Thursday, April 30, 2009

Kade and Magic

Okay, I think today is going to be Name Day. I might do the names of my friends or of famous people sometimes, but probably I'll mostly do random names that I think are cool.

Today's name is *drumroll*: Kade!

No reason behind this name; it's just one of my favorites. It's a boy's name, but I read that it can be a girl's name, too. I think if I were naming a girl that, I'd spell it differently: Cade.

Anyway, it apparently has many meanings. When I found it and loved it a couple of years ago, I thought it meant "strong". When I googled it just now, I got a bunch of meanings including stout, sturdy, from the wetlands, and barrel. LOL! I like "strong" the best. Doesn't Kade sound like it means "strong"? *shrug* I'm name fanatic, so I'm probably more into this than any of y'all are ;) Oh well. That's the name of the week: KADE! :D
Not much that's very exciting happened today. My mom gave a party for her class of eighth graders (Challenge B-ers), and my ninth grade (Challenge I) friends were invited, too. Some of them came, so that was pretty fun, although I will say I was underwhelmed at the manners and lack of common courtesy displayed by a few individuals.

Tonight, a couple is coming over for pre-marriage counsiling, so we're waiting dinner for them. They're supposed to be here at seven. *moan* I'll staaaaaarve! :) Just kidding. I'm definitely getting hungry though...

Tomorrow is my friend (Ellie B)'s play. I'm hopefully going to it. On Saturday I have an extra practice session for my dance class. We're going to rehearse the finale dance we've recently learned.

I told you I went to the bookstore Tuesday, right? Well, I did, and I got five books! :D :D Yay!! I've already finished one, and I'm halfway through another. I just love books. I know this sounds really cliche, but they can take you to different worlds and cultures on amazing adventures without your ever leaving your house! How awesome is that?

In my opinion, words are the closest thing we have to magic.

Maybe that's why I want to be a writer so badly...

Carpe aestas!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Little Faults and Big Meanies

Yay! It's Quote Day! :) Alright, here it goes:

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld.

Is that the truth or WHAT? Man, I never realized how true it was until I heard this quote. I mean, don't you find yourself doing that? Making a big deal out of a little thing that's wrong with you so people will think that...well, that that's the only thing wrong with us? I don't know. Maybe only I do that. Wow, now I sound really!
Okay, so, I had dance tonight. It went really well for the most part, except for one thing. Okay, I don't know if I've ever said anything before about this, but there's a pose at the end of one of our dances where someone has to do a split. Our class divides itself into a bunch of groups of three, and then one person in every group does a split in the pose (the teacher picks the split people). So, the split parts go assigned a few weeks ago, and I'd been practicing VERY hard, and I could ALMOST do the split. But, instead of me getting the part, this tiny girl who can't even do it as well as I can got the part. (Sorry, that sounded really mean. I'm just venting.)

But I practiced anyway. It was like a personal thing. I had to be able to do a split.

Well, I still can't, but a couple of weeks ago, the teacher realized that she'd miscounted; she needed another split person! And she picked me!! Yay!! AAAAAAAAND, I was in the very middle of everyone! Kind of in "the spotlight". I was so happy, and secretly, I sort of thought I WAS amoung the better split people (dang, there goes the vain thing again...).

BUT THEN, this week, a group of preppy, annoying, mean girls decided THEY wanted to be in the middle. So, they parked themselves in front of my group and totally covered us up. This other girl and I brought it to the teachers attention that we were hidden, and so she fixed it.

By moving US.

So NOW, my group and I are behind some more people on the SIDE of the stage, while the preppy, annoying, mean girls got their way in the middle of the stage. HOW IS THIS FAIR, PEOPLE??

Sorry. I know I just need to get over it.

But it's not really the fact that they're in the middle that bothers me exactly. It's more that they got their way. It's the principle of the thing. No one should get their way by being mean and shoving other people out of the way. It's just NOT FAIR.

Unfortunately, life isn't fair. There are those meanie-butts all over, so I guess the sooner I get used to that, the better. I only wish I could do something about all the meanies in the world. I wish I could bring the world back to flippin' justice. When people don't get their way by whining or sabataging other people.

Maybe that's why I want to be a lawyer so badly...

Carpe aestas!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Hourglass Nebula and My Life

How's this for awesome? It's supposed to be the hourglass nebula. Isn't it beautiful? I'm not really sure if it actually is the hourglass nebula, though, because it doesn't look like an hourglass, or any of the other pictures of the hourglass nebula. But no matter what it is, it's stunning, isn't it?

As I was looking at it, it sort of looks like someone climbing a steep mountain. The wind is blowing, and the person's hair is blowing. There's also like this huge cloud of evil trying to keep the person from making it to the top. Maybe the person is trying to get that red star thing. Do you see all this? Okay, let me see if I can describe it more, just in case you have no idea what I'm talking about, lol!
You see the red star, right? It's sitting in the middle of a mountain. Just the top of the mountain. You see the four rays of light coming out of the star? The top left ray points to a person. The greenish blob is the head, and the person is almost lying on the mountain, it's struggling so much. The wind is blowing, and the person's hair is blowing up and in front of his face. Behind the person (you can't miss this, lol) is a huge cloud of evil and misfortune, swirling darkly, just waiting to knock the person off the mountain.
Do you see it? Okay, well, that's my Picture of the Week :)
Okay, I like the specialty posts and everything, but they feel somehow impersonal. I feel like I never post anymore, even though I'm posting every day. It's weird. So, I'm just going to take a little bit to recap my life over the past few days, like I used to. Okay? :)
Okay, so Friday was the start to an amazing weekend. Hot, sunny, and just perfect weather. My dad took our little sunfish sailboat out and had a great time. I just took a walk with my dog while listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. THAT was cool, let me tell ya :D The music really added something special to my walk through the woods.
Saturday, my dad took the sailboat out again, and I just hung out on the beach with a bunch of my church friends. It was so much fun!! I went on the Fords' boat for the first time in over a year! YAY! It was just awesome. Just like old times. I went barefoot the whole day, so my feet are getting tough already ;D
Sunday, WE DID IT AGAIN! My dad took the sailboat out, and even more people came down to the beach. Like, our whole church almost. Well, okay, not exactly, but like eight families were there. I love my church friends. They're just like extra family. Tons of parents and siblings, all mine :)
That was the best weekend I've ever had. I had so much fun! Indescribably amazing. Wow.
And tonight, I'M GOING TO THE BOOKSTORE!!!!!! Isn't that awesome? I have a list of like twenty-five books I need to read, lol! I'm sure I won't be able to get them all tonight, but I'll get some at least! And I'm going summer clothes shopping, but only a little. Just a couple of pairs of shorts and maybe a T-shirt or two. Nothing extreme. I'm procrastinating the extreme shopping ;)
The only thing that's sad right now is how Mirror is going. It's going as bad as it's ever been. I'm actually thinking I might not finish it. I have a bunch of people who are so excited about it, and I hate to disappoint them, but it's just going so badly, I can't imagine completing it now! :'( But I HAVE TO!! I just HAVE TO! But how? It's going SO BADLY. I haven't really written it in so long.
*giant sigh* I've had rough patches before. After all, when I started this book, I wrote a few pages, and then didn't pick back up until nearly a YEAR later. This is just a rough patch. It'll be okay. I'll finish it, edit it, and it'll be great.
I hope.
Well, that's my past few days and tonight. Hope you weren't bored ;) Carpe this aestas diem!

Monday, April 27, 2009


It's the first weekly WORD DAY!! Aside from quote day, I think this is going to be my favorite :D

Just to give a little introduction to the Word of the Week posts, I want to say this: I think some weeks I'll have a long, crazy word that I've recently learned or something, and then maybe sometimes I'll try to dig deeper into a word that I've known forever.

Word of this week: TORRID

Apparently, this word has a negative connotation that I wasn't aware of until a few months ago, but the actual meaning isn't bad at all. This is my favorite word ever, but believe me, the negative connotation has nothing to do with my liking it. Basically, it just means really hot. No, not like attractive hot (although it probably can be used that way); like burning, scorching, and sometimes passionate.

The word "torrid" comes from the Latin word "torrere" which means "to dry with heat." (Don't thank me for that, thank :D) I thought that was cool.

Anyway, torrid is my favorite word, and it has been ever since I found it when I was looking for a word to describe a character's eyes. "Torrid" is the perfect word for eyes I think. I don't know why.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Been There Done That and Allergies

Okay, I'm not really sure where exactly in the Bible this is, but at church today, we sang a song about God being everlasting; how he doesn't grow weary, and how he's completely all-powerful. And so I got to thinking, "Well, isn't that great? He can't know how I feel then, can he? Mr. I-Can-Blow-Up-The-World-With-One-Word can't possibly understand my struggle to grasp physical science!"

And then I had another thought!


See, that's why my God is so cool! He's like three in one! The all-powerful, world-creating God who listens to your every word (only not in a creepy way :D), the Holy Spirit who can help you randomly when you're in a tight spot without you even having to ask, and finally, JESUS, who might be my favorite "piece" of God. He totally gave up paradise to come down to Earth and experience life WITH us! Aside from taking all the penalty for our being sinners obviously, I think one of the most important reasons for Jesus coming to Earth was so that he could tell us that he knows how we feel.

