o_o \>//stress\\

20 Things History Class Has Taught Me This Week
301. I hold my breath when I’m stressed.
302. “Sovereignty” is hard to spell.
303. It is completely possible—and not uncommon—to fight for the right thing in the wrong way.
304. Making 56 billion typos every 6 words makes me want to scream.
305. I love Wikipedia.
306. Politicians have always been this way.
307. The computer screen starts to hurt your eyes after 3 hours.
308. I still don’t like Lincoln that much.
309. It is the “Gadsden” Purchase, not the “Gadson.”
310. I seriously do love Wikipedia.
311. Cranberry Sierra Mist in a wine glass is really good.
312. I am really OCD.
313. I can actually work really hard when I try :O
314. What the Ostend Manifesto is.
315. I might marry Wikipedia.
316. I love computers.
317. Facebook is only distracting if you let it be.
318. Food holds even less of my attention when I’m stressed or busy.
319. I can successfully condense 52 of material into 6.
320. All things are possible with God.

Things I Think Are Stupid:
321. The law that you must wear a seat belt. That’s MY business. If I want to get killed in a car wreck, the government should let me. As long as I’m not hurting anyone else, let me make my own choices.
322. “Food may be hot after heating” warnings on microwavable lunches. Gee, it’ll be hot after heating? I pity the fool who needs that reminder.
323. When middle schoolers try to make everything into an innuendo because they think it’s cool. I have nothing against a good “That’s what she said” every now and then, but when you stretch “Ring Around a Rosy” to mean something bad, you’ve gone too far.
324. Professional wrestling. It’s staged. That’s lame.
325. Serving green beans without a slotted spoon.
326. People who don’t believe in Peter Pan (;P)
327. Weak fingernails.
328. Those strings on corn that get stuck in your teeth.
329. Hangnails.
330. Running out of things to say (which I obviously am…>.>)

~Kendra

P.S. This time tomorrow, I will be a free girl until January. (Well, not exactly, but freER :D)

P.P.S. If you click on this post, it'll take you to another version of this post.

And I have no clue why or how I did it... >.>

Take Heart!

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:33

There's almost something mystical about that verse, isn't there? Maybe it's just me. But doesn't it sound like something a fantasy hero or God out of a book would say? Something fantastic and eye-opening and magical. Something important the hero's mentor tells him, or something the heroine finds written on an ancient stone. Just goes to show you, God is so much cooler than our coolest creations.

I just sit here and read that verse over and over. It's so powerful. Think of all your troubles. All the little ones, all the big ones, all the secret ones, all the public ones. Can you beat them? Maybe not. Can you fix them? Maybe not. Maybe you can't overcome them, maybe they're overcoming you. But guess what?

TAKE HEART! Jesus has overcome the world!

That doesn't mean you'll never have trouble. It means that you can be sure that whatever your trouble is, Jesus is bigger.

Anything that bothers you here and now is okay. They might be real troubles, things that are worth being troubled over. But Jesus has already defeated them. He's Jesus. He's GOD. He's got your back--before you even need it.

So next time you're stressing, next time you just know there's nothing to be done, think about this.

TAKE HEART! Jesus has overcome the WORLD!

~Kendra

Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth...

Hell, or biology final tomorrow?

Take a wild guess.

Note: "Same thing" will also be an accepted answer.

Hello. The brain you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please try again later.

*folds hands and looks calmly at you*

I am tired as crap.

Now that we have that out of the way, I'll get on with a post before I have to eat dinner in--TWENTY MINUTES?? DANG IT! I HAVE TO GET DRESSED AND GET MY NEW SHOES TOGETHER AND FIND THOSE STUPID BLACK PANTS AND FINISH THIS PAPER!!

*palmforehead*

Never mind. Bye.

Tech Week Begins

Basically, this is just to say I posted.

I am very tired.

So begins the infamous tech week.

Missed: One Brain Half

God Day:

Er...Not now, y'all.
----------------------
Sorry. It has so been one of THOSE days. As much as I really have tried to put on a happy face, today did not go well for me at all, as much as I think I hid it.

