You may have noticed something (Okay, probably more than one something, but I'm talking about something specific XD):
My lack of blogging.
(Okay maybe you didn't XD But now that I've brought it to your attention...)
I love ~Carpe Diem~. Like, I think I might actually love it, like it's a person, an extension of myself. It's been a sounding board for new ideas, my journal for good times and bad, a venue for meeting some of the most amazing people, a way to document my life in fun and beautiful ways that I never would have been able to otherwise. I LOVE ~Carpe Diem~.
The name is perfect; Seize the day. Live, love, laugh, learn. To me, ~Carpe Diem~ represents growing up and changing and being excited about life. Even the templates have been happy and fresh.
So it feels kind of like my heart is breaking as I say that I think I'm finished here.
I'm so silly, I'm almost crying XD
(Dang, as I type, I'm not sure if I can go through with this.)
For some reason, there's been a distance growing between me and ~Carpe Diem~. Not a dislike, not a disinterest, just a distance. I'm growing up, but that's not quite what I mean. I've outgrown ~CD~ is more like it. I haven't matured out of it, I've grown out of it. I know that might sound like the same thing, but it isn't. Maturing would mean that I feel ~CD~ is below my thought level now, that it was cute while it lasted but I'm moving on. That is not how I feel.
I feel like ~CD~ represents a definite chapter of my life, of who I am, and that chapter is over.
Honestly (for you writers out there), it feels like I've finished a book. I'm heartbroken to leave it behind, but it's truly finished and it's time to move on. It'll always be there, and I'll reread it or maybe even work on it, but it's in the past now. I've finished it. I've out grown it and I'm ready to move on.
If I haven't made it obnoxiously obvious yet, I will now: I won't be posting on ~Carpe Diem~ anymore. I may post occasionally, but most likely it'll be memorial posts (~CD~'s birthday, MY birthday, holidays, etc.) and not a regular thing. At this point, I don't plan to ever come back to daily posting.
I love ~Carpe Diem~ dearly, and much more than anyone should love a blog, and I love all of you. I can't believe 137 people care about what I say! It's mind-boggling! Me? ME?? You want to read ME??
I've gotten really arrogant about the whole blog thing too, and I think that was what started the distance. I started caring too much about the number of followers and not enough about the real reason for blogging. I'm so sorry.
As hard as it is to make myself come to terms with this decision, I feel like it's almost been made for me. I grow up, I change, and those plain facts are out of my control. So this is goodbye. (Forget almost crying, I AM crying >.<) I honestly cannot thank you enough for being a part of this wonderful journey I've been on.
If you're interested in keeping up with me, I have something to tell you, but you need to email me: email@example.com.
With much, much, MUCH love,