I watched "The Godfather" today. I've just been feeling in the mood to watch it lately. Maybe it was the references in "You've Got Mail." I dunno.
For those of you who don't know, it's a movie about gangs, basically. But at the same time, that is SO NOT what it's about. It's about family. It's about loyalty, honor and justice. The kind of loyalty those people stick to is incredible, and admirable. You stick up for you family, pay your debts, keep your promises and treat each other with respect. (There is a certain "or else" feeling to it, but that's beside the point XD)
Gangs are bad. I know. Killing is bad. Yes. Blackmail is wrong. It is. But if friends and family could show each other the same loyalty required in the Corleone family...wow. It would be incredible. You'd always have someone to go to, someone to talk to, someone to take your side. You'd never be alone.
"The Godfather" is one of my favorite movies. It's intense, it's a little violent (okay, so it's rated R), and calling it "lighthearted" would be about as accurate as calling Edward and Bella's relationship "healthy," but I love it. I really love it. It fills me with a fierce loyalty for my family, a passion for justice, and a will to plan carefully (along with an overwhelming desire for brothers, of course).
The point is, I think "The Godfather" is definitely a movie to see, so long as you can handle it, and the basic principles are ones that we can all draw from.
~Kendra
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Resolution
Happy Second Day of Twenty-Eleven! How was your first day? Did you notice the date?
1.1.11
I thought that was pretty sweet, but then again, I'm easily amused.
This year, I have a lot of little resolutions, but in general, my goal is very simple (and not particularly original): be myself.
I go through ups and downs in "being myself." 2010 was not an especially good year for being myself. It's not that I lied or was fake or tried to be someone I wasn't, it's just that...I was being the wrong parts of myself and not looking at the big picture.
Of course, 2010 was also just a growing year. I might not have been completely myself, but I did a lot of experimenting and learning and stretching. I learned what works for me and what I'm like and where my limits are.
You know, when I think about like this, 2010 really wasn't that bad. I'm not upset to say goodbye, but it actually wasn't a bad year. I had lots of Firsts (and several Onlys) and discovered that I love eyeliner, hate chemistry and can, in fact, tolerate guys screaming in movies (which will come in handy with the Harry Potter movies, I think).
Long story short, while I wasn't as successful at being ME in 2010, I did make a lot of discoveries about who I am that should help me become more the person God wants me to be in 2011 :)
More on that later.
~Kendra
Saturday, November 6, 2010
How Well Do You Know Me?
Y'all have really good ideas for the 500 post celebration! I'm definitely gonna use those...If you have more, comment! :D
So, I made this quiz on Facebook, but it looks like it got messed up -_- I tried the link, and it's wrong...Or something. 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
So, at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I'm going to post it here XD If you feel like taking it, leave a comment :) I'll let you know how you did. It's pretty hard, so I won't be offended if you get a lot incorrect, haha XD
1) What was the first Linkin Park song I ever heard?
a. In the End
b. Papercut
c. New Divide
d. Breaking the Habit
2) What's something unusual that I like?
a. Nightmares
b. Hiccups
c. Brussel sprouts
d. Ruffles
3) Who are my two favorite presidents?
a. Washington and Reagan
b. Jefferson and Lincoln
c. Washington and Lincoln
d. Jefferson and Reagan
4) What upsets me the most?
a. Being lied to
b. People being late
c. People spreading rumors
d. Getting a bad grade
5) Where do I want to go to college?
a. Wake Forest
b. William and Mary
c. Somewhere in Florida!
d. Highpoint
6) What have I written the most of (completed)?
a. Stories
b. Short stories
c. Poems
d. Songs
7) If I were going to dye my hair, what color would I dye it?
a. Black
b. I'd try blonde, but it probably wouldn't work.
c. I'd get highlights.
d. Reddish brown
8) What's my favorite sport to watch?
a. Soccer
b. Basketball
c. Football
d. Tennis
9) What is my hair like naturally?
a. It's basically straight.
b. Wavy, neither curly or straight. Ugh.
c. Curly -_-
d. Frizzy.
I had ten questions on the Facebook one, but now I can't remember them all! Oh well XD
~Kendra
So, I made this quiz on Facebook, but it looks like it got messed up -_- I tried the link, and it's wrong...Or something. 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
So, at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I'm going to post it here XD If you feel like taking it, leave a comment :) I'll let you know how you did. It's pretty hard, so I won't be offended if you get a lot incorrect, haha XD
1) What was the first Linkin Park song I ever heard?
a. In the End
b. Papercut
c. New Divide
d. Breaking the Habit
2) What's something unusual that I like?
a. Nightmares
b. Hiccups
c. Brussel sprouts
d. Ruffles
3) Who are my two favorite presidents?
a. Washington and Reagan
b. Jefferson and Lincoln
c. Washington and Lincoln
d. Jefferson and Reagan
4) What upsets me the most?
a. Being lied to
b. People being late
c. People spreading rumors
d. Getting a bad grade
5) Where do I want to go to college?
a. Wake Forest
b. William and Mary
c. Somewhere in Florida!
d. Highpoint
6) What have I written the most of (completed)?
a. Stories
b. Short stories
c. Poems
d. Songs
7) If I were going to dye my hair, what color would I dye it?
a. Black
b. I'd try blonde, but it probably wouldn't work.
c. I'd get highlights.
d. Reddish brown
8) What's my favorite sport to watch?
a. Soccer
b. Basketball
c. Football
d. Tennis
9) What is my hair like naturally?
a. It's basically straight.
b. Wavy, neither curly or straight. Ugh.
c. Curly -_-
d. Frizzy.
I had ten questions on the Facebook one, but now I can't remember them all! Oh well XD
~Kendra
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Aaron Asked...
We all know what my hair looked like straightened and unstraightened before, but...what the heck does it look like now?
I was just as curious as KnightWing (who needs to post more TJ just btw :P), so when I took a shower for the first time after my haircut, I took a couple of pictures for you XD
As it's drying...
The poofy finished product! XD
I foresee much straightening in my future! Lols XD
~Kendra
I was just as curious as KnightWing (who needs to post more TJ just btw :P), so when I took a shower for the first time after my haircut, I took a couple of pictures for you XD
First out of the shower...
As it's drying...
The poofy finished product! XD
I foresee much straightening in my future! Lols XD~Kendra
Friday, July 23, 2010
To Pierce or Not to Pierce
That is the question. I'm searching the depths of this cosmic world for the answer.
AKA, my internet buddies XD
As of now, this is what my ears look like:
Plain. Unimpaled. Virgin. Unscathed. Whole.
See also "unpierced".
Thus we come to the deep, philosophical question I'm struggling with: Should I pierce them or not?
So far I've left them untouched because I don't think piercing them is worth it. It's girly, I'm not. It involves jewelry, something I don't even wear. It would be a hassle, and if I don't even care, why bother? It's just something extra to keep track of and remember (and clean twice daily for four-to-six-weeks).
My 13-year-old sister Lizzy votes to pierce them. Actually, she votes "PLEEEEEASE DO IT! DOITDOITDOIT, JUST DOIT." I vote "Ehhhh....I dunno."
I sort of feel like I might as well, to open up the option of earrings if I ever wanted them. If I end up hating the hassle, I can always just keep some plain studs in and forget about it. Or let the wholes grow over. But then again, if I'm going to end up not caring/hating it, why do it in the first place?
So you see my dilemma. Assistance would be greatly appreciated XD What are you thoughts? Do you have pierced ears? Do you like them? Do you have "virgin ears"? (XD) Do you like them? Pros of ear-piercing, cons of ear-piercing...Share your thoughts! I've been debating this for months...
~Kendra
AKA, my internet buddies XD
As of now, this is what my ears look like:
Plain. Unimpaled. Virgin. Unscathed. Whole.See also "unpierced".
Thus we come to the deep, philosophical question I'm struggling with: Should I pierce them or not?
So far I've left them untouched because I don't think piercing them is worth it. It's girly, I'm not. It involves jewelry, something I don't even wear. It would be a hassle, and if I don't even care, why bother? It's just something extra to keep track of and remember (and clean twice daily for four-to-six-weeks).
My 13-year-old sister Lizzy votes to pierce them. Actually, she votes "PLEEEEEASE DO IT! DOITDOITDOIT, JUST DOIT." I vote "Ehhhh....I dunno."
I sort of feel like I might as well, to open up the option of earrings if I ever wanted them. If I end up hating the hassle, I can always just keep some plain studs in and forget about it. Or let the wholes grow over. But then again, if I'm going to end up not caring/hating it, why do it in the first place?