I got up, thinking that the day was going to go differently, and when it didn't go how I thought, I was pretty disappointed.
I was hungry all during church.
I woke up just kind of stressed out because tomorrow is Monday, which is gonna be bleep.
The sermon just did not hit me at all today.
I didn't feel good this afternoon.
I had to go to youth group, which I feel is at the moment led by slightly hypocritical people. (They DEMAND us to be consistent and faithful with coming to youth, and yet they cancel on a dime because they "want to spend time with their kids" or something.)
I got so hot playing outside at youth, then I came inside, and it was the same temperature.
I was just feeling so stressed and not looking forward to tomorrow at all when the work load will hit me like a ton of freakin' bricks.
I really miss the other half of my brain that decided to be lame and quit doing Classical.
I really miss the other half of my brain. Really a lot. It is so not the same without it. So not.
Chores.
Suck.
Crap.
Crapp.
Crappp.
The end.

Sorry for being depressing.

~Kendra

P.S. Oh, and my nose hurts from getting hit in the face at the soccer game yesterday. All this stupid little crappiness just makes me wanna cry, you know? It's nothing big, just a lot of little things.

:'(

Practicum Overview

I am tired.

Wow.

In order to keep up with blogging, I wrote in my journal what I would have blogged, and now I'm going to type it up.
--------------------------
DAY #1:
Time: 11:48pm

Did: drove here, dumped stuff at house we're staying at, went to set up bookstore at the church where the conference is gonna be.

Weird thought: I love practicums. They make me feel like a slave.

House we're staying at: good, smells like a granny though

Church the conference is at: huge, awesome

Good: most things

Bad: No Daniel :( It feels weird and wrong without him

Wish: I had pants that fit

Sleeping situation: air mattress 2day and 2morrow, bed on nite 3

Camp I'm working: supposed to be logic ( :( ), actually ArtGeo ( :D)

I feel: good, tired

Reading: Pendragon #2

Writing: Creepy, 173 pgs, 90k words

Overall omnia: yay!

DAY #2:

Too tired to write anything.

DAY #3:

Too exhausted to write anything.

DAY #4:

Too worn-out to write anything.
--------------------------
Okay, after the first night, things sorta went down hill.

DAY #2, WHAT I CAN REMEMBER:

The lady doing ArtGeo was odd, but okay.

The kids were more well-behaved than I've ever seen.

There were too many helpers, though, so none of us got to do much of anything.

Lunch was a sandwhich soaked in tomatoe crud and letucce-ness. I ate the turkey out of the middle and a 50 cent bag of Cheetos.

Little kid named Johnathan was an utterly amazing artist (holy crap, you'd have to see it to believe it).

Very tired at end of day.

Daddy came to see us!! Lots of stories from Jamaica to tell. I'll tell you tomorrow maybe.

Went out to eat at Chili's.

Food took forever to get there, and I was starving considering I didn't eat much for lunch.

Ordered the wrong kind of food. DANG IT.

Got the right kind of food. Ate it, but (this is gonna sound weird) was too hungry to eat much (don't ask; I'm just a freak like that).

Starving, but it was my own fault.

Watched Night at the Museum on TV.

Ate a Pop Tart.

11:07pm-ish: slept in a bed because some people didn't end up staying at the house with us after all.

Woke up FREEZING like twice.

DAY #2 WHAT I CAN REMEMBER:

Kids were louder, gained like three, lost one.

Lunch was weird pasta stuff with broccoli and possibly peanut stuff, so I couldn't eat it. (I'm very allergic to peanuts -_-)

STARVING. Ate half an apple and some Doritos.

Felt fairly defeated after lunch.

Went to eat at some lake side place.

Food was good, friends were awesome.

Ran around the restaurant in the rain with awesome friends. Scared some little kids through the window. Rocked the floating docks and were a bad influence on some kids. Got really wet. Fed the fish and the big stupid ducks. Sang the Veggie Tales theme song in the restaurant. Planned our own traveling entertainment business.

Went back to house happy :) :)

Ate a Pop Tart because I was still hungry :/

Went to bed.

Woke up freezing again.

Mom woke me up at 7:15 as usual.

Got up, stumbled into bathroom and stared at myself, wondering what to do with my hair.

Mom comes in and says Lizzy isn't feeling well. Mom thinks it's because it's "too hot" in the house.

Apparently, while I froze every night, everyone else was sweating bullets and threatening the air conditioning.

Great start to morning.

Felt dead all morning.

Kids were semi-bad.

Pizza lunch. Was so grateful for FOOD that I almost cried. Ate three pieces before I started tasting the pizza and discovered that I hated it.

Still felt pitiful, so I called Ellie and complained in her ear.

Felt much better. Went back to camp.

Teacher left to go to the beach. We had to combine classes.

Don't feel like talking about the rest. Let's just say, out of five teen helpers, I'm the only one who helps. The others just talk to each other and FLIRT. OH PUH-LEEZ!

