Friday, February 27, 2009

Warning: Don't read if you have a history of depression.

My house is the black hole of depression. THE BLACK HOLE. My whole family is upset and so freaking stressed. You don't know. You can't know. My mom is crying, my dad looks so defeated, my sister avoids us, I can't even breathe I'm so...something. We've put everything on the line, and things just...fell apart. We can't move in, our house is in chaos, we don't know when we'll be able to move. We can't live like this. My parents have to work, my sister and I have to do school. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, my throat hurts (probably because I'm holding back tears), my everything hurts. Everything is dark. Nothing has color right now. This is a bleak, depressing, probably-melodramatic post, but it's how I'm feeling. I can't even write Creepy. I have so much driver's ed homework to do it isn't even funny.

Life sucks. And then you die.

Carpe diem?

P.S. I just had an interesting idea: I should have a blog called Carpe Noctem...hmm...


Anonymous said...

having a blog is good for this kind of stuff. it makes (or should, at least) one feel better about the bad things going on in our lives.

"Life sucks. And then you die.
Carpe diem?"
actually I never was very philosophical, but (mainly) since I started having philosophy as a class, this year, I think about this kind of stuff some times. pretty weird, I just try to focus on other things.

I think you should try a carpe noctem. looks like a good idea for a blog

Kendra Logan said...

Thanks! That's awesome that you have philosophy as a class! So do I! I love it. I like to think deeply about stuff, but I never really did before because, well, no one else does, if you know what I mean.

Putting all that depressing stuff down in a post actually did help me feel better. Just to get it out there really helped.

Maybe I will try Carpe Noctem. I don't want to abandon this one though lol!

AEGIS said...

I'm so sorry! Believe it or not I know how you feel, at least I know how I felt every time I was in the same position you are in now. Moving is fun after all the moving is over.^^

Sorry once again!

Kendra Logan said...

Thanks! *sigh* Yeah, I'm hoping.

Ellie B... said...

Okay, now, I'm gonna tell you what everybody else failed to. Keep ur chin up. Life is only over until tomorrow. Oh and cry if you want to it always makes ME feel better.

p.s. You shouldn't do a blog where all you are is depressed....i know i know eternal optimist :)

Gabrielle said...

It's okay Kendra. If you want call any time.
I know how you feel having a black hole for a house. It happens a lot around here

Just go up into your bathroom and cry for a little bit. It helps. (Trust me *winks*)

And like Ellie sad blog...only makes things worse! I know that too!

Kendra Logan said...

Thanks, y'all! And I actually did call you, lol! Both of you.

Gabrielle said...

I didn't know THAT was going on, and I was very upset then.

But put it all in God's hands.
I've found out life will never be as easy as we want. In fact right when we think we got it, we ether screw up or something screws up and messes up everything.

So just keep praying and like I said. Cry. Not only does it get the nose working but it actually lets out stress,so don't hold back tears because it just saves stress. :D
I think the whole crying thing down. :P

Nicole said...

Oh Kendra, I'm so sorry. I know this was a while ago, but I understand it too...oh gosh, you have no idea. A couple of years ago, in November, my light totally went out. I don't know why. I should have been on top of the world...I mean, I had everything, I was even performing a whole song solo in a singing thing at my school, something that hardly ever happens. I stayed together for that, but afterward...*boom* I seriously felt like something inside me had died, and it might never come back to life again. It lasted something like three weeks, finally starting to relent the night before Thanksgiving break. I guess some of it is seasonal because it comes back in winter, but yeah, you get the point. E-mail or call any time you need someone to talk can trust me. :)
Love ya!

Kendra Logan said...

Thanks so much, Nicole! Thank goodness I'm over that depressing phase. *shudders* And I'm glad to know I have such a good friend in you :)