So you see my dilemma. Assistance would be greatly appreciated XD What are you thoughts? Do you have pierced ears? Do you like them? Do you have "virgin ears"? (XD) Do you like them? Pros of ear-piercing, cons of ear-piercing...Share your thoughts! I've been debating this for months...
~Kendra
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Enthusiam & AILD
I’ve been crazy this week. Just really pumped about everything, really WILD. Everything I do recently, I get really into. Like right now, I’m really into this music. Like, I can’t even explain it. I’ve always *liked* music, and even lately liked it more, but right now, I love it. I love it so much.As I Lay Dying is blasting through my M&M earbuds at a volume that may do permanent damage, and I could not be happier. I love this. I love this so much. It makes me feel better than good, it makes me feel alive (irony ftw) and happy and pumped and wild.
And like I have to be able to do this.
I need to be able to play guitar like that. I need to be able to scream. And you know what?
Right now, I’m convinced that I could.
Maybe I can, maybe I’m fooling myself. But there’s only one way to find out, right? And I intend to find out.
Our selfishness consumes us
Until the whole world is not enough
Forgive the day that I erased your name
For it's the memory of me that will decay.
~ "Forsaken" by As I Lay Dying
I've seen my world change
And then go back to where it came.
~ "I Never Wanted" by As I Lay Dying
~KeNDra
Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Computer Free Week
I'm back. No computer for a whole week was hard, but kind of nice. I've lost a lot of the desire to be on here a lot. So I probably won't be on a lot anymore. But I thought I'd let you see what I did this week XD At least when I had a camera around.
Captions on the bottom.
I didn't straighten my hair one day. I didn't hate myself with curly hair.
I "invented" a new kind of pigtail. And the flash on my camera turned me into an albino -_-
Ellie came over :D We were sitting around being ourselves, talking about weird things and writing books. Then we were like, "When girls get together like this they always take a ton of pictures of themselves. And make faces. And then put them on Facebook. It's so preppy and annoying...............hehe, let's do that."
Eyebrows.
We tried to take a picture of us and the Jonas Brothers. It didn't really work out.
Good picture.
The endless amusement reflections create.
Ellie and Licky.
Guess which one is me?
My arm.
Sistahs.
I got to babysit on Friday.
Ryan.
Maddie. This cracks me up every time.
Flexible little thing.
Lizzy. We hung out at the lake some.
A huge thunderstorm came up on Sunday. This is from my front porch. The Logan River XD
Daniel was at our house.
And so was Gracie.
And Stacey.
And Meredith :)
A week without the computer was just what I needed :D
Captions on the bottom.
I didn't straighten my hair one day. I didn't hate myself with curly hair.
I "invented" a new kind of pigtail. And the flash on my camera turned me into an albino -_-
Ellie came over :D We were sitting around being ourselves, talking about weird things and writing books. Then we were like, "When girls get together like this they always take a ton of pictures of themselves. And make faces. And then put them on Facebook. It's so preppy and annoying...............
Eyebrows.
We tried to take a picture of us and the Jonas Brothers. It didn't really work out.
Good picture.
The endless amusement reflections create.
Ellie and Licky.
Guess which one is me?
My arm.
Sistahs.
I got to babysit on Friday.
Ryan.
Maddie. This cracks me up every time.
Flexible little thing.
Lizzy. We hung out at the lake some.
A huge thunderstorm came up on Sunday. This is from my front porch. The Logan River XD
Daniel was at our house.
And so was Gracie.
And Stacey.
And Meredith :)A week without the computer was just what I needed :D
Sunday, January 10, 2010
God Day: My Relationship With God
EDIT: You didn't think I was going to let a follower go by without proper recognition, did you?? XD Thank you SO MUCH for following, Libby! Wow, ninety followers. I seriously never (EVER) thought I'd see the day. :O
This is going to be sort of a personal-experience post, so...yeah. LOL, just wanted to say that. This isn't a big revelation or anything, just some stuff that I've been thinking about.
So, I'm not really this amazingly spiritual person. I only pray at night, I never confess my sins individually, I forget to forgive, and reading the Bible is something I do only when I need advice. Mostly, I kind of suck. Mostly, I don't care as much as I should. But lately, that's started to change.
I don't know what happened, or when, but I can almost feel God pulling me. He doesn't seem so far anymore, even though I've only just started to try in our relationship.
I have a really weird relationship with God, okay? It's not your normal "weird" relationship either. It's not that cliche sometimes-he-feels-so-far relationship, or that I-don't-understand-how-he-could-love-me one. My relationship with God is just really on and off. Like a switch.
There will be weeks at a time where I cuss in my head all the time, snap at my sister, roll my eyes at my mom, read things I shouldn't, and don't do my school work.
Then, the next day, I'll decide to pray, and immediately, God and I are great again. I can feel him with me, I get stuff out of the Bible, he gives me good ideas, he makes me laugh.
What. The. Heck.
I know, right? I don't get it either.
Here's the other thing that I'm almost afraid to admit for fear of sounding self-righteous:
I don't have a problem hearing God's "voice".
*bites lip* Do you hate me now? I hope you don't think I'm bragging, because I really don't want to come across that way. I just...well, whenever I pray sincerely, God answers me.
Now, this is advice I'm talking about. It's not like God just dumps piles of hundred-dollar bills under my bed or magically gives me that older brother. It's just that whenever I pray to God to help me understand something or show me what to do, he...well, he does. And it's really, really nice
This time around, I want to make a conscious effort to stay close to God. None of this floating away, I want to have this all the time. I've been praying about something for a few weeks now, and today God revealed to me what to do, clear as day. I know what to do, but I think it might be...hard.
*gasp*
What?? God's challenging me?? XD
One thing our youth leaders always tell us that I think I'm learning more and more:
Be careful what you ask God, because he'll show you, and you better be ready.
What's God asking you to do? Whatcha waiting for? Go carpe your diem and ask him.
This is going to be sort of a personal-experience post, so...yeah. LOL, just wanted to say that. This isn't a big revelation or anything, just some stuff that I've been thinking about.
So, I'm not really this amazingly spiritual person. I only pray at night, I never confess my sins individually, I forget to forgive, and reading the Bible is something I do only when I need advice. Mostly, I kind of suck. Mostly, I don't care as much as I should. But lately, that's started to change.
I don't know what happened, or when, but I can almost feel God pulling me. He doesn't seem so far anymore, even though I've only just started to try in our relationship.
I have a really weird relationship with God, okay? It's not your normal "weird" relationship either. It's not that cliche sometimes-he-feels-so-far relationship, or that I-don't-understand-how-he-could-love-me one. My relationship with God is just really on and off. Like a switch.
There will be weeks at a time where I cuss in my head all the time, snap at my sister, roll my eyes at my mom, read things I shouldn't, and don't do my school work.
Then, the next day, I'll decide to pray, and immediately, God and I are great again. I can feel him with me, I get stuff out of the Bible, he gives me good ideas, he makes me laugh.
What. The. Heck.
I know, right? I don't get it either.
Here's the other thing that I'm almost afraid to admit for fear of sounding self-righteous:
I don't have a problem hearing God's "voice".
*bites lip* Do you hate me now? I hope you don't think I'm bragging, because I really don't want to come across that way. I just...well, whenever I pray sincerely, God answers me.
Now, this is advice I'm talking about. It's not like God just dumps piles of hundred-dollar bills under my bed or magically gives me that older brother. It's just that whenever I pray to God to help me understand something or show me what to do, he...well, he does. And it's really, really nice
This time around, I want to make a conscious effort to stay close to God. None of this floating away, I want to have this all the time. I've been praying about something for a few weeks now, and today God revealed to me what to do, clear as day. I know what to do, but I think it might be...hard.
*gasp*
What?? God's challenging me?? XD
One thing our youth leaders always tell us that I think I'm learning more and more:
Be careful what you ask God, because he'll show you, and you better be ready.
What's God asking you to do? Whatcha waiting for? Go carpe your diem and ask him.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
My Fail At Being Photogenic (the night of my haircut)
***WARNING: HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS. FOR THE CHRISTMAS POST, SEE PREVIOUS POST. ALSO, SORRY FOR POSTING TWICE IN A DAY.***
So, basically: Lizzy's camera + new hair + late at night = crazy pictures!
I'm also really annoyed by those popular girls who sit around all day taking "bad" pictures of themselves when they couldn't look bad if they'd been run through a meat-grinder. I never felt like I had whatever it is that makes them look good even when they're not trying. *sigh* Ah well. New hair did help some. I guess. *raises eyebrow*
Hopefully you won't stare at these and dump me in the category of Vain-Popular-Princess, because I'm not. I don't think...I hope I'm not...
*shakes head*
It's late (well, after midnight at any rate), I'm tired, I can't think straight.