God is cool, but Jesus has BEEN THERE. He's been made fun of, gotten super hungry, had his parents not understand him, been deserted by his closest friends, felt that frustration when you're trying to explain something and people JUST AREN'T GETTIN' IT, and ALL THAT STUFF! Jesus has been through, like, everything!

So, when I pray now, I don't have to be all stuck up thinking that God is so sheltered and he doesn't even know what I'm going through. Now I can just remember that, well, Jesus does. He's a classic case of Been There Done That And Got the Robe.


Well, it's kinda late, and I'm really tired, so I think I'm just gonna be out! Oh, but last night and this morning, my eye puffed up because of allergies! Yeah, it sucks: I'm allergic to pollen. *sigh* Oh well, must enjoy summer anyway! I went down to the beach again, but I cut my foot going barefoot ALL DAY yesterday, so walking around a ton kinda hurt :( And now I have this creepy rash on my left thigh from who-knows-what, and it's freaking me out! Well, not totally, just a little. Mostly I just don't want it to get, pray for my allergies, cross your fingers, whatever works for you! ;) Carpe this aestas diem!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Best Day Ever!

Sorry for posting twice in one day, but I just had to say that I had the most amazing day ever!! The Fords took us out on their boat!! So much fun! And we played on the beaches, too. :D Best day ever!!

Carpe Noctem Day: Being Great

This is going to be a quick post, but hopefully still thought-provoking.

Some of you may have heard of Ralph Waldo Emerson. He wrote many essays, the most famous of which is “Self Reliance.” In his essay, he basically tells the reader than people need to depend on themselves. They need to be confident, but not cocky, and respect themselves. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect others to?

The most famous statement in the essay is “To be great is to be misunderstood.” When you first hear it, you probably thinking “okay, sounds cool, whatever.” Don’t dismiss it yet! Do you even understand what it means? I had to write a paper analyzing this for school, and at first, I came up with the stupid generic response: the greater someone is, the fewer people there are like them. The fewer people that think the way they do. Therefore, they’re misunderstood.

Wasn’t that just so enlightening?

Here’s another way of thinking about it: if one thinks about all the “geniuses” in history, it appears that all of them were misunderstood (Einstein, Newton, Jesus, Columbus, etc.). Why is that? It certainly has something to do with their thinking being far above others, but also, “to be great” almost by definition is to be strange. People who are considered great pushed the boundaries of their society. They tried new things. They looked at things in new ways. Anyone who is great will be misunderstood, because to be great, one must challenge the common thinking.

I would like to be great. Wouldn’t you? But who wants to be misunderstood? I think that’s what holds a lot of people back: the fear of being misunderstood. When you think outside the box, you’re usually labeled “weird”. Maybe that’s why today’s young people don’t do as many great things as we could.

Yeah; ’cause we’re SCARED.

So, I challenge you. Think outside the box. Challenge common thinking. Be misunderstood.

Be great.

Friday, April 24, 2009


Wow! Today is absolutely gorgeous! The leaves on the trees are almost "full grown", and the pollen isn't TOO bad. It's also about eighty degrees. Ah, finally. My kind of weather ;) I took my dog and we went for a jog down the trails! She seems about as out of shape as I am ;) I don't know how many miles we went; we just took each trail behind our house twice. It felt great aside from the fact that it was super hot, and it gave me a headache. I dunno why, but exercizing when it's really hot gives me a killer headache. I probably get dehydrated or something.

My grandma came yesterday, and she is staying until Monday. She and my mom and Lizzy (my 12 year old sister) went shopping at around eleven and got back around three. The three of them could shop in every shopping center within reach and not be sick of it. I go in a store, head straight to my department, pick out the first ten things that I like, buy five of them, and GO HOME, lol!

Now that the "burden" of school is gone, I feel two things: really free, and really lazy/bored. I don't know what to do with my time now. *sigh* This happens every summer. I spend most of the summer not doing anything, and then when school comes back, I think "Dangit, I should have enjoyed summer while it lasted." It's another one of those carpe diem things, I guess. The more I blog, the more the title of this blog seems to be perfect.

Lizzy and my dad are going out on our little sailboat now. I don't like sailboats a ton. They're okay, and it can be really nice and peacful sailing, but in general I'm more of a speed boat kind of person. I love going fast! We have some friends who have a great boat, and they used to take us out like all the time during the summer. Then, they sort of stopped and starting going with other people, and last summer, they didn't take us at all :( Hopefully this year will be different.

I want to make this the best summer ever, but I don't really know how. Getting into shape is definitely a good place to start, I think. Eating right, exercizing, blah blah blah, you know. I recently discovered that I actually LIKE salad after all, so that's cool :D Sorry. Not trying to go all healthy on you. Just saying.

I dunno if anyone has noticed, but I didn't post anything on Carpe Noctem last Saturday. I don't know why exactly. I thought about it, but I just...didn't. Not many people read it (which is okay), so if I want to post something that I really want people to read, maybe I should post it here instead. Maybe I'll make Saturdays "Carpe Noctem Day" or something. (Lol, Seize the Night Day!) I have all these ideas for blogs, but I already have two, so I probably shouldn't. Maybe I'll just have different days for stuff. Like, a super short specialty post ever day, then just a regular post. What do you think?

Ideas for Specialty Posts:
2. Pictures
3. Word of the Day (Week?)
4. Challenge
5. Poem or Short Story (hmm...I dunno. I might switch this for Name of the Week or something)
6. Bible Verse of the Week (I could do this on Sunday)
7. Carpe Noctem

There, something for every day. Do y'all think this is a good idea?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

News of Many Varieties

Good news, medium news, sad news and terribly sad news:

Good news first: MY PHYSICAL SCIENCE TEST WENT JUST FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I got an A!! The test was much easier than I thought it was going to be. My mom says it was because I studied so hard. Maybe it was! Cool!

Medium news second: School is over. *blink* Holy crud. School is over????? I'm on.........summer break?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! *moan* I'm bored already! I've hated school and wanted summer for the past two months, but now I'm sad! And sort of happy, too. I mean, no more science. I still have a ton of math to do. *glares* And no friends. *sniff sniff* Oh well. I'm free, right? That should feel like good news. Except for now some people aren't coming back next year, and I'll pretty much never REALLY see him again. I mean them. Okay, yeah, it's a him, but I don't like him or anything. I'm just gonna miss him being around. Okay, change this from being "medium news" to just being "sad news".

Sad news third: I don't remember what this was going to be...

Terribly sad news: Okay, have I mentioned this thing called Mock Trial to you? Well, I don't have time to go into a lot of detail, just know it's a complicated and challenging court experience thing people at my "school" do in Challenge B (eighth grade). It's a huge competition, and it's much harder than it looks. And it looks hard! My team won the championships. I loved Mock Trial. That's what made me want to be a lawyer. So, when this year's eighth graders started preparing, I was so excited!! I helped them all I could, but some of them just were not taking the whole thing seriously.

Yesterday was the first round of the competition. The team mostly surprised me! They were very good! Some of it was excellent, some of it wasn't so good. But I was still thinking we had won the first round. I mean, of course they would win the first round. Never in the whole history of the tutor has her class come in anything but second or first.

There is a first time for everything, folks.


They LOST.

They lost.

They lost??????????????

I'm so upset! More upset than you can realize! Mock Trial is a huge deal to me. I could hardly sleep last night at first. I just kept going over the trial in my head again and again and again and AGAIN. I couldn't stop! I kept telling myself, "KENDRA, STOP IT. This wasn't even your class; why are you so upset? And anyway, it's OVER. You can't do anything about winning now."

*moan* So, yeah. That's very sad news.

A tiny bit more not-so-good-news: On account of all the stress of three finals, a memorized speech, and Mock Trial, I have three stress pimples, and two ulcers in my throat, and I think I might have a stomach ulcer.

I know. I seriously need to switch to decaf. Lol! :) Really, I'm okay. I know I'll get over all of this eventually. Even my class breaking apart. It's all good. Sort of. I WILL be all good. You just gotta believe that. Things will work out right somehow, even if it isn't YOUR version of "right". God knows what he's doing. Carpe diem!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Things Worthy of Being Read

Part 1 of This Post:

“If you have not done things worthy of being written about, at least write things worthy of being read.” –Giacomo Cassanova

This goes along with yesterday's post. Since nothing happens to me, I'll just have to write exciting things instead!

I think this is one reason why I love to write so much. I hope I DO write things worthy of being read. When "Mirror" is finished, I plan to try to get it published; then, I'll know whether or not I succeded.

To succeed, though, I must know what worthy of being read IS, right? What do you think? I know what I think, of course, but I'm not going to be the one buying all my books if they ever get published! You tell me. What makes a book worthy of being read?

Part 2 of This Post:

There are three main reasons why I love to write:
1. I love words.
2. Nothing ever happens to me, so I have to write exciting things for someone else.
3. I'm a control freak, and being a writer is a little like being God for a while.

