you don't want to. I know I've been moping a lot lately and y'all's suggestions really helped me :) Thanks, y'all! You rock! I promise I'll get cheerier soon (ish...). Especially after we move.

OHHHHHHH!! I didn't tell you the best news I don't think! We get to move this weekend! We had thought it might be months, but we'll move this weekend! Yay!! :) :) :) :) :)

Oh! And happy March, everyone! :)

Warning: Don't read if you have a history of depression.

My house is the black hole of depression. THE BLACK HOLE. My whole family is upset and so freaking stressed. You don't know. You can't know. My mom is crying, my dad looks so defeated, my sister avoids us, I can't even breathe I'm so...something. We've put everything on the line, and things just...fell apart. We can't move in, our house is in chaos, we don't know when we'll be able to move. We can't live like this. My parents have to work, my sister and I have to do school. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, my throat hurts (probably because I'm holding back tears), my everything hurts. Everything is dark. Nothing has color right now. This is a bleak, depressing, probably-melodramatic post, but it's how I'm feeling. I can't even write Creepy. I have so much driver's ed homework to do it isn't even funny.

Life sucks. And then you die.

Carpe diem?


P.S. I just had an interesting idea: I should have a blog called Carpe Noctem...hmm...