SO, without further ado, I present you, the epic fail called "My Fail At Being Photogenic" :)
Cheesy smile...
This one was an accident, but I figured you should be allowed to see me at my weirdest, too :P
*Blink* A little distant...
Get some Spock eyebrow goin' on...
Future in modeling: Greatest Failure in History XD
Don't judge me :P Just kidding.
Lol, the real me... :)
So, basically: Lizzy's camera + new hair + late at night = crazy pictures!
I'm also really annoyed by those popular girls who sit around all day taking "bad" pictures of themselves when they couldn't look bad if they'd been run through a meat-grinder. I never felt like I had whatever it is that makes them look good even when they're not trying. *sigh* Ah well. New hair did help some. I guess. *raises eyebrow*
Hopefully you won't stare at these and dump me in the category of Vain-Popular-Princess, because I'm not. I don't think...I hope I'm not...
*shakes head*
It's late (well, after midnight at any rate), I'm tired, I can't think straight.
SO, without further ado, I present you, the epic fail called "My Fail At Being Photogenic" :)
Cheesy smile...
This one was an accident, but I figured you should be allowed to see me at my weirdest, too :P
*Blink* A little distant...
Get some Spock eyebrow goin' on...
Future in modeling: Greatest Failure in History XD
Don't judge me :P Just kidding.
Lol, the real me... :)
Friday, November 27, 2009
(INSERT STRONG ADJECTIVE) DREAM. READ.
I know it's "50 Word Friday", but I...it's a holiday? Lol, I gotta say more than 50 words.
But I'll put the poem, of course :)
(count 'em, it's 50 words XD)
Basically, I woke up from a HORRIBLE dream, went shopping with my cousins, ate potato soup, and watched a REALLY good movie: "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Wow, that is such a deep and symbolic kid's movie! I was really impressed and I couldn't stop watching. It's definitely a new favorite!! I actually might like it better than my three-year favorite, Aladin...
So, I know you want to hear about my awful dream. No? Well, stop reading right here, then 'cause I'm gonna tell you :P
The dream I'm about to tell you is vivid, thought-provoking, personal and other stuff. I'd love it if you read it, it's something I felt like sharing.
Some of you may know that I love nightmares. The thrill, the excitement, the ability to have terrifying, near-death experiences and wake up perfectly safe! I love it!
I did not love this nightmare.
It incorporated everything I'm afraid of, and some things I didn't know I feared. You know what I'm most afraid of, right? Forgetting, losing people I love,being helpless and (lol) guys screaming. Imagine a dream with all of that.
You don't have to imagine long because I'm going to tell you.
I don't remember how the dream started, or what led up to the part I remember. I was in a boarding school "ruled" by an evil group of people who were plotting something horrible. At the heart of the evil was a lady. She was a mix between Helga from the Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, Michelle Pfeiffer and that evil lady in the newest Indiana Jones. She was most like the last.
I don't remember, or maybe I never knew, what the "evil thing" was that the school board was planning. I do remember that I began to tell my closest friends that there was danger. I told them about it, and about what we had to do. We formed a secret alliance against the evil school board. Before long, my small circle of girl friends began to include some of my closer guy friends as well. We never did anything, but it felt good to know that I had friends who knew the "truth".
It wasn't long before we were found out. I don't remember how it happened, but I remember the evil lady, let's call her the Queen, discovered me, and only me. She tried to make me tell her who I had confided in. I refused, but she tried to get it out of me through horrible methods that I don't quite remember. I never told her, but she found out somehow anyway.
She shoved me and the other girls into one car and the boys in another and started driving us somewhere. I've never experienced fear like that before. It wasn't a brave fear at all. I can't say that I would have saved my friends if I'd had the chance. I'd had some terrible things happen to me at that point, and heard of even worse. The fear wasn't a feeling, it was something stronger, something in my brain and in my blood. Something that was pounding me, not just lurking in the back of my mind. It was an ever-present terror.
The cars stopped at the edge of a cliff. The Queen got out and went over to the boys' car. That driver got out and they consulted. Then the boys were drug out.
Up until now, I've played it more or less cool. I've at least tried to be calm and witty (think Max from "Maximum Ride") even when I was screaming inside. This was my breaking point. I'm getting chills all over again just thinking about it. I saw the boys, looking scared and...just scared. I knew it was my fault they were here, in trouble, and I also knew I didn't have the courage to do anything. I started crying.
Daniel was suddenly in the car with us, watching me. I knew he was there, but it was almost like he wasn't. I didn't acknowledge him, but it might have been because I was sobbing too hard.
There were five boys that I had gotten in trouble: Josh (the Nice Guy from my class), Ben (the Dare Devil from my class), Taylor (Brain Half), and Taylor's younger brother, Matthew. One of them was put on this catapult thing, and flung off the cliff into the water! I screamed. One after the other, the boys were flung over the cliff and into the water. I was screaming and going crazy. My friends were dying before my eyes, because of ME.
I watched the boys struggling in the water. Then, Taylor suddenly stood up. "Hey, we're on land!" he shouted. He even snickered. The water was only a few feet deep.
The Queen seemed upset at this, and ordered the boys brought back into their car. They would have to be disposed of in some other way.
The Queen got back in our car, and whatever momentary relief I had experienced was gone. She was going to kill us, kill us all, and not by drowning apparently. Something worse. I didn't want to die, but knowing she'd have something incredibly painful in mind made the fear almost suffocating.
"Do you remember your friend Rochelle?" the Queen asked as we drove. (Yeah, you, Rochelle. Freaky, right? *shudder*) Rochelle was a girl that had been at the boarding school with me, one of my closest friends that I had told the "truth" to. I felt my heart stop. Rochelle. Oh my gosh.
I had actually forgotten her. My closest friend, I had forgotten her.
"Yes," I breathed, terrified of where the conversation was going. "I remember her. Wh...what did you do to her?"
The Queen smirked. "I beat her up."
I swallowed hard. "And then you sent her back home?"
The Queen's lip curled. "When I was finished with her, there wasn't enough of her left to send."
My blood ran cold. Being beaten to death. Can you all imagine that? That fate was never on my list of most horrible ways to die until the Queen said that. Beaten to death. Fists pounding you, feet kicking you, maybe even knives used. You're bleeding and hurting, someone striking you over and over in the same places. It's just pain, pain and helplessness wrapped in terror and begging for mercy.
"No!" I cried, leaning up in my seat in the car. "Wh...how are you going to kill me?"
The Queen smiled. "I'm not going to tell you."
Up until that point, I hadn't really thought I would die. I've never been concerned with dying. I've never thought I would until I was ready. I'm part of a story, I always thought.
People don't die in the middle of their own stories.
But they do.
Do you realize how horrible that realization was for me? Like a punch in the stomach, all the sudden death was very real to me. I stopped figuring I'd get saved, I started really contemplating death. I stopped assuming I could talk my way out of things. I stopped hoping.
I know this is going to sound sexist, ESPECIALLY coming from me, but I never, ever thought I could fear a woman that much. I've never been more afraid of anyone or anything in the world than I was of the Queen at that moment. I never thought a woman could scare me. I always thought I could take them out as easy as anything. I'm definitely not a weakling.
But I realized it's not muscle that can be the most frightening, it's power. Muscles are a FORM of power, but it's power that scares us all. We fear those who have more power than we do, more power over US than we do.
That's what fear IS, you guys. It's when something is controlling us more than we are controlling ourselves.
"Please tell me!" I begged of the Queen, clasping my hands. "Please tell me how you're going to kill me!"
The Queen laughed, enjoying my helplessness as she drove us down the road. "I will not tell you."
"Please, I'm begging!" I cried, my eyes wide with fear. "Please, please!"
All the sudden, I attacked. I grabbed her neck and started pressing. I learned in seventh grade that if you rub some artery in a person's neck, they'll pass out. I rubbed hard, but she didn't pass out, she just talked into her watching, calling for back up!
New fear seized me. The Queen was too powerful! Even if I could defeat her, there were more men on the way! I couldn't run from them, and I sure as heck couldn't fight them all off!
I threw my weight against the Queen, wrestling. The car swerved and ran off the road. I was barely harming the Queen at all. The car stopped by the side of the road and the Queen opened the door. I was still grappling with her and we both fell out the door.
I tried everything I could remember. I kicked her in the side, I jabbed at her windpipe, trying to collapse it or something. She laughed. She was laughing at me!
"You get all these silly tricks from the experts," she chuckled. "But we only tell you what we want you to know. None of those self-defense tricks really work."
None of them work? That was all I could take. I stopped fighting. I was completely defeated. There wasn't even a chance of being rescued by some guy friend--I had made darn sure of that, getting them all carted off somewhere else!