And three main reasons why I love to read:
1. I love words.
2. Nothing ever happens to me, so I have to have adventures without ever leaving my room.
3. It's interesting to see other people play God for a little while.

So, in conclusion to this short post, I both read and write mainly because I love adventures and words and never have adventures so I have to play God for my characters and write things worthy of being read.

I love that quote. Go carpe your diem!

P.S. Ever noticed that the word "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together? I hate physical science.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Terrible Misfortunes

*bites lip hard and takes a deep breath*


Lols ;) Carpe (as in "carpe diem") is, in fact, in the imperative. I stand corrected :)

Anyway, I don't have much to post, except that I'm still significantly worried about the physical science exam on Tuesday...I'm just so not good at this! *moan* It's coming along okay, though. I just better get a C or above. 'Cause if I don't, my mom is going to make me take it again over the summer :( But I think I'm safe. I usually do fine on tests, even if I suck at the subject. Mostly due to the fact that I am a seriously good crammer ;)

Um...I'm really sorry, but I don't have hardly anything good to say right now!! Hmm...Okay, here's an idea: I'll find one of my favorite quotes and tell about it :D Kind of second grade, but still. It's something.

Quote: “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened."
Author: Michel de Montaigne
Why I like it: Well, I like a lot of quotes, so it's really difficult for me to pick my FAVORITE one, but this one is cool because it sort of describes how I live. Even when I was little (playing slaves, orphans, poor people, etc.), my friends and, especially, I were fascinated by the "darker" side of life. Even now, I make up terrible things and pretend like they happen to me. Not seriously, of course! I don't ACTUALLY think they happen, but it's fun to pretend (I get more like a six yeare old by the sentence, don't I? :) )

Anyway, the point is, my life is, sort of unfortunately, very good (parents never divorced, good friends, good grades, good school situation, etc.). And very dull. Nothing exciting EVER happens to me. I mean, little exciting things, sure, but nothing HUGE. Not MY kind of "huge", at least.

My small town life is just PERFECT for a movie/book setting or something. Little town, nothing ever happens, restless teen with a big imagination. I mean, seriously, where is the magical adventure that's supposed to swoop down on me and carry me off on some crazy journey that I later regret wishing for?? *sigh*

I know that won't happen. I know that I'm crazy to even for a second wish that it MIGHT happen. I don't really think it will. I'm not stupid, and I'm actually kind of practical. Still. My life is dull, DULL, DULL, DULL, DULL. I just wish something would happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And nothing ever does!

So, as Montaigne said, I have to resort to making up my own terrible misfortunes. *grins* Talk to you later!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Party! And Other Stuff

Hala! :)

It feels like summer today!! Or at least summer-ish. I can't write long; I'm going on the boat with my neighbors for a little while. Then, I gotta go shopping for two presents. Two of my friends (Chris G and Tori) and having a joint birthday party. Shopping for Tori shouldn't be too bad, but I have no idea what to get, I do have an idea. A very generic one. I'll tell you what it is after the party. Chris never reads my blog, but, you know, better safe than unsurprised at the party :)

I studied today from 11am to 1:30pm. Okay...that was only two and a half hours...Well, it felt like a LONG, STINKIN' TIME!! I almost died of physical science. But I'm beginning to understand it, which is VERY good. I still have SOOOOOOO much to do before I'm allowed to watch TV (bummer, right?), and this thing that I really want to watch comes on tonight! At first, I wasn't going to be able to watch it because I'd be at the party (which was fine, lol, I'd rather be with my friends than watch stupid TV), but then my dad was like "I'm not staying up to pick you up at 10 o'clock." 'Cause the party's at Chris's house and it's kind of far away from mine. So, my dad is going to pick me up at 8. Which is a bummer, but at least I get to go AND watch the world premier of "World's Strictest Parents" :D Haha, yeah. Probably lame, but still. That's me :D

So, hopefully today I will
1. Have fun on the boat.
2. Not have my hair totally ruined for the party by all the wind and stuff.
3. Find the perfect gifts for BOTH Tori and Chris
4. Get my studying done so I can
5. Watch "World's Strictest Parents" on TV

Yup. And that's gonna be my diem. I'm and going carpe it! You should, too :) This is the only April 18th 2009 you're ever gonna get.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Slaves and Studying

Last night was so much fun!!!!!!!

I had to skip dance, which was definitely NOT (I had to study), but I got to go with my parents to band practice for our church. After I studied, guess what I did? I PLAYED WITH THE LITTLE KIDS!! My favorite thing to do EVER! (Not really, but close.) That is so much fun, let me tell ya. Two nine year old boys and two seven year old girls.

Wow. It's weird thinking about how old they are now...I've known Ryan and Maddie since they were three and one, and Abby and Jarrod since they were four and six. THEY'RE SO BIG NOW!! I feel all...old or something, lol! Anyway.

We played--you'll NEVER GUESS--slaves.

YES, SLAVES! To some of you, you're like, "Oh, the big deal is that they played slaves. Okay. Got it." But the people who have known me since I was little know that it's a big deal because THAT'S WHAT MY FRIENDS AND I USED TO PLAY/DO, TOO. It felt so strange to be playing it again. Weirder than you can imagine. Like stepping back five or six years.

It was also weird because Ryan was a lot stronger than I remembered him being. In like two years or so, he's gonna be able to take me out. Which is weird, because I'm not exactly WEAK OR SOMETHING, and he's only NINE. And he's not, like, fat or anything (lols). So that was weird, because the first time me and Abby and Maddie tried to "escape" (we were the slaves, Ryan and Jarrod were the owners), I figured I would let the boys catch me, and then after a while, I'd just push them off of me and run away for real.

Only I tried and Ryan caught me by surprise, and then I was on the floor, blinking. Huh? Lol! It was hilarious. I was like "Wow, you are a lot stronger than I remembered." Of course, then I got up and outran him in like six steps and was ready for him the next time, but it was harder to get away than I expected. So yeah. It was just weird.

And now I'm thinking this has to be at least ONE OF the weirdest posts I've ever written. *shrug* I know it's weird that I like playing with little kids, and it's even weirder than we play SLAVES, but, hey, that's just me :) And it was really fun. You should try it sometime ;)

Also today, I saw someone I hadn't really seen in a long time. It was awesome. Not going to say more, but I think I already have in a post...let me find it...ah, here it is: Read that. And the comments. It explains it a little.

Studying went okay today. Physical science, not so great, American Government and memorizing my poem to say for the class are both going GREATLY!! So, I guess two and a half out of three isn't bad. Not bad at all.

"Mirror" still sucks, but I think I'm coming out of writer's block. Maybe. I started writing some of the sequel, and it's at least getting me out of the rut. The only problem is, I have such GREAT IDEAS for the sequel, and for the next generation, but I really, really, REALLY didn't want this to turn into a series. I really wanted to write ONE BOOK, and then just be DONE. But noooooooooooo. My characters have to keep having KIDS in my mind and cool stuff like that. And so much more. *moan*

Over all, it's been a KILLER two days. Despite exams. Who woulda thought, huh? Guess you never know. Carpe diem :)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

~ME~ By Kendra Logan

Here is the "about me" paper I had to write for school. I don't know what else to say, so I'm posting it. I hope you don't think I'm, like, being all annoying and "it's all about me" ish. Anyway, here it is; enjoy! :

As everyone here hopefully knows, my name is Kendra Logan, and I’m fifteen years old. When it comes to my having namesakes, there is not much to tell. I don’t really have a namesake except my aunt. Even so, my parents say they mostly chose my middle name because it sounds right with with Kendra. Overall, I like my name fine, but I frequently wish it were something more exciting and unique (it's not actually Kendra. I only use that for blogs :D). To my extended family, however, it is unique, because it isn’t a family name. My grandparents strongly wanted me to have a family name, but there were not many good ones to chose from. If I had been a boy and my parents had decided to go with a family name, I would have been called either Clyde Lester Logan, or Marvin Lee Logan. Thank goodness I was not a boy, and my parents decided not to stick with family names.

While I don’t particularly like the names of my ancestors, I do find my family history interesting. I have a hard time remembering much about the history of my dad’s side because everyone has so many nicknames! I have relatives who are called everything from Pineapple, to Red, to Cricket, to Joker, and many more names. This makes it difficult sometimes to follow who did what, but I actually like having such colorful characters for relatives. It makes family gatherings interesting, and gets my creative juices going. Someday I think I might writing something based off of my relatives. It would certainly be entertaining.

When I was little, I had a very vivid imagination. I’m sure most of you find that hard to believe. Whenever my two cousins would come over for the holidays, we would always play an imaginary game. Usually the game would revolve around us being poor and orphaned and having to fend for ourselves, although occasionally we would play Slaves. I don’t know why we played such dark games. Maybe it’s because we had such nice lives that we decided it was more fun to pretend the bad stuff. One specific instance I remember happened when I was about five years old. My cousins, Sarah, and I were playing poor people in the guest bedroom at my grandmother’s house. The guest bedroom is where most of our games took place. We were snooping around for things to use in our game, and we came across a box of pennies. We thought that would be perfect to use since poor people most likely only had pennies anyway. We played the game with the pennies all day and had fun, but when the grownups found out, they got very upset that we had touched someone else’s money. None of us understood what was so bad about playing with a bunch of pennies, and to this day I don’t know why. Maybe the pennies were special or something.