Waiting around for late moms to pick up kids (as usual).

Felt tired in ways you probablty can't imagine.

Had to help load very heavy boxes of books onto a hand truck, cart them into the elevator, go down, get them out of the elevator, cart them down the hall, get them over this huge bump, and load them into the truck.

Repeat that step.

Repeat it again.

And again.

And again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Finally get to start home. I put my feet on the dashboard, feel my aching body and don't say a word for like forty-five minutes.
---------------------------
I used to think it was stupid and unrealistic how slaves spirits get "broken" by being over-tired and over-worked. I used to think it was stupid and impossible. Now I'm a believer. When you're that tired and worked like that and ordered around, you start getting kind of...blah. Just doing whatever, making it through the day, being hungry, hot, tired, etc. I can see how that would "break your spirit" over time.

Anyway, wow, what a trip. So tired. Must sleep. Bye, and hope I didn't complain too much. Okay, I know I did. I guess what I mean is, don't hate me for being such a sourpuss? :D

Carpe di...*zzzzzzzzzzzzz*

News of Many Varieties

Good news, medium news, sad news and terribly sad news:

Good news first: MY PHYSICAL SCIENCE TEST WENT JUST FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I got an A!! The test was much easier than I thought it was going to be. My mom says it was because I studied so hard. Maybe it was! Cool!

Medium news second: School is over. *blink* Holy crud. School is over????? I'm on.........summer break?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! *moan* I'm bored already! I've hated school and wanted summer for the past two months, but now I'm sad! And sort of happy, too. I mean, no more science. I still have a ton of math to do. *glares* And no friends. *sniff sniff* Oh well. I'm free, right? That should feel like good news. Except for now some people aren't coming back next year, and I'll pretty much never REALLY see him again. I mean them. Okay, yeah, it's a him, but I don't like him or anything. I'm just gonna miss him being around. Okay, change this from being "medium news" to just being "sad news".

Sad news third: I don't remember what this was going to be...

Terribly sad news: Okay, have I mentioned this thing called Mock Trial to you? Well, I don't have time to go into a lot of detail, just know it's a complicated and challenging court experience thing people at my "school" do in Challenge B (eighth grade). It's a huge competition, and it's much harder than it looks. And it looks hard! My team won the championships. I loved Mock Trial. That's what made me want to be a lawyer. So, when this year's eighth graders started preparing, I was so excited!! I helped them all I could, but some of them just were not taking the whole thing seriously.

Yesterday was the first round of the competition. The team mostly surprised me! They were very good! Some of it was excellent, some of it wasn't so good. But I was still thinking we had won the first round. I mean, of course they would win the first round. Never in the whole history of the tutor has her class come in anything but second or first.

There is a first time for everything, folks.

Yeah.

They LOST.

They lost.

They lost??????????????

I'm so upset! More upset than you can realize! Mock Trial is a huge deal to me. I could hardly sleep last night at first. I just kept going over the trial in my head again and again and again and AGAIN. I couldn't stop! I kept telling myself, "KENDRA, STOP IT. This wasn't even your class; why are you so upset? And anyway, it's OVER. You can't do anything about winning now."

*moan* So, yeah. That's very sad news.

A tiny bit more not-so-good-news: On account of all the stress of three finals, a memorized speech, and Mock Trial, I have three stress pimples, and two ulcers in my throat, and I think I might have a stomach ulcer.

I know. I seriously need to switch to decaf. Lol! :) Really, I'm okay. I know I'll get over all of this eventually. Even my class breaking apart. It's all good. Sort of. I WILL be all good. You just gotta believe that. Things will work out right somehow, even if it isn't YOUR version of "right". God knows what he's doing. Carpe diem!

Warning: Don't read if you have a history of depression.

My house is the black hole of depression. THE BLACK HOLE. My whole family is upset and so freaking stressed. You don't know. You can't know. My mom is crying, my dad looks so defeated, my sister avoids us, I can't even breathe I'm so...something. We've put everything on the line, and things just...fell apart. We can't move in, our house is in chaos, we don't know when we'll be able to move. We can't live like this. My parents have to work, my sister and I have to do school. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, my throat hurts (probably because I'm holding back tears), my everything hurts. Everything is dark. Nothing has color right now. This is a bleak, depressing, probably-melodramatic post, but it's how I'm feeling. I can't even write Creepy. I have so much driver's ed homework to do it isn't even funny.

Life sucks. And then you die.

Carpe diem?