I was powerless.
I was defenseless.
I was alone.
And then I woke up.
Deep stuff right there, y'all. I was only a dream, but very helpful in analyzing myself. My deepest fears were pulled to the surface, my reactions in different situations revealed, my courage and wit tested.
I sort of failed.
And I now realize I CAN die. People DO die in the middle of their stories.
Life is not a novel, Kendra. Life is real.
At any rate, every bit as real as Death.
But I'll put the poem, of course :)
It might be funny.
It might be wise.
A comment about living,
Or someone’s demise.
It might be scary. Or even something gross.
Maybe something personal
Or something quite morose.
My posts are typically long;
Your eyes soon float away.
So once a week for you,
here’s 50 WORD FRIDAY
It might be wise.
A comment about living,
Or someone’s demise.
It might be scary. Or even something gross.
Maybe something personal
Or something quite morose.
My posts are typically long;
Your eyes soon float away.
So once a week for you,
here’s 50 WORD FRIDAY
(count 'em, it's 50 words XD)
Basically, I woke up from a HORRIBLE dream, went shopping with my cousins, ate potato soup, and watched a REALLY good movie: "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Wow, that is such a deep and symbolic kid's movie! I was really impressed and I couldn't stop watching. It's definitely a new favorite!! I actually might like it better than my three-year favorite, Aladin...
So, I know you want to hear about my awful dream. No? Well, stop reading right here, then 'cause I'm gonna tell you :P
The dream I'm about to tell you is vivid, thought-provoking, personal and other stuff. I'd love it if you read it, it's something I felt like sharing.
Some of you may know that I love nightmares. The thrill, the excitement, the ability to have terrifying, near-death experiences and wake up perfectly safe! I love it!
I did not love this nightmare.
It incorporated everything I'm afraid of, and some things I didn't know I feared. You know what I'm most afraid of, right? Forgetting, losing people I love,being helpless and (lol) guys screaming. Imagine a dream with all of that.
You don't have to imagine long because I'm going to tell you.
I don't remember how the dream started, or what led up to the part I remember. I was in a boarding school "ruled" by an evil group of people who were plotting something horrible. At the heart of the evil was a lady. She was a mix between Helga from the Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, Michelle Pfeiffer and that evil lady in the newest Indiana Jones. She was most like the last.
I don't remember, or maybe I never knew, what the "evil thing" was that the school board was planning. I do remember that I began to tell my closest friends that there was danger. I told them about it, and about what we had to do. We formed a secret alliance against the evil school board. Before long, my small circle of girl friends began to include some of my closer guy friends as well. We never did anything, but it felt good to know that I had friends who knew the "truth".
It wasn't long before we were found out. I don't remember how it happened, but I remember the evil lady, let's call her the Queen, discovered me, and only me. She tried to make me tell her who I had confided in. I refused, but she tried to get it out of me through horrible methods that I don't quite remember. I never told her, but she found out somehow anyway.
She shoved me and the other girls into one car and the boys in another and started driving us somewhere. I've never experienced fear like that before. It wasn't a brave fear at all. I can't say that I would have saved my friends if I'd had the chance. I'd had some terrible things happen to me at that point, and heard of even worse. The fear wasn't a feeling, it was something stronger, something in my brain and in my blood. Something that was pounding me, not just lurking in the back of my mind. It was an ever-present terror.
The cars stopped at the edge of a cliff. The Queen got out and went over to the boys' car. That driver got out and they consulted. Then the boys were drug out.
Up until now, I've played it more or less cool. I've at least tried to be calm and witty (think Max from "Maximum Ride") even when I was screaming inside. This was my breaking point. I'm getting chills all over again just thinking about it. I saw the boys, looking scared and...just scared. I knew it was my fault they were here, in trouble, and I also knew I didn't have the courage to do anything. I started crying.
Daniel was suddenly in the car with us, watching me. I knew he was there, but it was almost like he wasn't. I didn't acknowledge him, but it might have been because I was sobbing too hard.
There were five boys that I had gotten in trouble: Josh (the Nice Guy from my class), Ben (the Dare Devil from my class), Taylor (Brain Half), and Taylor's younger brother, Matthew. One of them was put on this catapult thing, and flung off the cliff into the water! I screamed. One after the other, the boys were flung over the cliff and into the water. I was screaming and going crazy. My friends were dying before my eyes, because of ME.
I watched the boys struggling in the water. Then, Taylor suddenly stood up. "Hey, we're on land!" he shouted. He even snickered. The water was only a few feet deep.
The Queen seemed upset at this, and ordered the boys brought back into their car. They would have to be disposed of in some other way.
The Queen got back in our car, and whatever momentary relief I had experienced was gone. She was going to kill us, kill us all, and not by drowning apparently. Something worse. I didn't want to die, but knowing she'd have something incredibly painful in mind made the fear almost suffocating.
"Do you remember your friend Rochelle?" the Queen asked as we drove. (Yeah, you, Rochelle. Freaky, right? *shudder*) Rochelle was a girl that had been at the boarding school with me, one of my closest friends that I had told the "truth" to. I felt my heart stop. Rochelle. Oh my gosh.
I had actually forgotten her. My closest friend, I had forgotten her.
"Yes," I breathed, terrified of where the conversation was going. "I remember her. Wh...what did you do to her?"
The Queen smirked. "I beat her up."
I swallowed hard. "And then you sent her back home?"
The Queen's lip curled. "When I was finished with her, there wasn't enough of her left to send."
My blood ran cold. Being beaten to death. Can you all imagine that? That fate was never on my list of most horrible ways to die until the Queen said that. Beaten to death. Fists pounding you, feet kicking you, maybe even knives used. You're bleeding and hurting, someone striking you over and over in the same places. It's just pain, pain and helplessness wrapped in terror and begging for mercy.
"No!" I cried, leaning up in my seat in the car. "Wh...how are you going to kill me?"
The Queen smiled. "I'm not going to tell you."
Up until that point, I hadn't really thought I would die. I've never been concerned with dying. I've never thought I would until I was ready. I'm part of a story, I always thought.
People don't die in the middle of their own stories.
But they do.
Do you realize how horrible that realization was for me? Like a punch in the stomach, all the sudden death was very real to me. I stopped figuring I'd get saved, I started really contemplating death. I stopped assuming I could talk my way out of things. I stopped hoping.
I know this is going to sound sexist, ESPECIALLY coming from me, but I never, ever thought I could fear a woman that much. I've never been more afraid of anyone or anything in the world than I was of the Queen at that moment. I never thought a woman could scare me. I always thought I could take them out as easy as anything. I'm definitely not a weakling.
But I realized it's not muscle that can be the most frightening, it's power. Muscles are a FORM of power, but it's power that scares us all. We fear those who have more power than we do, more power over US than we do.
That's what fear IS, you guys. It's when something is controlling us more than we are controlling ourselves.
"Please tell me!" I begged of the Queen, clasping my hands. "Please tell me how you're going to kill me!"
The Queen laughed, enjoying my helplessness as she drove us down the road. "I will not tell you."
"Please, I'm begging!" I cried, my eyes wide with fear. "Please, please!"
All the sudden, I attacked. I grabbed her neck and started pressing. I learned in seventh grade that if you rub some artery in a person's neck, they'll pass out. I rubbed hard, but she didn't pass out, she just talked into her watching, calling for back up!
New fear seized me. The Queen was too powerful! Even if I could defeat her, there were more men on the way! I couldn't run from them, and I sure as heck couldn't fight them all off!
I threw my weight against the Queen, wrestling. The car swerved and ran off the road. I was barely harming the Queen at all. The car stopped by the side of the road and the Queen opened the door. I was still grappling with her and we both fell out the door.
I tried everything I could remember. I kicked her in the side, I jabbed at her windpipe, trying to collapse it or something. She laughed. She was laughing at me!
"You get all these silly tricks from the experts," she chuckled. "But we only tell you what we want you to know. None of those self-defense tricks really work."
None of them work? That was all I could take. I stopped fighting. I was completely defeated. There wasn't even a chance of being rescued by some guy friend--I had made darn sure of that, getting them all carted off somewhere else!
I was powerless.
I was defenseless.
I was alone.
And then I woke up.
Deep stuff right there, y'all. I was only a dream, but very helpful in analyzing myself. My deepest fears were pulled to the surface, my reactions in different situations revealed, my courage and wit tested.
I sort of failed.
And I now realize I CAN die. People DO die in the middle of their stories.
Life is not a novel, Kendra. Life is real.
At any rate, every bit as real as Death.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Control
Thanks for following, Eruanna!!!