When I was little, I was very persuasive. I remember multiple times when I tricked the babysitter into letting me do things I wasn’t supposed to, but the funniest instance of all occurred when my grandparents were babysitting me. I was about two at the time. I told them I was thirsty, and so my grandfather and I went to the fridge to get something for me to drink. I spotted a bottle of lemon juice on the shelf in the refrigerator. “That,” I said. “I want some of that, please.” I can remember my grandfather’s confused and hesitant frown. “Your mother lets you drink lemon juice?” he asked. I put on my most solemn face and nodded. “Yes,” I said. After a moment of convincing, my grandfather poured me a Sippy cup of lemon juice. I’m not sure if he really believed me, or just decided to humor me, but either way, the lemon juice was awful. I remember thinking that next time I should probably be careful what I persuade people of.

Also when I was around two years old, I attended play practice for the Christmas play at my church. I was too little to have a part, but I went along anyway, I guess. During a break in practicing, the adults went aside to talk about some details and make some decisions. Meanwhile, I convinced the older children and teenagers to march around the sanctuary being camels. When the adults looked up from their planning, there was a train of teenagers stomping around the sanctuary pretending to be camels—with me at the front of the procession.

I don’t think my personality has changed much in the past ten or thirteen years. I still have an imagination and like to persuade people of things. Of course, I no longer act out the stories I come up with, I do write them down, and I enjoy playing imaginary games with little kids. I guess I’m still a six year old at heart. Of course, having a vivid imagination is great, I guess, but not so much when you’re home at night with only a little sister to keep you company.
When I was ten and Sarah was eight, my parents left us home for an hour or so to go to band practice at our church. Things were fine at home for a little while, but then Sarah and I heard a noise coming from my dad’s office. It sounded like my dad talking on the phone, so we weren’t bothered by that, until we remembered that our dad wasn’t home. Then we sort of freaked out a little. Sarah demanded that I go and check in my dad’s office to see if someone was there. After a lot of arguing and freaking out together, I did. I didn’t see anyone, but both of us were convinced we had heard someone. The rest of the night we kept hearing people! Upstairs, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in our parents’ bedroom. We finally decided that the intruders had to be invisible. It was the only explanation. I had actually been doing some research on invisibility cloaks for a story I was writing, so unfortunately I knew that being invisible was actually possible. Sarah and I ended up calling our parents, who were more than little ticked off at me for getting us both all scared. For a long time after that, I really believed that there were people in my house wearing invisibility cloaks. That’s definitely the downside to having a powerful imagination. Of course, my being persuasive didn’t help that situation much either.

This next story, like the previous one, deals a little with my imaginative side, but primarily with my persistent side. Behind the Long House, the place where my church meets, there is a “huge” dirt hill. At least, it was “huge” when my friends and I were nine years old. I played on that hill with my friends every chance I got. We played on it after church, after Wednesday night Bible study, even after the classes for our homeschool group that met at the Long House. We played slaves on it after church and Bible study, but after homeschool classes, the Hill became a place of war. We homeschool kids had divided ourselves into two teams, and we battled for control over the Hill. Needless to say, that hunk of dirt and weeds was a big part of our lives. We loved playing on it. It was the best playground imaginable. We had trails coming off of it, we had carved steps into the back side, there was a hole in the side for treasure, it was a kids paradise. That’s probably why the news of its planned demolition hit us so hard. Well, it hit me hard anyway. When I found out the Hill was scheduled to be destroyed and flattened out to make the Long House a prettier-looking place, I was devastated. I asked my dad if he would tell the bulldozer guy not to do it. My dad said that the hill really did need to go. It was ugly and not useful to anyone. I kept pestering him, though. Finally he told me that if I loved the hill so much, I should do something about it. I began plotting what to do, and decided that I would make a petition. I grabbed a piece of lined paper before homeschool group one day and labeled it Save The Hill. I went around telling the kids what I was doing, and before long, I had a ton of signatures. I did the same thing at church the next week. By the time I was finished, the paper had almost a hundred signatures. When the guy came to destroy the hill, I showed him the paper, and told him why we wanted the hill to stay. He actually listened to me, a little nine-year-old-girl. I finished explaining and held my breath. He shrugged. “Okay.” I was speechless. My idea had actually worked! The Dirt Hill is alive today, and still sitting happily behind the Long House.

As anyone who knows me well will tell you, I am a lover of words, or a logophile. Logophile comes from the Greek words “logos” meaning “word”, and “philos” meaning “loving”. I love writing, languages, names, and virtually anything that has to do with words. I want to eventually be fluent in Spanish, French, Italian, and Gaelic. I don’t just enjoy writing, I like finding the perfect word for what I’m feeling or trying to say. People often tell me that I sound like a walking dictionary, but I like being articulate even if it means sometimes people don’t understand the words I use. My being a logophile doesn’t only extend to writing stories; names are also very important to me. I love looking up names and their meanings.

While my personality has remained more or less the same all my life, I have certainly experienced many changes this year. I believe I’ve learned to harness my imagination and channel it into doing more constructive things. Instead of letting my imagination control me, I believe I’m now controlling it. This brings me to the first big character change I’ve had this year: I’ve become more practical and realistic. I still make silly choices sometimes and like to engage in crazy hypothetical conversations, but I think I’ve definitely grown away from the dreamy, unrealistic side of myself. I realized this most when I picked my favorite philosopher. I picked Plato almost out of habit. He focused on the “idea realm” and on things we can’t see. After doing research on Plato, I began to realized that he wasn’t my favorite philosopher at all! I really like Aristotle the best, for the very opposite reason I picked Plato: Aristotle is very concrete, realistic, and indisputably an empiricist. If I had to classify myself as a rationalist or an empiricist, I don’t necessarily think I would be a straight-up empiricist, but I do have some of those tendencies now. Instead of being the one to suggest unrealistic ideas or possibilities, I’m now the one who tries to bring people back to the real world and focus on what’s practical.

Besides the emotional change of becoming more realistic, I’ve grown intellectually this school year as well. With all the academically challenging work, it was impossible not to! Philosophy has had one of the greatest impacts on me. Through reading Sophie’s World, I feel I’ve opened my eyes to many new ways of thinking. Sophie’s World challenged my thinking and made me think about things I never had before. Through physical science, I’ve learned more about the universe around me than I ever knew before; it’s wonderful! I think debate has also greatly shaped me as a person. I believe the accountability and amount of work involved has made me a more diligent student. All the subjects studied this year have made me a different—and hopefully better—person intellectually.

I’m not sure how much I’ve changed socially over the course of this year, but I think I’ve become a bit easier to be around. I know I still have a lot to work on, but I believe I’ve become a less demanding person, and have learned to somewhat curb my know-it-all tendencies. I also have more friends outside of class than I ever have before. I’ve grown closer to my friends at dance, and am getting along better with my church friends also. Protocol gave me much-needed practice in the area of conducting myself in high-class social situations.

When I was younger, I had three goals for my future: becoming an artist, an orphanage keeper, and the first woman president. While my dreams now are a bit different, the general ideas of what I want to do are surprisingly similar. I guess when you’re little, you have a pretty good idea of what you want in life after all. Now, I want to be a writer, a lawyer, a kindergarten teacher and a mom.

I recently looked back at the “books” I made when I was a little kid. I would draw pictures and then tell my mom what to write under each picture. I thought that I wanted to be an artist because I loved to draw the pictures so much, but now I see that really I wanted to be a writer all along! I just thought I was being an artist, when I was really being an author even then.
I still think it would be challenging and exciting to be the president, but that is no longer what I want to do with my life. I’d rather be the world’s best lawyer! However, I’m not really sure how that will work out with the rest of my dreams for the future. If I chose to be a lawyer, I will be in school until I’m twenty-six years old. I don’t think it would be too difficult to balance being a writer and a lawyer, but being a mother and a law school student might be a bit too much to do simultaneously. Also, I’m wondering if it’s really best to dive into a heavy career so young. Is it even realistic to expect law firms to immediately promote me to a high position?

Recently I’ve been contemplating becoming a kindergarten teacher. I really love little kids, and teaching, so the idea of becoming a kindergarten teacher was surprisingly appealing. While this career possibility did not really occur to me until a few weeks ago, I think it is one that I might pursue.

Being a writer is my only goal for the future that has never shifted once. Even when I was a toddler, I wanted to be a writer, although I thought I wanted to be an artist. My other dreams have all changed or been dropped, but I have always wanted to write stories for other people to enjoy. Being a writer would take all three of my most prominent characteristics. It would use my imagination, my persistence and persuasiveness, and obviously my love for words. Because of all these events and passions pointing to my becoming a writer, I do believe it is the one goal that I am certain about. I firmly believe that God’s purpose for me has at least something to do with my being a writer. While all my other career goals and dreams may shift and change, I think being a writer is something that will always be close to my heart.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


*grins* VICTORY! I think I aced both my Latin and my philosophy exams!! Yay! I studied hard, and I think it paid off. Let's hope :) Now all I have to do is take an exam on my second worst subject: physical science, and my third worst subject: American government. *moan* It's not over yet, that's for sure.