P.S. I just had an interesting idea: I should have a blog called Carpe Noctem...hmm...

STRESSED OUT and the Whole Concept of "Love"

Happy.......Valentine's......Day.....*head falls on keyboard* ZZZZZZZZ......

Yeah. It's been one of THOSE weeks. The week has had its good moments, mostly while I was driving :) but overall, this week was...well...BLECK. I'm so tired I couldn't walk a straight line, and I'm pretty stressed out, too. :( I have so much school work, and on top of that, driver's ed work, too!! *GROAN* Sorry. Don't mean to go all depressing on y'all. Just thought I'd take a small paragraph to vent :)

So...uhm...well, in honor of Valentine's Day, I just want to go on a small rant about something that bugs me. Since Valentine's Day is usually centered around the concept of love, I guess this is as good a time as ever to point out the fact that the word "love" has become so over-used lately, that it really means nothing at all. My friend Ellie and I called this over-use "word inflation." :) When there gets to be a lot of money circulating in the economy, it doesn't seem to matter as much to people, and they spend it all the time. That's inflation (in a reeeeally small nut shell :) ). So, word inflation is, guess what? Yup. When people use a word so much that it doesn't really even mean anything anymore.

That's what's happening to "love." The word pretty much means nothing now. Nothing. Seriously. Nowadays, "love" might mean anything from, "Thanks" to "I reeeeally want part of that cookie..." In birthday cards, thank you notes, and just notes people pass each other (well, we girls at least, lol), the words "I love you" are pretty much always there.

But do they really mean it?

I'm sure some people do, but still, the whole idea of love has been just totally twisted and made to seem so insignificant. Love is a big deal, y'all! It's not a word to be squandered on Valentine's Day cards to people you met last week! It's not just something you shout at your mom as you're leaving the house. Love is a gift, and by using the word so often and so carelessly, it's completely lost its meaning :(

Of course, there are different types of love. You can obviously love someone as a friend and not want to marry them! (DUH. :) ) But still, we should be careful the way we use such a strong word as "love." Do you really? Or are you just saying that? Be honest with people. Be honest with yourself.

NO MORE WORD INFLATION!! ;)

I don't know why, but I'm happy...

Omg. Wow. It has been a long time. Sorry!! This week has been crazy and stuff, so I haven't had time to post.

Well, I don't feel boring anymore!! Isn't that AWESOME??? Lol! Maybe I still am, but at least I don't FEEL like I am. :) This weekend, we had some friends stay at our house. (Matt, age 12 and Katie, age 10). As some of you probably know, I have always lamented my tiny family (just parents, me and my 12 year old sister), and absolutely LOVE it whenever people stay at our house. Well, Matt and Katie are practically family anyway, but it was amazing having them at our house. They are so much fun, and I could tell that my dad really liked having a fellow guy in the house for a while. :) We did all kinds of stuff together, and it's so sad that they're gone now, but I will treasure those two days forever. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's true.

I haven't really tried to write in a while, but I get the feeling that if I tried, my writer's block is gone. Yay!! After this post and after I check my billion various emails :), I'll probably attempt to write a little.

School is awful. Surprisingly, I'm not super upset about that, although I have been pretty stressed lately. I have the tendancy to procrastinate, and this week is an excellent example. :( I have so much to do tomorrow it isn't even funny. I have to finish a horribly boring, long book that I'm not halfway finished with; write two papers on it, summarize the constitution, the amendments, and something else; do FOUR MATH LESSONS, (AHHHHHHHHHHH!!), memorize the rest of my seven minute speech (I have half of it memorized...I think...), and read an entire physical science module.

Wow.

When I just wrote all that down, it looks even worse than I thought it was... :'( Yikes. Well, wish me luck, and if I haven't died, I'll post again tomorrow. :)

Elaboration

Okay, so, I promised to elaborate on my death by physical science. :) Well, basically I waited until the day of the test to figure out that I had no idea what I was doing. So, I freaked out and panicked and thought I was gonna flunk. But, but my dad helped me out, and everything is cool now. :) It's all good.

But I still reeeeeeally don't like physical science.

Or any science, actually. I'm really more of a literature, language and philosophy person. Oh, and logic. I just love logic. *sigh*

P ( Q
~P
Ergo, ~Q

I love it. Call me crazy (and I know I am), but I do.

Okay. I know. I'll quit talking while I'm....well, not even ahead, but not so far behind...okay. Bye. I apparently had too much red kool-aid today. :D TTYL!