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So, I'm trying to decide if I want to ditch the schedule thing. I dunno. I made a poll about it, so if you want, you can vote about it. For today, at least, I'm going to skip Advice Day and just post something I've been thinking about:
Control.
It might be like this for everyone, but I've been thinking a lot about how I am deep down, what I want deep down, how I feel deep down, and you know what it all comes down to? Control. I like to be in control; I hate it when I am not.
Think about my top three fears. What do I say they are?
#1: Losing people close to me
#2: Disease
#3: Change
What do those three things all revolve around? Me not being in control.
Remember how I said that episode of Alias freaked me out a couple of days ago? Because it was about a creepy insane asylum?
As I laid in bed that night, I tried to figure out why it scared me. (That's another control-freak-y thing about myself. There is a reason for everything, and I have to know what it is.)
I was kind of disgusted with myself. Kendra: not afraid of blood or needles or death or panic, but freaked out by people with mental problems?? Not only is it a bit embarassing, it's mean! I felt horrible as I realized that I didn't want to be around or think about people who were crazy (really crazy, not the fun kind of crazy). It was judgmental and wrong, but the deep-seated terror remained.
I thought about it for a while. Why does that scare me? What about crazy people is so terrifying and unsettling to me? Other people I know don't have a problem with this. I decided to take it one step at a time.
Crazy people are not masters of their own minds. That freaks me out. But why?
Crazy people see, hear, and feel things that are not there, that are not real. Freaky again. But why?
Crazy people see, hear and feel things that I cannot see, hear or feel. Now we're getting somewhere. It bothers me that they experience things that I don't. Why does that bother me?
If I can't see it, I can't stop it. Ah, getting even farther! But what they see doesn't bother me, so why should I care that I can't see it? I'm not this amazing person who only wants to see imaginary things to help the person.
Back to the people not being able to control their own minds. No matter how much I DO NOT see what they see, crazy people still see/hear/feel things that aren't there, and I cannot convince them otherwise. Big AH-HA moment.
What is so terrifying to me about crazy people?
I cannot persuade crazy people.
Yeah. Wow.
I feel like I can usually convince people of what I want, but crazy people don't appeal to reason, to logic. Reason, truth, and logic mean nothing to them. They believe what they see, and I can't see what they see, so I can't use it to persuade them.
Basically, it circles back to Control. I like control. When I'm not in control, I freak out. I can't persuade (control) crazy people, and it scares me.
I can't control when I lose people. That scares me.
I can't control disease. That scares me.
I can't control change. That scares me.
When it all comes down to it, my life is just about control. Either I have it, and I'm using it, or I don't have it, and I'm trying to gain it.
I believe this is why I have such a hard time with my faith. God is in control, not me, and that's hard for me.
What is your life all about? As complex as people are, I'm beginning to think that deep down, we're simpler than I thought.
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So, I'm trying to decide if I want to ditch the schedule thing. I dunno. I made a poll about it, so if you want, you can vote about it. For today, at least, I'm going to skip Advice Day and just post something I've been thinking about:
Control.
It might be like this for everyone, but I've been thinking a lot about how I am deep down, what I want deep down, how I feel deep down, and you know what it all comes down to? Control. I like to be in control; I hate it when I am not.
Think about my top three fears. What do I say they are?
#1: Losing people close to me
#2: Disease
#3: Change
What do those three things all revolve around? Me not being in control.
Remember how I said that episode of Alias freaked me out a couple of days ago? Because it was about a creepy insane asylum?
As I laid in bed that night, I tried to figure out why it scared me. (That's another control-freak-y thing about myself. There is a reason for everything, and I have to know what it is.)
I was kind of disgusted with myself. Kendra: not afraid of blood or needles or death or panic, but freaked out by people with mental problems?? Not only is it a bit embarassing, it's mean! I felt horrible as I realized that I didn't want to be around or think about people who were crazy (really crazy, not the fun kind of crazy). It was judgmental and wrong, but the deep-seated terror remained.
I thought about it for a while. Why does that scare me? What about crazy people is so terrifying and unsettling to me? Other people I know don't have a problem with this. I decided to take it one step at a time.
Crazy people are not masters of their own minds. That freaks me out. But why?
Crazy people see, hear, and feel things that are not there, that are not real. Freaky again. But why?
Crazy people see, hear and feel things that I cannot see, hear or feel. Now we're getting somewhere. It bothers me that they experience things that I don't. Why does that bother me?
If I can't see it, I can't stop it. Ah, getting even farther! But what they see doesn't bother me, so why should I care that I can't see it? I'm not this amazing person who only wants to see imaginary things to help the person.
Back to the people not being able to control their own minds. No matter how much I DO NOT see what they see, crazy people still see/hear/feel things that aren't there, and I cannot convince them otherwise. Big AH-HA moment.
What is so terrifying to me about crazy people?
I cannot persuade crazy people.
Yeah. Wow.
I feel like I can usually convince people of what I want, but crazy people don't appeal to reason, to logic. Reason, truth, and logic mean nothing to them. They believe what they see, and I can't see what they see, so I can't use it to persuade them.
Basically, it circles back to Control. I like control. When I'm not in control, I freak out. I can't persuade (control) crazy people, and it scares me.
I can't control when I lose people. That scares me.
I can't control disease. That scares me.
I can't control change. That scares me.
When it all comes down to it, my life is just about control. Either I have it, and I'm using it, or I don't have it, and I'm trying to gain it.
I believe this is why I have such a hard time with my faith. God is in control, not me, and that's hard for me.
What is your life all about? As complex as people are, I'm beginning to think that deep down, we're simpler than I thought.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Who Am I?
Fact or Fiction?
Eating 2 poppy seed bagels can make you test positive for drugs.
Email. Comment. First correct gets an award. No Googling.
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So, Followers Say is this Saturday! I'm really excited to see what people have to say. I'm thinking this is gonna be an anual thing, and I hope that it will grow every year.
School...I don't know what's wrong with me. Usually, I go through times when I "hate" school, but I never REALLY do. I feel like I'm kind of resenting school right now. It's getting in the way of all the other stuff I like to do. It seems like the assignments are all really tedious and stupid. I don't know.
I don't like myself very much lately. It's not that I'm usually in love with myself, but I'm usually pretty okay with how I am and getting to be more of who I want to be. Lately, I've not been liking the way my work ethic and thoughts are going, but I don't seem to take the iniciate to change them either. Everything just seems like of discouraging, like I'll never get anywhere I want to be with anything.
My posting style and content are going downhill, too. I used to post lighter, more fun things with interesting facts and real outlooks on things. I used to try to be real and post challenging things. I feel different now, but not good different. Different...darker, more conforming. I hate that. I really hate myself right now.
Don't freak out, I'm not suicidal or anything; I'm not one to go for the permanent solution to a temporary problem. I just don't know what to do to get myself back on track to...whatever it is I want.
I feel kind of lost, I guess. Remember my advice a few weeks ago? "Be sure you know who you are. If you don't, how can you expect others to?" Well, I really need to do that now. I feel like I'm being fake with everyone, but it's not really my fault because I'm not sure who I am anyway. I used to be really sure of who I was. I was KENDRA: smart, persistent, persuasive, and certainly destined to be a great writer and lawyer someday.
NOW what am I? I have no idea, and it bothers me.
Sorry. I don't mean to rant at you guys. You didn't sign up for this.
I guess I'm just feeling down-in-the-dumps. *shrug*
I have my headshot for the play today. I hate pictures like this. I don't mind regular pictures when you're just doing life and people are like "SMILE!" *flash* I hate pictures that you prepare for. I always end up having a bad hair day, or one of those times when my eyeliner won't do right. This picture is for the play, so all the people that I really care about what they think are gonna see it all over. If I look stupid, I'll look stupid for a long time.
-_-
I'm just going to stop now. I don't know who I am, so how can I expect you to?
Eating 2 poppy seed bagels can make you test positive for drugs.
Email. Comment. First correct gets an award. No Googling.
--------------------------
So, Followers Say is this Saturday! I'm really excited to see what people have to say. I'm thinking this is gonna be an anual thing, and I hope that it will grow every year.
School...I don't know what's wrong with me. Usually, I go through times when I "hate" school, but I never REALLY do. I feel like I'm kind of resenting school right now. It's getting in the way of all the other stuff I like to do. It seems like the assignments are all really tedious and stupid. I don't know.
I don't like myself very much lately. It's not that I'm usually in love with myself, but I'm usually pretty okay with how I am and getting to be more of who I want to be. Lately, I've not been liking the way my work ethic and thoughts are going, but I don't seem to take the iniciate to change them either. Everything just seems like of discouraging, like I'll never get anywhere I want to be with anything.