But I'm surprisingly really sad about the end of school. Some people I never thought I'd miss, I'm going to miss. I was just thinking about it in class today, and it was. . .just really sad. I wish I could be more specific, but I don't feel like I can since everyone can read this. I'm just really sad. Because I firmly believed that my class was going to graduate together. We love each other. I thought. But it might just be me. I don't know. I can't tell. I'm probably just a more sentimental person than the rest of them. But anyway, this whole saying-goodbye-maybe-forever thing is really sad. I actually cried last night.

Okay. Enough about my crazy emotions. Let's talk about something else. . .like. . .like. . .

Okay, well, we had to write a paper for literature that was about ourselves. It really helped me to evaluate where I am in life, where I have been, and where I want to go. The paper had to include some of our ancestry, our namesakes (if we had any), and what our name means.

Then, we had to give three stories from when we were ages birth to five years old. This kind of helped us see our "real" selves. Because when you're little, you aren't trying to impress people, you aren't trying to fit in, you're innocent and ignorant. You can see the real you. Sort of the un-cut, un-edited ME.

Then, we had to give three of our character traits, with stories to illustrate them. It was interesting to see the parallels between my three most prominent characteristics and the stories from when I was little. It was weird to see that I haven't really changed all that much. (My three character traits were persistent/persuasive, imaginative, and a logophile [lover of words].)

The next section of the paper, we had to talk about the changes we've experienced this school year. Socially, emotionally, intellectually, etc. This was a real eye-opener for me. I mean, you would think you know yourself pretty well, but when you HAVE to really analyze yourself and put thought into how you've changed, it's interesting to see what you come up with. I've become more open-minded this year, mostly due to the semester in philosophy, I think. (Look back at Berkeley. He thought that maybe we only exist in the mind of God. Wow. What a crazy new idea! Weird!)

And lastly, dreams for the future. My personal dreams are to be a writer, a lawyer, a mom, and possibly a kindergarten teacher. I just really, really, REALLY love little kids. So much. So I think that would be a good profession for me. But I don't know. . .Maybe sometime if I don't know what to post, I'll just post my paper or something. Although I might have to leave our the ancestry because I gotta keep my identity safe, lol! Sorry :D

Writing that paper was surprisingly fun, and just FULL of self-discovery. I really think it's something that everyone should do once in their lifetime, preferably when you're younger-ish, lol! It's a really good way to get to know yourself and see where you are in life. Sorry if I sound really dreamy and all head-in-the-clouds. It's actually a pretty concrete way to look at your life, though.

Well, ttyl! Carpe diem! I am SOOOO tired.

Monday, April 13, 2009

If You Read All This, I'll Give you a Million Dollars (Just Kidding)

In honor of the philosophy (and Latin) final(s) tomorrow, I am going to use this post to study for my philosophy exam. Bear with me. You might actually find this interesting. I did.

Democritus was the first really note-worthy philospher. Of course, he came from Greece, because that's where philosophy really started. The Greeks began to have time to do fun stuff like ponder the origin of life because their culture and government was so secure then, that the people didn't have to fight to survive 24/7. They could stop and smell the roses as it were. Or think. Which is what Democritus did.

Democritus, believe it or not, was the first person to come up with the concept of "atoms". If I'm not mistaken, that word comes from some Greek word that means "uncuttable". Democritus imagined atoms as being sort of like Legos: small (only atoms were obviously WAY smaller), different shapes and colors (as well as textures), and with little hooks and barbs so they could fit together. Democritus figured this was how everything was made. Atoms of different textures and colors hooked together to make things. Democritus was also a materialist, which means he thought that matter is all there is. He believed that humans have no afterlife, and no soul.

The next great Greek philosopher (or really just the next great one period), is Socrates. Hopefully you've at least HEARD of him. You might recognize his name from the idea of the "Socratic Method", which is asking questions to help someone learn. Also "Socratic Irony" which is taking the opposite position from what you believe to help your opponent figure out why he believes something.

Socrates was very enigmatic and got on peoples' nerves. He was also extremely ugly (think pot-bellied with piggish eyes). Socrates believed that "he who knows right will do right." I thought what you are thinking at first, too. You're thinking "That's ridiculous. Murderers know that it's wrong to kill other people, and yet they do it anyway! Little kids know not to eat out of the cookie jar, and they still do."

The way Socrates saw it is this: everyone wants to be happy, right? And you are never happy when you know you've done the wrong thing, correct? So, you will do the right thing FOR YOU, because you want to be happy. Socrates was big on saying that there isn't exactly a "right" and a "wrong." He thought there can be right for you, and right for me, and they don't necissarily have to be the same to both be right for each of us. Make sense? So, I will do ''my right" in order to make myself happy, and you will do "your right" to may yourself happy. So, since we know right, we will do right because that makes us feel good. Does that make sense?

Socrates opposed the leading intellectual people of his time, the Sophists. Sophists were not philosophers because they did not seek new knowledge. They were very stuck in their own ways and extremely uncurious (is that word?). Because Socrates irritated people, mainly the Sophists, they found some little loophole reason for arresting him and condeming him to death by way of drinking hemlock.

Next, we have Plato. Plato was sort of Socrates's apprentice. He somewhat followed Socrates's ideas. Plato believed that somewhere, there is an "idea world" with one of every species in it. One horse, one chicken, one cow, etc. And that "idea horse" is perfect. It's like the average of all the horses on Earth. Sort of like the perfect horse. Plato believed that all the animals here on Earth were imperfect reflections of the perfect animals in the "idea world." This story may help you understand:

Once upon a time (hehe), there were four guys who were chained up in a small cave. They had their backs to the opening of the cave, so they were staring at the back wall, and had been all their lives. The only thing to entertain them were the shadows of creatures flickering on the cave wall. Of course, since the guys had never been able to turn around and see the real creatures, they thought the shadows were the real thing. One day, a guy managed to get lose from his chains. He turned around and saw the real creatures! He was super surprised and very excited. (This free guy would represent Plato.) The real creatures were so much more interesting and colorful and perfect than the dull shadows he had always thought were real. He went back to the cave and tried to tell the others about what the shadows really were, but they wouldn't believe him. He grew so persistent and so irritating that the other guys eventually just killed him.

Some people believe this sad ending was inspired by Socrates's unfair death.

Aristotle was mentored by Plato. He went to his academy for almost twenty years. However, Aristotle did not carry on Plato's idea. Aristotle thought that Plato needed to get his head out of the clouds and look at reality. Aristotle thought that the real world was the physical world. I did my philosophy presentation on Aristotle, so I don't really need to study on him much. And I've already put one post about him here. So I'm not going to say any more, lol!

Now it's time for Jesus. I don't need to study up on him either because I'm a Christian and know quite enough to pass a test on Jesus! But I'll say a few things: Jesus's main idea was taht God provides relationships with God through Christ (Jesus). Jesus said that the two most important things in the world were to love God, and love people. Jesus also stressed the fact that DOING GOOD THINGS DO NOT GET YOU TO HEAVEN. Only trusting and having a relationship with Jesus can do that. Forgivness doesn't come through a priest; it comes from asking Jesus. Jesus also preached that we are all sinners, and none of us deserve to live with God after we die, but Jesus loves us so much that he took the penalty for our sins so we wouldn't have to. Now, if we accept this gift of eternal life, we can live with God when we die!

Next comes Augustine. He basically just Christianized Plato's philosophy. He said that Plato's "idea realm" stuff was absolutely correct, only instead of there being a parallel world of ideas, the "idea realm" was God's mind.

Next we have St. Thomas Aquinas. You've probably heard of him, too. He Christianized Aristotle's philosophy, and thought he could prove the existence of God using that philosophy. He also believed that what we think and what we see go hand in hand in discerning the truth. Kind of like a thunderstorm. We both hear the thunder and see the lightning. The two senses don't contradict one another, but enforce each other. Aquinas thought that we can eventually figure out the truth by just thinking about it or looking around us, but it's better if we use both talents: thinking and experiencing.

I'm sure you've all heard of Martin Luther (not King, just regular Martin Luther). He began the Protestant Reformation. A long time ago, the Bible was only printed in Latin, and only the priests could read Latin. How convenient, right? Well, Luther began to get the idea that the priest were making things up. The priests kept telling people that if the people paid the priests money, the priests would ask God to forgive their sins. Kind of like buying forgiveness. Luther decided to investigate that himself. He learned to read Latin, and read the Bible first-hand. Guess what? He was right! The priests were making stuff up. The Bible clearly says that salvation/forgiveness comes by faith alone. Not by buying forgiveness (indulgences). Each person can be his own priest, Luther thought. Everyone can talk to God themselves, no priest necessary.

Descartes is next. As is obvious from the silence of most of the letters (it's pronounced day-CART), he was French (hehe). He was a rationalist, which means he relied on his thinking rather than the five senses. He believed that our senses can decieve us, so it's better just to ignore them altogether. The more he studied, the more ignorant he saw himself as being. He also believed that philosophies should start out simple and work toward complex. He doubted everything until he could prove to himself that it was true. After all, how can you build a reliable philosophy if you don't make sure everything you're building it on is true?

Spinoza is definitely one of the most confusing philosophers. I barely have any notes on him. All I can really tell you is that he believed that God or nature was the cause of all things. I guess he's saying that the laws of nature are already instilled in everything, so things are kind of on auto-pilot now. Spinoza also thought that the Bible wasn't God-inspired. He thought we should let go of our feelings and passions, because they cloud our judgement. He was a rationalist, using his thinking skills and reason to decide things.

Locke is really cool! I especially like his philosophy, mostly because it makes so much sense to me. He thought that before humans experience things, our mind is a blank slate, or a "tabula rasa", which is "blank slate" in Latin. Locke says that humans have two kinds of ideas: simple, and complex. Let's use an apple for an example. The concept of "an apple" is a complex idea, because within that one idea, there are many smaller pieces: crisp, juicy, green, etc. Those smaller ideas are "simple" ideas. It takes us a long time before we can put together a complex idea. I mean, when you're little, all you have is simple ideas. You don't think, "I am eating an apple." You think, "I am eating something crisp, juicy and green." It takes us many apple-eatings to get to where we bundle those three sensations together and form the complex idea of "apple". Make sense?

Locke also said that there are primary extensions and secondary extensions. Primary extensions are things that everyone can agree on about an object. Its shape, number, weight, and things like that. Secondary extensions are sort of oppinions. Color, taste, smell, and sound are secondary extensions. Your friend might think an orange tastes sour, while you think it's sweet. I might say something is black, but you might insist that it's not; it's only a very dark green.

Hume is possibly one of my favorite philosophers. He built off of Locke a little bit, using the simple and complex theory. Hume also had some original thoughts, though. The first is the idea of "impressions" and "ideas". An impression is an immediate sensation. Let's say you bang your hand on the table. It hurts. That's your "impression". Later, when you're explaining to your mom why your hand has this giant black bruise on it, you remember the pain of hitting the table. This remembering is your "idea". The idea is the recollection of an impression.

Hume was an agnostic, which means he wasn't saying that there isn't a God, he just didn't know that there was either. Kind of an undecided sort of guy. He was big on saying that almost nothing is certain. You can't be sure that every time you drop a rock, it will fall. Why not? Because you haven't dropped it EVERY time. You can't REALLY know until you've done it every time it will ever be done. And that's humanly impossible. Just because you've only ever seen black crows doesn't mean that sometime somewhere there was a white one.

Hume also pointed out that it's no fun for a toddle to see the laws of nature defied, because he doesn't even know the laws yet. If a baby saw a guy floating in midair, he would think, "Oh, how interesting. Moving on." If you or I saw a guy floating in midair, we would think something more like, "OH MY GOSH!! IS HE SERIOUSLY FLOATING??"

Hume also stated that you cannot draw conclusions from "is" sentences to"ought" sentences. Example: "That man is suffering. We ought to help him." Hume argued that that was not good reasoning.'s really, really, REALLY hard to explain. It does make sense when it's explained properly. If you're dying to know, I suggest going to page 275-277 in the book Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder.

Alrighty. Now for Berkeley. His philosophy is really very interesting. He suggested that we might all be in God's head. Now, WAIT. Before you freak out and say "THAT IS NOT TRUE! WE'RE REAL! WE'RE REAL!", just listen. This is much easier apparently for writers to understand than non-writers. I'm not trying to be conceited, I'm just saying what I've noticed. If you're a writer, think about your characters. You created them, right? Just like God created us. And the characters aren't exactly real, but they do exist in your head, right? I mean, they might exist on paper or on the computer, too, but they aren't actual flesh and blood. They are flesh and blood in your mind, and they have their families and friends and houses in your head, but not in the actual world. According to Berkeley's philosophy, we are like God's "characters", existing in the mind of God, but not in the actual world. What we hear, see, feel is only real to us because we've never experience real real stuff. Make sense? Okay.

Next comes Kant. His philosophy isn't very complicated I don't think. His main thought was the Categorical Imperative. It's kind of like the Golden Rule. He thought you should act as if everyone in the world would do the same. So, pretty much "Do unto other as you would have them do unto you." Next philosopher.

Hegel. Hegel made up a method for understanding the process of history. It's actually very clear in just these philosophers. Hegel said that someone comes up with an idea (a thesis), then someone else comes up with their own idea, which is the complete opposite of guy #1's theory (an antithesis). Then, along comes Mr. Compromise and he makes up an new theory that takes the good parts from both theories and puts them together (a synthesis). Think about Plato's "idea realm". Aristotle comes along and says, "What a wack-o. The physical world is CLEARLY the real world." Then along comes goold ol' Aquinas who says, "Wait, wait. They're BOTH right. We should think things through like Plato did, but Aristotle was right, too. We need to pay attention to our senses as well." Remember that. The Hegelian Dialect. Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.

Almost done. Only four philosophers to go.

Here comes...SOREN KIERKEGAARD!! Bleck. Sorry, but I really don't like Kierkegaard. Besides his name being so hard to type, I barely understand his philosophy. Pleaseohpleaseohplease don't let me have to know a ton about him on the exam!! Anyway. He reacted agains the idealistic philosophy of Spinoza. (Go figure. I also don't get Spinoza very well.) Kierkegaard thought that truth was subjective. He also believed that there are kind of three ways or stages of living: aesthetic (trying to beautify stuff) (WHAT?! My notes are not helping so much here...); then ethical (when you learn to filter your thoughts and actions and do what's right); and religious (taking your thinking to a deeper spiritual level). Wow. Okay, done with Kierkegaard. (I deserve a medal for typing that correctly like four times!)

Here comes Marx. Who's actually fairly interesting. He saw that there was a struggle between owners and workers. He also thought that capitalism is temporary (that's definitely debatable). As far as I can tell, Marx was a very practical guy. He thought that the material changes are what really affect history, not as much the idealistic changes. He thought the way people think is closely related to what kind of work they do. Which sounds pretty plausible to me. He said that it's mainly the rulers and most influential social class that set the norm for right and wrong.

Next we have Darwin. Now, I KNOW y'all have all heard of Darwin. He believed that life evolves over millions of years through mutations and natural selection without God. He went to the Galapogos Islands once and saw for himself the variations between the different birds and stuff. After doing more research, he figured that animals must change and adapt to their surroundings. This makes sense to me, the only real problem being, where did the very first organism that started this whole thing come from?

LAST PHILOSOPHER! If you're still reading, give me your address and I'll send you a million dollars. Haha, just kidding, but seriously, I'll probably have a heart attack from surprise if any of you made it this far. Tell me if you did, okay? Just so I know. :D

Freud is another one of my favorites. He deals with dreams and stuff. I'm super tired of this, though, and even though it's five-thirty, I have A TON of studying and stuff to do still, so I'm gonna make this tragically brief: He thought we tried to surpress bad thoughts, and so if we try hard enough, we eventually forget bad things. However, he thought that somewhere in our minds are the memories of everything we've ever done. Even as a little kid. And as a psychiatrist, he tried to get people to remember these deeply burried thoughts. He also said that dreams are wish fulfillment. If we can't or shouldn't do something in real life, Freud said our subconsciousness would bring out the desires in a dream.

Freud also had an idea of the three "stages" of being sort of. The id, the ego, and the superego. Newborn babies have almost nothing but id, which is the quest for pleasure and comfort. Then comes the ego, when we learn what's bad and try not to do those things. Then the superego tries to get rid of our bad desires altogether by shoving them into our subconscious, where only dreams and certain mental exercises can bring them out.

Whew! There. I'm done. Now, tell me if you got to the end of this. I will scream in shock.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Spring Hormones

I did yard work today :D Sort of. Not, like, extreme labor or anything, but I did plant flowers and stake out a spot for my vegetable garden. I'm having crazy cravings for growing things lately. I want something to take care of. So I'm going to have a vegetable garden with tomatoes, squash, zucchini, spinach, and possibly some kind of bean or something. I'm excited :D :D

There was a thunderstorm yesterday afternoon!!! :D I LOVE thunder storms. They're so awesome. They're like power and beauty incarnate. So awesome.

My dad was fixing the invisible fence for our dog today. You know, burrying the wire in the woods and stuff. And while he was doing that, his cell phone slipped off its little clip on his belt. He didn't notice until he was finished and his cell phone was missing. He was going to just walk around the woods with another cell phone, calling his phone, and listening for his ringtone, but he was afraid he might not be able to hear it ringing. So, he asked me to come help him listen for it. I grabbed my cell phone and we went to the edge of the woods. I called his phone, and heard it ringing. It was far away. He said he couldn't hear it at all. It was really kind of fun because he had to totally rely on me since he couldn't hear the ringing at all. We did find the phone after a while, and it was about seventy-five feet from where we'd started. It made me feel good that he'd needed me so much :)

I had this awesome dream last night that I was part of a HUGE family. With, like, ten kids. I could only remember two names when I woke up, though, and none of the plot. Darn. It would have made a great story, I remember that much. I might try to pull something together for a story anyway since Creepy is going so crappy (crappily??). Oh, and the two names I remember were Penelope, who was my older sister, and Evangelina, who was my oldest sister's daughter. So, my neice. Weird.