My posting style and content are going downhill, too. I used to post lighter, more fun things with interesting facts and real outlooks on things. I used to try to be real and post challenging things. I feel different now, but not good different. Different...darker, more conforming. I hate that. I really hate myself right now.
Don't freak out, I'm not suicidal or anything; I'm not one to go for the permanent solution to a temporary problem. I just don't know what to do to get myself back on track to...whatever it is I want.
I feel kind of lost, I guess. Remember my advice a few weeks ago? "Be sure you know who you are. If you don't, how can you expect others to?" Well, I really need to do that now. I feel like I'm being fake with everyone, but it's not really my fault because I'm not sure who I am anyway. I used to be really sure of who I was. I was KENDRA: smart, persistent, persuasive, and certainly destined to be a great writer and lawyer someday.
NOW what am I? I have no idea, and it bothers me.
Sorry. I don't mean to rant at you guys. You didn't sign up for this.
I guess I'm just feeling down-in-the-dumps. *shrug*
I have my headshot for the play today. I hate pictures like this. I don't mind regular pictures when you're just doing life and people are like "SMILE!" *flash* I hate pictures that you prepare for. I always end up having a bad hair day, or one of those times when my eyeliner won't do right. This picture is for the play, so all the people that I really care about what they think are gonna see it all over. If I look stupid, I'll look stupid for a long time.
-_-
I'm just going to stop now. I don't know who I am, so how can I expect you to?
Friday, September 4, 2009
A VERY Long Post (Includes Question Day, Character Day, My Day, and Two Tags :O)
Okay, this is a LOOOOOOOONG post, so let me help you find your way through it with this handy Table of Contents:
1. Question Day (Why do people have it so good, but then complain all the time?)
2. Character Day (Johnny Tremain)
3. Usual post stuff (how my day was, what this evening looks like, what I'm reading right now)
4. Tag from Bethany (Hopeless Romantic Tag)!
5. Tag from ciaraaa:) (Finish-the-Sentence Tag)!
6. Thanks for reading, don't forget to vote, ask me stuff, don't forget about Followers Say, blah, blah, blah.
Question Day:
From GracieTheFirst: "Why do people have it so good, but then complain all the time?"
My answer:
It's part of human nature, I believe. The lack of "carpe diem", the staring at the grass on the other side of the fence.
Often people who have it the best complain the most. Isn't that odd? I think the reason is that they are spoiled. Not in the bratty way, just that they've had everything they needed all their lives. They don't know what it means not to get everything they want for Christmas, or not have enough food, or not have a best friend.
When you never need anything, you can't appreciate not having it.
Like in Coloniel days, a stick of candy would make a kid's day. Now, a stick of candy is just a temporary pleasure that we forget ten minutes later when we're whining to go to the movies.
Sort of the opposite, people can complain all the time because of ONE THING they don't have, and that over-shadows all the good they DO have. A girl might gripe and moan about, oh, say...not having an older brother, and miss the fact that both her parents are happily married to each other, have jobs, and she lives in a beautiful new house!
You're so right; we need to stop complaining. It's so cliche, but we really do need to count our blessing. Be glad of the things we have, ignore the things we don't (within reason).
However, on more reason for ridiculous complaining is that the person needs Jesus. Honestly, the way to true happiness cannot be found in possessions. It cannot be found in good friendship (although that certainly is a wonderful thing). It cannot be found solely by counting your blessing.
To be truly happy, one must find God.
Long story short: People who live the good life complain all the time for one (or all) of three reasons:
1. They don't know what it means to live the "bad life", so they have nothing to compare their "good life" to. They have never lived the "bad life", so they can't realize how good they have it.
2. They are too busy complaing about a single thing to realize the countless blessings surrounding them.
3. They are looking for happiness in the wrong places.
Hope this answer is everything you were hoping for! Thanks for asking!
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Character Day! Sorry I'm late.
Since this is going to be a monumental post anyway, I'll go into semi-detail this time.
The character of the week is Johnny Tremain from the book "Johnny Tremain" by Esther Forbes. Why Johnny? Because I think he's an excellent example of a realistic and complex character. The book takes place right before and during the Revolutionary War. Johnny begins the book as an extremely talented silversmith's apprentice for a kind master, Old Mr. Lapham.
The complexity of Johnny’s character helps makes the story believable. At the beginning of the book, pride dominates Johnny’s nature. His skills as a silversmith far exceed those of the other two Lapham apprentices, and Johnny lets this go to his head. For the first part of the book, Johnny is extremely arrogant and treats everyone as though they were beneath him.
Pride isn’t Johnny’s only character trait, though, even from the beginning. Johnny is also clever and bold and determined. He can’t be stereotyped, which makes him seem especially real. He reacts to things in ways unique to him. The way he feels about Cilla, the old Mr. Lapham’s daughter, confuses him, and he struggles with what to do about her. This struggle adds depth to Johnny’s character, and shows a different side than his usual arrogant, determined nature.
Johnny grows up a great deal during the course of the book. He never loses his proud nature completely, but he learns that everyone makes mistakes—even himself—and his pride shifts from arrogance to healthy self-confidence. He matures and finds his true self, developing into a determined young man of courage and good values.
Johnny is one of the few characters I've read about that can't be put into the common mold (hot-head, ladies' man, prep, innocent, big-mouth, etc.) at all. He's as real and complex as anyone you might meet in real life, and sometimes even more so. Johnny is one of my favorite literary characters, and Esther Forbes is a writer I long to be like.
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Ah, yes. Today was much needed.
I got all of my work done, and tonight my dad is going to watch football with some guys, so it'll be a "girl's night" at my house :) We are renting (or buying) the Hannah Montana Movie and having popcorn, pretzels, etc.
Yes, the Hannah Montana Movie. I've had such a wonderful day, though, that I don't even care! And plus, it really wasn't a half bad movie at all. I even liked it, and it's not my thing. Lucas Till helped, of course ;) Haha, just kidding.
In school, we're reading "Paradise Lost". Not the whole thing, though. Just all the arguments at the beginning and then book one. We read some of it in Challenge B (eighth grade), and I HATED IT with a PASSION. All the except we read talked about was gluttony and drinking, gluttony and drinking, for pages and pages and PAGES. I thought reading all of book one was going to be torture.
It is not.
I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Honestly. Really. I LOVE IT.
Book one is all about Satan, his falling from Heaven, and rousing up his rebel angels in Hell to continue resistance against God. It's incredible. John Milton is an absolute genius. He portrays Satan so believably. Evil, yes, but relatable, real, in some places almost charismatic. I'm a firm believer in God, but some of Satan (as Milton portrays him)'s speeches are incredibly persuasive.
"Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven." --Satan
Favorite quote. While I have to admit it, I tend to think that way myself. I know that's horrible, and I'm a strong Christian and everything, but...well, does anyone else know what I mean?
I had crazy dreams last night. More Maximum Ride dreams. I watched the whole series as a movie, but when I woke up, I realized that it didn't even follow the book. It was really vivid and interesting, but not half as good as the dream where I was Max and Fang was my "brother" :)
I've been tagged! Twice! Yay! I do love these things. Thanks, Bethany and ciaraaa:) for tagging me!
First tag, from Bethany:
The Hopeless Romantic Tag:
1. What two qualities do you want most in your future husband? Humor is definitely one of them. He's got to make me laugh. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who has no sense of humor?? Quality two...Okay, there are several qualities that I'd like, but I'll say this one just to shock everyone: Protective. *scowls as your jaw drops* Yes, okay, I said it. Not like Over-bearing Edward Cullen or anything, but someone who will stick up for me when necessary, and, well, protect me. I'm horribly proud and like to think of myself as a complete fend-for-herself girl, but I actually appreciate when people step in and say, "Hey, knock it off" when I'm in trouble, or help me out.
2. Is there a fictional character you see as a model for your future husband? Hmm, I don't know. I've had countless book-crushes, and I'd marry a couple of character, but isn't it kind of a moot point since they're, well, characters? Okay, that's not really an answer, I know. Let me try again. Eragon ("Eragon"), Fang ("Maximum Ride"), Jace ("The Mortal Instruments"), Johnny Tremain ("Johnny Tremain") and Kavi ("The Farsala Trilogy") are my top book crushes. Make of that what you will.
3. Where do you want your wedding? I don't know. Outside weddings are pretty, but the weather is so unpredictable, and I like predictability when it comes to things like weddings. I definitely want it to be simple, yet elaborately beautiful, if that makes any sense.