Well, that's all mostly. I helped my mom cook today. Voluntarily. Something is wrong with my hormones or something. I'm all into cooking and taking care of stuff lately. It's kind of freaking me out. 'Cause I'm so not the cooking, house-keeping, planting type. *frown* It's weird. Oh well. I'll let you know if anything really DRASTIC happens. TTYL! CARPE DIEM!

And don't forget to read Carpe Noctem. The topic for this week is...Weird vs. Normal: Does the Problem Even Exist?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Quick Quote (don't neglect looking at the previous post just because this one is more recent)

"All that is gold does not glitter
not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R. Tolkien

I just love this for some reason.

Skillz--That I don't Apparently Have

I fixed dinner tonight. An actual dinner. Like, not frozen pizzas or eggs or soup. Spaghetti. Sort of. My mom helped kind of a lot. It was weird. Because, I'm really good at a lot of things, so I figured cooking wouldn't be a problem. Well, let me tell ya,

it's a lot more work than I thought.

And it actually takes skillz. Skillz that I do not yet possess. I didn't burn the noodles or anything, but I was suprised at how difficult it was to multi-task in the kitchen! I can make soup and talk on the phone and quiz homework at the same time, but I sure can't make toast, put noodles in a pot, chop the ground beef, put the sauce on and set the table at the same time! HELP! Lol!

"Mirror" is still going HORRIBLY.

I took a bunch of quizes on Facebook instead of writing, haha! So far my fruit is a banana, I'm Darth Vador, a Genius, a class II cop, I almost escape a zombie attack, I'm Peter Pevensie (from Narnia), am a true southerner, am going to have four kids, have a great name, my true age is 11-20 years old, am most ceceptable to the sin greed, am Obi-Wan Kenobi, I'm the state Kansas, and am a Lovely Lady (yeah right). Yeah. I went quiz crazy :D

*sigh* Not writing sucks :'( I hope I can figure out what happens next soon...

We're going to watch "Get Smart" tonight :D Love that movie. So funny. So quotable! "Did you say SIIIIIIIIIIGFREEEEEEEEEEEEID?" LOL! "SSSSon of a hampster!" Lols, if you haven't seen it, you should!

Bye! Carpe diem!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's THAT Time of Year

Well, folks, it's here.

Exam week.

Actually two of them. This week and next week. It's the time of year (for me) when I really wish I'd paid more attention in class. And at home. And just generally.

This also means the end of school is in two weeks for me (or maybe it's three...not sure). I know, I know. Go ahead and scream "WHAT?!?!?! LUCKYYYYYYYYYYY!" But it's not like this year was easy for me or anything. I HAVE actually worked hard. Very hard. This has been a challenging year. Challenge I (ninth grade) is supposed to be the hardest of the highschool years, though, so maybe next year will be better. I get to take logic again next year, so it can't be all bad! Yippee! :) I'm such a nerd, lol!

Here's the bad news: in two-or-three-can't-remember-which weeks, I WON'T SEE MUCH OF ANY OF MY FRIENDS! Crap!! I love seeing people. I love hanging out. I love laughing and learning with my classmates. Sure, we'll get together over the summer, but there probably won't be one single time when EVERYONE is there. There will always be the person who couldn't make it. *sigh*

I also found out some bad stuff about a friend. Well, sort of. I sort of found out and he/she (not saying which) is sort of my friend. More like an aquaintace, and "found out" is more like heard it in gossip, but I can totally believe it. It's sad, but I think it might be true. *sigh again* Oh well.

Okay, for the heck of it, I'm going to tell you how my school system works. We call each grade level something different than most schools:

Foundations/Grammar (elementary school):
Abecedarians (infant through kindergarten)
Apprentices (1st and 2nd grade)
Journeymen (3rd and 4th grade)
Masters (5th and 6th grade)

Middle School/Dialectic (middle school):
Challenge A (7th grade)
Challenge B (eighth grade)

High school/Rhetoric (high school):
Challenge I (ninth grade/freshman)
Challenge II (tenth grade/sophmore)
Challenge III (eleventh grade/junior)
Challenge IV (twelfth grade/senior)

Haha, random. But whatever. I thought easier to understand some stuff I say if I explained that.

"Mirror" is going, to put it mildly, terribly. I haven't written much in over a week. I have no idea where this is going anymore. And I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to finish this story. I don't want it to be another Oh-well-that-was-okay-but-now-I’ve-lost-interest-and-it-doesn’t-really-matter-anymore story. I actually really LIKE this one. *moan*

Hmm. I don't mean to be so mopey. Some stuff is going okay. Dance is going well. I can ALMOST do the split I've been trying to do for THREE STINKIN' WEEKS. Today may be the day. I'm going to try really hard before dance tonight.

Studying is going as well as studying can go. I'm working hard and trying and retaining for the most part. Haven't even BEGUN to try with science though. I'm thinking next week is going to be horror on a stick.

There I go, being all depressing again. I'm not depressed, really; I'm just stating the facts and they aren't all that cheery right now.

Finished "The Boxcar Children" and "The Princess Bride." The former was pretty much what I expected. The latter wasn't. I always forget how disappointing the ending is. *shrug* Oh well. It's still good. Just don't read it for the amazing plot or anything. It's more like creative entertainment. I still love it and recommend it to anyone.

I should go. I'm actually done with school work (I even did math well today :D), but I'm rambling and I don't really have anything else to say. Bye!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Something of Substance

Posting about how I used to post "deeper" stuff made me think about changing. More specifically, ME changing.

When you're little, it seems like you never do. I mean, there doesn't seem to be much change between age four and five, or really six or seven either. And on your birthday, when people as "How does it feel to be fifteen?" Or fourteen, or seven, or eighty-nine, etc. Your answer is always (or at least mine was): "Fine. Not much different." So (follow me on this, okay? Logical syllogism coming through), if four is the same-feeling as five, and five is the same-feeling as six, then four and six are the same-feeling, too, right? And then if six is the same-feeling as seven, and seven is the same-feeling as eight, then it would seem that four and eight are the same-feeling, too!

But that can't be right! Surely there's a difference between four and eight! Everyone knows there is. Plenty of differences.

Okay, so there ARE differences. But they don't apparenly take place on your actual birthday when you are officially a year older. They must be gradual changes throughout the year. Which sort of sucks because then we'll never be able to recognize them, right?


A little over a year ago (on December 16th, 2007), I decided to conduct a little experiment. On myself. (Bwahahaha) You know those annoying fill-outs that you get in your email about every three weeks? You know what I mean. The ones that ask: What's your favorite color? Where were you born? How many houses have you lived in? What's your least favorite food? Do you wash your hair with grape scented shampoo or cherry? And blah blah blah.


I combined a bunch of those quizzes in my journal. I created my own ultimate fill-out. It was over 100 questions. Then I filled it out (duh). And I started journaling. I wrote in my journal every day (almost) for an entire year. And I made it a rule that I COULD NOT read over any past journal entries. Once the page was flipped, it STAYED flipped. Until a year had passed. I wasn't "allowed" to read my journal until December 16th 2008.

Well, it was supposed to be just one journal. I actually filled up ten whole journals before the year was up. Yeah. TEN.

When the year was up, I went back to that very first journal and copied the questions of the fill out into the journal I was writing in. I didn't look at my answers, I just copied the fill out. Then I filled it out (duhhh). Then I compared answers to PROVE to myself that I DO change over the course of a year. And once I had confirmed that I had changed, I could go back and read through the journals and analyze when exactly the different changes had taken place.

I was actually surprised. I changed in more ways than I knew, and in more subtle ways than I would have guessed. It was a really interesting experiment, and I "learned" a lot. I also really like having all my memories written down. I'll never lose them that way. Even if I forget, I still have a way to remember.

You should be able to tell by now that memories and remembering are very important to me. One of my biggest fears is simply "forgetting." I dislike change, in any way, shape or form, so it's important to me that I at least REMEMBER the way things used to be. Change is the worst when you feel like things were JUST FINE the way they were, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I've been through countless changes that took me from my "perfect" life to a "totally crappy" one.

The bad thing is, I never seem to be able to recognize my having the "perfect" life until I've moved on to the "crappy" one. I'm terrible at not living in the moment. I always live in the past. At least I used to. I'm getting better.

But it IS hard to let go of things that I loved so much. Mostly I'm thinking about people. Not really stuff or places, although moving was pretty big and I still wake up confused sometimes. Every time I think things are great and I'm finally doing/being/having what I want, BOOM! stuff just HAS to change.

Which is why it's important to realize how good you have it BEFORE it gets worse. And then, the "worse" will eventually seem pretty cool. (And then stuff changes again, but whatever :D) The trouble is just recognizing when you've got it good. Things can always get better, but they can get worse, too, so live in the moment once in a while. Enjoy what you've got. Cause sooner or later,

it's gonna be gone.


I follow too many blogs. But I don't just go around following random stuff. I actually DO read them. All of them. Every day (or almost).

I should go back to working on my research paper that's due tomorrow. Yeah. The austism one. Maybe I'll post it when I'm done. *shrug* I don't know.

It's raining. And also sunny. Today is a freak of nature.

Something wrong with something to do with wires in our house. These guys just came and had to bust out a little piece of the wall in my closet to fix it. They better not have messed up my stuff.

I didn't really plan to post anything. I just randomly clicked "new post" and started doing this. I really don't have anything to say.

Something is wrong with me. I never post serious stuff anymore. It's all really goofy and random. I should get back to posting stuff of substance. I will.

You know...later...

Carpe diem.


Ooh! I thought of something of substance to say!! But not right now. Right now, I'm going to do my school work. Math, research paper, and...*checks schedule*...literature mostly today. Bye. For now. Remind me I have something of substance to say. (I'm gonna forget what it is if I don't leave a hint for myself, so here goes: changing, growing up, for granted. 'Kay. Bye).

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sunny Sundays and Protocol!

So, today was AWESOME.

Sunny, warm, church was good, I'm reading "The Princess Bride", which is SO FUNNY!! I recommend it to anyone. Anyone. Girls, boys, little kids, big kids, old ladies, everyone. (And if any elderly women are reading this, please don't be offended by that last bit :D)

Right now my parents and little sister (Lizzy) are riding bikes. Why am I not riding my bike and getting the heck some exercise? Because my stomach hurts. But it's all good. Today's greatness makes up for any physical discomforts.

Today I sort of had an older brother. Not going to elaborate, but let's just say it felt good. Older brothers are the thing I envy above all else. There is not much I wouldn't give to have a real brother. For now I just have to create stories with older brothers and pretend they're real. And sometimes I dream that I have an older brother, which is always fantastic. Except then I wake up a little depressed because it was a dream. But not too depressed because it was such an awesome dream.

I need to get a grip. I'm rambling. Majorly. And using weird, big words. *shrugs* I'm also reading the first book in "The Boxcar Chilrden" series. That might be why I'm talking kind of like an old-timey person. I don't really like the Boxcar Children, but the first book in the loooooooooong series is great because the kids fend for themselves in the woods and live in a boxcar and do lots of cool stuff with NO ADULT SUPERVISION!! What could be better?? :) Anyway, the rest of the books get on my nerves because they aren't living in the wild anymore. (Spoiler alert) They're living with their super nice grandpa and solve predictable mysteries in which all the adults involved are really nice and helpful and unrealistic. The kids also never say a cross word to each other, which is, HELLO, also very unrealistic. Even the nicest kids EVER have little arguments here and there. Except apparently not the BCs, of course.

My stomach is feeling much better. Now I wish I were outside riding my bike while the warm and sunniness lasts. (Is "sunniness" a word? I don't think so.)

"The Mirror" is at a standstill. It's not super depressing to me or anything, just a little annoying. I'm at the point where my mental outline is kind of fuzzy, and I don't really even know how to solve the problems I've created. (Don'tcha HATE that? When you make problems and conflicts SO STINKIN' GOOD that you can't even solve them for your own poor characters?? Haha, I'm probably the only one that's ever happened to...) And I don't really know how I want it to all end up...*sigh*

Oh, guess what?? I went to a fancy restaurant and an opera on Friday!! The whole thing was called Protocol, and it's something the high-schoolers in my homeschool program do. We get all dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant with a four course dinner and everything. And we have to act nice and use good manners :) I can do that. Believe it or not, I'm actually quite good at the fine points of ettiquette (even if I can't spell it). I even kept my cool when the guy served us fried green tomatoes with goat cheese. You think I'm kidding. I am NOT. It was NASTY. Unfortunately, some kids at my table were obviously particularly skilled in the good manners department. Their display of unseemly conduct was mildly embarassing and irritating. *shakes head* The opera was surprisingly really fun. It was called "The Marriage of Figaro" and it was a comedy. A romantic comedy. The story was good, although I don't think it would work for anything but an opera. It was, of course, sung in Italian, and the English translation was flashed on a banner above the stage. It was cool. And fun.

Well, I've wasted probably about ten minutes of your day. I won't waste any more :) Off to go read about either the most beautiful woman in the world and how her blood-thirsty fiance tries to ruin her life and the life of the man she loves (the highly recommended "Princess Bride") or about four disgustingly well-behaved orphan children surviving in the woods alone ("Boxcar Children")! Bye!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Where I Belong...Anywhere?

Okay, I know I already blogged once to day with "deep" thoughts, but I have more to say, and it's sort of tied to the "fitting in" thing I was talking about in the last post.

This sounds really crazy, but sometimes I don't feel like I belong at all. Like, anywhere. I'm so weird and different from everyone, it almost seems like I wasn't made for here. I'm not saying I'm special or something, just weird. Whenever I hear songs about being home or where you belong, I always get this longing for MY place. Somewhere that I can say "This is where I belong." I don't have that anywhere. I love my friends and they accept me, but I still don't feel like I'm home all the time. It's weird.

*in announcer voice* This post inspired by...

"Home" by Switchfoot. Link: (This song is also PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for my book "The Mirror". So, if you actually click the link and listen to it, keep in mind that it's kind of what my book is about, too :)


"Country Roads" by I have no idea. But here's the hilarious chipmunk version that I love :)

Walks, Green, and Fitting In


And I fully intended to go on a walk on the trails today before lunch, but then (this is lame), I found this movie on TV that I love and just had to watch it. So much for a walk.

Oh well. Still might happen. As soon as I'm done with this post I'm going to go out on the porch and see if it's warm enough to go out in wet hair (just took a shower).

Anyway, today is EARTH DAY! I think. I'm pretty sure. If I'm wrong, tell me, but for all intents and purposes, today is Earth Day on Carpe Diem :)

I am not a tree-hugger. I can see why some people are, and it's always made me sad to see huge areas of forest be chopped down in their prime to make way for WHAT?! another WAL-MART?! Don't we have one like, I don't know, TEN MINUTES FROM HERE?!


I'm not an official tree-hugger, but I have some tendancies toward being one (I love the Pocahantas song "Colors of the Wind" :D). I might actually BE a tree-hugger if it weren't for all the annyoing "GO GREEN!" crud all over. (Actually, I would probably still not be a tree hugger. I like books too much. [Get it? Books. Paper. Comes from trees. Okay, sorry. That was really lame and stupid and not even funny, but at least I realize that.]) There are entire children's TV shows dedicated to GOING GREEN!! Give me a break. It's just gotten kind of annoying. I can see how once upon a time it was important to educate people about harming the environment, but we've all gotten the message by this point. See Carpe Noctem for my full rant ;)

Besides all that interesting stuff, I have a couple more things to say:

I think I'm going to have a vegetable garden this summer. It seems like a fun and productive way to get outside and do something. I like growing things, too, I just, like...never do, lol!

And thing number two: to raise money for the summer mission trip for my youth group, we're having a Parents' Night Out tonight! You drop off your kids from 5:30pm to 10:00pm and go out to dinner or whatever! Then you donate to our "cause". It's sooooooooo much fun!!! I am such a little-kid-lover, and being a seven-year-old at heart doesn't hurt either :) I love playing dogeball, giving piggy-back rides, solving litte-kid problems, being in charge (bwahahaha), and getting to show my inner little kid without being looked at funny by all the girls my age.

In other words, having an excuse to be who I actually am.

Maybe I seem like a pretty out-there, carefree, non-conformist kind of person, but actually the desire to fit in is close to my heart. I've always been labled either the weird, home-schooled writer freak or the weird girl who plays with little kids instead of hanging out with kids her OWN AGE. (By the way I have gotten a lot better at not doing that. I actually do hang out with my own friends before church now, and the little kids are more than a little ticked off about that.) Now, a lot of people still talk to me and mostly accept me, but there's always that look in their eyes and that edge in their voice that tells me they think they're doing me a favor by talking to me. Some days are worse than others. This is one reason why I love my class so much. They will always "love" me for who I am.

Sorry to go all mushy on you. I'm in a really strange mood today.

Well, it's sunny and looks warm and my hair is drier now, so I'm gonna go take that walk. In other words,

Carpe the diem :)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

OH NO!!!!!

Oh no!

My beautiful custom-colored blue walls!

I was putting this corkboard thing up and the sticky-tabs to hold it in place are super strong, so I tested them on a little place in the corner to make sure it wouldn't wreck the walls. It didn't. So I put the corkboard up. I hated it. So I took it down.


THE PAINT COMPLETELY CAME OFF AND LEFT NASTY CARDBOARD STUFF STUCK TO IT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ruined the walls!!!!!!!! The paint was custom made!!!!!!! We can just repaint it! And even if we could, you would see strokes all over the spot!!!!! I've ruined my beautiful walls! My perfect room is wrecked!!!

Oh, I'm so sad and upset :'(