4. What are your views on courtship? Nice idea. Don't know if it's going to happen. (Well, put Bethany.) I think it's a fine idea, and it works wonderfully for some people. I don't think I will do it. The idea of a "boyfriend" is kind of heavy for me, though. I'm a huge believer in "friends first". Hanging out with a guy one-on-one is fine with me, but when I get really serious, I want to be absolutely sure that it's someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Does that make sense?
5. What are your views on your first kiss? I'm waiting for someone I'm really in love with. I'm terrible at KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid), though. I complicate things to within and inch of its life, and then there's no magic left. I want everything to be perfect for my first kiss, but I know that's impossible. Just my nerves alone will prevent that.
6. Do you have or want a purity ring/locket? No, but I want one so badly!! Of course, I'll have to take off my mood ring to wear it :O
7. Do you have or want a hope chest? I dont' have one, and I'm not sure about wanting one. I think it's a beautiful kind of old-fashioned idea, but I don't know that I want to have a giant chest full of towels and dishes and stuff in my room waiting for the I Do's...
8. Will you wear a veil at your wedding? No. I want to see everything just as it is, not through a veil.
9. What kind of wedding dress do you want? Ooh, something intricate, Elven, and definitely white. I like this, but I'm not sure about for a wedding dress...It seems a little more like a ball gown. Honestly, though, I'm horribly at this kind of thing. Lizzy (my sister) will definitely be accompanying me to every bridal store to make sure I don't buy anything I'll regret, lol!
10. What flowers do you want in your bouquet? Just pretty ones. I have no idea. I like rose,s though. And I like pink at weddings.
11. What do you want to name one of your daughters? *moan* Don't get me started on names! Um...I like Hope actually. I used to really hate all the names that were virtues, but lately I've started to like Hope. I like Ava, Alazne (uh-LAZ-nee), Maris, Elizabeth. I like the combination Cameron Beth (a girl, obviously). Ava Elizabeth is pretty. Alazne Maris is nice. So is Alazne Elizabeth. So is Alazne Marielle. So is Elizabeth Hope. Lol, see why it was a bad idea to get me started on this??
12. What do you want to name one of your sons? You asked for it. Names I like: Kade, Darren, Cavender, Brandon, Matthew, Mark, Drew (not Andrew, Drew). Brandon Matthew sounds nice. So does Darren Cavender. Cavender Mark. Brandon Daniel. Mark Alexander. Alexander Mark...
13. Do you believe in the 'knight-in-shining-armor' view of courtship? I don't know exactly what that means...I'm thinking not, though, lol
14. What music do you want to play at your wedding? "Here I Am" from Spirit (STOP LAUGHING AT ME), some Lord of the Rings, At Wit's End from Pirates of the Carribean. Other stuff.
Are you a hopeless romantic? Oh, I don't know. Not out loud, but inside...probably so :)
Tag from ciaraaa:)!
The Finish-the-Sentence Tag!
I like tomato soup.
I like books that make you deaf to the world.
I like music that makes you feel things.
I like shocking prudish people >:D
I like laughing.
I like getting everything done.
I love my friends. (I know that's cliche, but I really mean it. See, I love my friends so much that I put books in "like"!)
Today I skipped snack :O
I hate worrying.
I hate throwing up.
I hate losing people I'm close to.
I hate idiots.
I hate loving to run but being too out of shape to run long distances.
I hate slow computers.
I hate my parents nagging me.
I hate people bugging me.
I hate sleepless nights.
I hate books that end with unanswered questions.
Thanks for tagging me y'all! Wow, the Hopeless Romantic one is something I've never seen before. I really enjoyed that, because I hadn't really thought about a lot of the questions before. I like the Finish-the-Sentence tag, too. It's a neat kind of over-view of a person.
Thanks for reading to the end (if you did)! I know it was a long post. Don't forget to vote on the Disney Movie poll and think about Followers Say! You guys rock; I love being able to post my thoughts here.
1. Question Day (Why do people have it so good, but then complain all the time?)
2. Character Day (Johnny Tremain)
3. Usual post stuff (how my day was, what this evening looks like, what I'm reading right now)
4. Tag from Bethany (Hopeless Romantic Tag)!
5. Tag from ciaraaa:) (Finish-the-Sentence Tag)!
6. Thanks for reading, don't forget to vote, ask me stuff, don't forget about Followers Say, blah, blah, blah.
Question Day:
From GracieTheFirst: "Why do people have it so good, but then complain all the time?"
My answer:
It's part of human nature, I believe. The lack of "carpe diem", the staring at the grass on the other side of the fence.
Often people who have it the best complain the most. Isn't that odd? I think the reason is that they are spoiled. Not in the bratty way, just that they've had everything they needed all their lives. They don't know what it means not to get everything they want for Christmas, or not have enough food, or not have a best friend.
When you never need anything, you can't appreciate not having it.
Like in Coloniel days, a stick of candy would make a kid's day. Now, a stick of candy is just a temporary pleasure that we forget ten minutes later when we're whining to go to the movies.
Sort of the opposite, people can complain all the time because of ONE THING they don't have, and that over-shadows all the good they DO have. A girl might gripe and moan about, oh, say...not having an older brother, and miss the fact that both her parents are happily married to each other, have jobs, and she lives in a beautiful new house!
You're so right; we need to stop complaining. It's so cliche, but we really do need to count our blessing. Be glad of the things we have, ignore the things we don't (within reason).
However, on more reason for ridiculous complaining is that the person needs Jesus. Honestly, the way to true happiness cannot be found in possessions. It cannot be found in good friendship (although that certainly is a wonderful thing). It cannot be found solely by counting your blessing.
To be truly happy, one must find God.
Long story short: People who live the good life complain all the time for one (or all) of three reasons:
1. They don't know what it means to live the "bad life", so they have nothing to compare their "good life" to. They have never lived the "bad life", so they can't realize how good they have it.
2. They are too busy complaing about a single thing to realize the countless blessings surrounding them.
3. They are looking for happiness in the wrong places.
Hope this answer is everything you were hoping for! Thanks for asking!
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Character Day! Sorry I'm late.
Since this is going to be a monumental post anyway, I'll go into semi-detail this time.
The character of the week is Johnny Tremain from the book "Johnny Tremain" by Esther Forbes. Why Johnny? Because I think he's an excellent example of a realistic and complex character. The book takes place right before and during the Revolutionary War. Johnny begins the book as an extremely talented silversmith's apprentice for a kind master, Old Mr. Lapham.
The complexity of Johnny’s character helps makes the story believable. At the beginning of the book, pride dominates Johnny’s nature. His skills as a silversmith far exceed those of the other two Lapham apprentices, and Johnny lets this go to his head. For the first part of the book, Johnny is extremely arrogant and treats everyone as though they were beneath him.
Pride isn’t Johnny’s only character trait, though, even from the beginning. Johnny is also clever and bold and determined. He can’t be stereotyped, which makes him seem especially real. He reacts to things in ways unique to him. The way he feels about Cilla, the old Mr. Lapham’s daughter, confuses him, and he struggles with what to do about her. This struggle adds depth to Johnny’s character, and shows a different side than his usual arrogant, determined nature.
Johnny grows up a great deal during the course of the book. He never loses his proud nature completely, but he learns that everyone makes mistakes—even himself—and his pride shifts from arrogance to healthy self-confidence. He matures and finds his true self, developing into a determined young man of courage and good values.
Johnny is one of the few characters I've read about that can't be put into the common mold (hot-head, ladies' man, prep, innocent, big-mouth, etc.) at all. He's as real and complex as anyone you might meet in real life, and sometimes even more so. Johnny is one of my favorite literary characters, and Esther Forbes is a writer I long to be like.
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Ah, yes. Today was much needed.
I got all of my work done, and tonight my dad is going to watch football with some guys, so it'll be a "girl's night" at my house :) We are renting (or buying) the Hannah Montana Movie and having popcorn, pretzels, etc.
Yes, the Hannah Montana Movie. I've had such a wonderful day, though, that I don't even care! And plus, it really wasn't a half bad movie at all. I even liked it, and it's not my thing. Lucas Till helped, of course ;) Haha, just kidding.
In school, we're reading "Paradise Lost". Not the whole thing, though. Just all the arguments at the beginning and then book one. We read some of it in Challenge B (eighth grade), and I HATED IT with a PASSION. All the except we read talked about was gluttony and drinking, gluttony and drinking, for pages and pages and PAGES. I thought reading all of book one was going to be torture.
It is not.
I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Honestly. Really. I LOVE IT.
Book one is all about Satan, his falling from Heaven, and rousing up his rebel angels in Hell to continue resistance against God. It's incredible. John Milton is an absolute genius. He portrays Satan so believably. Evil, yes, but relatable, real, in some places almost charismatic. I'm a firm believer in God, but some of Satan (as Milton portrays him)'s speeches are incredibly persuasive.
"Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven." --Satan
Favorite quote. While I have to admit it, I tend to think that way myself. I know that's horrible, and I'm a strong Christian and everything, but...well, does anyone else know what I mean?
I had crazy dreams last night. More Maximum Ride dreams. I watched the whole series as a movie, but when I woke up, I realized that it didn't even follow the book. It was really vivid and interesting, but not half as good as the dream where I was Max and Fang was my "brother" :)
I've been tagged! Twice! Yay! I do love these things. Thanks, Bethany and ciaraaa:) for tagging me!
First tag, from Bethany:
The Hopeless Romantic Tag:
1. What two qualities do you want most in your future husband? Humor is definitely one of them. He's got to make me laugh. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who has no sense of humor?? Quality two...Okay, there are several qualities that I'd like, but I'll say this one just to shock everyone: Protective. *scowls as your jaw drops* Yes, okay, I said it. Not like Over-bearing Edward Cullen or anything, but someone who will stick up for me when necessary, and, well, protect me. I'm horribly proud and like to think of myself as a complete fend-for-herself girl, but I actually appreciate when people step in and say, "Hey, knock it off" when I'm in trouble, or help me out.
2. Is there a fictional character you see as a model for your future husband? Hmm, I don't know. I've had countless book-crushes, and I'd marry a couple of character, but isn't it kind of a moot point since they're, well, characters? Okay, that's not really an answer, I know. Let me try again. Eragon ("Eragon"), Fang ("Maximum Ride"), Jace ("The Mortal Instruments"), Johnny Tremain ("Johnny Tremain") and Kavi ("The Farsala Trilogy") are my top book crushes. Make of that what you will.
3. Where do you want your wedding? I don't know. Outside weddings are pretty, but the weather is so unpredictable, and I like predictability when it comes to things like weddings. I definitely want it to be simple, yet elaborately beautiful, if that makes any sense.
4. What are your views on courtship? Nice idea. Don't know if it's going to happen. (Well, put Bethany.) I think it's a fine idea, and it works wonderfully for some people. I don't think I will do it. The idea of a "boyfriend" is kind of heavy for me, though. I'm a huge believer in "friends first". Hanging out with a guy one-on-one is fine with me, but when I get really serious, I want to be absolutely sure that it's someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Does that make sense?
5. What are your views on your first kiss? I'm waiting for someone I'm really in love with. I'm terrible at KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid), though. I complicate things to within and inch of its life, and then there's no magic left. I want everything to be perfect for my first kiss, but I know that's impossible. Just my nerves alone will prevent that.
6. Do you have or want a purity ring/locket? No, but I want one so badly!! Of course, I'll have to take off my mood ring to wear it :O
7. Do you have or want a hope chest? I dont' have one, and I'm not sure about wanting one. I think it's a beautiful kind of old-fashioned idea, but I don't know that I want to have a giant chest full of towels and dishes and stuff in my room waiting for the I Do's...
8. Will you wear a veil at your wedding? No. I want to see everything just as it is, not through a veil.
9. What kind of wedding dress do you want? Ooh, something intricate, Elven, and definitely white. I like this, but I'm not sure about for a wedding dress...It seems a little more like a ball gown. Honestly, though, I'm horribly at this kind of thing. Lizzy (my sister) will definitely be accompanying me to every bridal store to make sure I don't buy anything I'll regret, lol!
10. What flowers do you want in your bouquet? Just pretty ones. I have no idea. I like rose,s though. And I like pink at weddings.
11. What do you want to name one of your daughters? *moan* Don't get me started on names! Um...I like Hope actually. I used to really hate all the names that were virtues, but lately I've started to like Hope. I like Ava, Alazne (uh-LAZ-nee), Maris, Elizabeth. I like the combination Cameron Beth (a girl, obviously). Ava Elizabeth is pretty. Alazne Maris is nice. So is Alazne Elizabeth. So is Alazne Marielle. So is Elizabeth Hope. Lol, see why it was a bad idea to get me started on this??
12. What do you want to name one of your sons? You asked for it. Names I like: Kade, Darren, Cavender, Brandon, Matthew, Mark, Drew (not Andrew, Drew). Brandon Matthew sounds nice. So does Darren Cavender. Cavender Mark. Brandon Daniel. Mark Alexander. Alexander Mark...
13. Do you believe in the 'knight-in-shining-armor' view of courtship? I don't know exactly what that means...I'm thinking not, though, lol
14. What music do you want to play at your wedding? "Here I Am" from Spirit (STOP LAUGHING AT ME), some Lord of the Rings, At Wit's End from Pirates of the Carribean. Other stuff.
Are you a hopeless romantic? Oh, I don't know. Not out loud, but inside...probably so :)
Tag from ciaraaa:)!
The Finish-the-Sentence Tag!
I like tomato soup.
I like books that make you deaf to the world.
I like music that makes you feel things.
I like shocking prudish people >:D
I like laughing.
I like getting everything done.
I love my friends. (I know that's cliche, but I really mean it. See, I love my friends so much that I put books in "like"!)
Today I skipped snack :O
I hate worrying.
I hate throwing up.
I hate losing people I'm close to.
I hate idiots.
I hate loving to run but being too out of shape to run long distances.
I hate slow computers.
I hate my parents nagging me.
I hate people bugging me.
I hate sleepless nights.
I hate books that end with unanswered questions.
Thanks for tagging me y'all! Wow, the Hopeless Romantic one is something I've never seen before. I really enjoyed that, because I hadn't really thought about a lot of the questions before. I like the Finish-the-Sentence tag, too. It's a neat kind of over-view of a person.
Thanks for reading to the end (if you did)! I know it was a long post. Don't forget to vote on the Disney Movie poll and think about Followers Say! You guys rock; I love being able to post my thoughts here.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Advice Day!
Advice Day:
"Is all fair in love and war? Remember, you can't have a double standard." ~Kendra Logan :D
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Well, school work dragged on today, but totally due to procrastination. I could have been done at 2instead of 4, but, hey, this is ME we're talking about.
No soccer practice tonight. We're going to have it Thursday night at the same time as another team so we can scrimmage. I have play practice tonight, though: 7-9:30. We're getting our schedules. It turns out I don't have to come to every practice. Yay! I'll know which ones I do need to come to when I get the schedule.
I'm going to try to get in some good writing today. Or, I was. Lizzy just called downstairs and told me that supper is in five minutes -.- Then play practice, then print out junk for school tomorrow, then bed. :( Will I ever get back to writing anything?? I hope so.
Friday will come sooner than we all think, and I still don't have a question to answer for Question Day...*hint hint* :)
Well, I just got the dinner call. I'll talk to you all later! Maybe tonight if something REALLY exciting happens at play practice!
"Is all fair in love and war? Remember, you can't have a double standard." ~Kendra Logan :D
-------------------------
Well, school work dragged on today, but totally due to procrastination. I could have been done at 2instead of 4, but, hey, this is ME we're talking about.
No soccer practice tonight. We're going to have it Thursday night at the same time as another team so we can scrimmage. I have play practice tonight, though: 7-9:30. We're getting our schedules. It turns out I don't have to come to every practice. Yay! I'll know which ones I do need to come to when I get the schedule.
I'm going to try to get in some good writing today. Or, I was. Lizzy just called downstairs and told me that supper is in five minutes -.- Then play practice, then print out junk for school tomorrow, then bed. :( Will I ever get back to writing anything?? I hope so.
Friday will come sooner than we all think, and I still don't have a question to answer for Question Day...*hint hint* :)
Well, I just got the dinner call. I'll talk to you all later! Maybe tonight if something REALLY exciting happens at play practice!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Back-To-School Clothes + Photographer Sister = This
So, I got some new clothes, new books, new hat, and new shades, and asked Lizzy to take a picture of me for the blog and for Facebook. Well...we went photoshoot crazy :)
Today we went back-to-school shopping, and dropped by the bookstore. YAY!! Usually I don't like shopping all day, but this was surprisingly enjoyable. My style is slightly and slowly changing to something along the lines of punk rock. Not so much in this outfit in the pictures, though.
We had Katie ("little sister") with us today because her usual babysitter had a job interview. That was pretty fun. We got to fool strangers into thinking we had another sister. We're such sly dogs ;P
Lizzy and I also started having really similar tastes in clothes. We would walk through the store and pick out stuff, and then when we met back up, we'd have the same exact things. It was freaky.
Other than a really fun shopping "spree", nothing happened today. It's Challenge Day, but I'll just let the challenge be to get through looking at the pictures of me without grimacing ;)
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