Parts I and II

Well, I'm going to type some stuff now, and then finish this post later tonight after play practice so I can include what happens then, too. That way, I don't post twice and clog up y'all's dashboards, but I have time to post everything I want to say :) Because I am NOT going to type out a whole run-down of my day at 10pm tonight when I can barely keep my eyes open.

Wait...I can barely keep my eyes open now...

I am runnin' on adrenaline, people!

I'm pretty sure the schedule is about to become a thing of the past. I'm just too busy to crank out good advice, character sketches, awards, etc. on a daily basis right now :(

I still love "Mulan" SO MUCH and I'm definitley gonna cry when it's over in a little more than a week, lol :'( The school performance is a week from tomorrow, and the last show is a week from Sunday. This has been the most amazing and fun experience, and I treasure everyone I met. I'm going to miss them so much...

"I'll Make A Man Out Of You" is getting better and better. Shang still hit a couple of flat (I think XD) notes, but I'm confident that he'll fix that before showtime.

I have written absolutely, flat-out NOTHING that wasn't school-related for about two weeks. That's pretty bad, I know, but I'm so caught up in other stuff that I barely have time to miss it. I know once the play ends (*SOB!!*) I'll have more time, but I really don't want it to end. Really. I'm really tired all the time and I'm working on school until 11:30pm some nights, but it's all worth it! I love this play!

I'm trying to make this a balanced post with stuff about every aspect of my life, but somehow everything comes back to "Mulan".

The stuff that the cast is doing together is gonna be awesome. This Saturday, some people are going to a little coffee shop owned by one of the mom's of someone in the play. We're gonna eat stuff and maybe watch "Mulan" on the big TV :D :D :D I want to go SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO badly, but my mom says she'll have to see how I feel and how school is going for me. She thinks I'm wearing myself to a pulp, which maybe I am, but that's okay with me! *sigh* I can still see her point though. I'm going to work really hard in school and eat lots of healthy stuff so I "feel good" this Saturday :D :D :D

Oh, remember how last Saturday's practice was from 10-5? This one is from 2-7, so it isn't as long. Yeah. I don't know why I'm telling you this.

On opening night, we're all going to go to a Mexican restaurant together!! And then the day after opening night, we're going to a little pizza place. And then on the day of the last performance, we're gonna go to someone's house for hot dogs and chips and stuff!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

I love these people and I want to spend as much time as possible with them before TIME'S UP! Because even if they all do plays in the future, this exact awesome cast will NEVER BE EXACTLY THE SAME TOGETHER EVER AGAIN!!!!!! I must CARPE DIEM and enjoy everything to absolute highest degree NOW NOW NOW!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

O.O

Wow. I'm not wound tight right now or anything...

Okay, end Post Part I.

PART II:

It is after play practice. Hmm. Shang and Mulan still have a ways to go before they have all their lines down at the end :- Yikes. We go on in 8 days. The director was not exactly pleased with our progress.

Other things happened, but I think I will document them in my journal and not on the blog :P

Thanks for reading!

Something of Substance

Posting about how I used to post "deeper" stuff made me think about changing. More specifically, ME changing.

When you're little, it seems like you never do. I mean, there doesn't seem to be much change between age four and five, or really six or seven either. And on your birthday, when people as "How does it feel to be fifteen?" Or fourteen, or seven, or eighty-nine, etc. Your answer is always (or at least mine was): "Fine. Not much different." So (follow me on this, okay? Logical syllogism coming through), if four is the same-feeling as five, and five is the same-feeling as six, then four and six are the same-feeling, too, right? And then if six is the same-feeling as seven, and seven is the same-feeling as eight, then it would seem that four and eight are the same-feeling, too!

But that can't be right! Surely there's a difference between four and eight! Everyone knows there is. Plenty of differences.

Okay, so there ARE differences. But they don't apparenly take place on your actual birthday when you are officially a year older. They must be gradual changes throughout the year. Which sort of sucks because then we'll never be able to recognize them, right?

Well.

A little over a year ago (on December 16th, 2007), I decided to conduct a little experiment. On myself. (Bwahahaha) You know those annoying fill-outs that you get in your email about every three weeks? You know what I mean. The ones that ask: What's your favorite color? Where were you born? How many houses have you lived in? What's your least favorite food? Do you wash your hair with grape scented shampoo or cherry? And blah blah blah.

Well.

I combined a bunch of those quizzes in my journal. I created my own ultimate fill-out. It was over 100 questions. Then I filled it out (duh). And I started journaling. I wrote in my journal every day (almost) for an entire year. And I made it a rule that I COULD NOT read over any past journal entries. Once the page was flipped, it STAYED flipped. Until a year had passed. I wasn't "allowed" to read my journal until December 16th 2008.

Well, it was supposed to be just one journal. I actually filled up ten whole journals before the year was up. Yeah. TEN.

When the year was up, I went back to that very first journal and copied the questions of the fill out into the journal I was writing in. I didn't look at my answers, I just copied the fill out. Then I filled it out (duhhh). Then I compared answers to PROVE to myself that I DO change over the course of a year. And once I had confirmed that I had changed, I could go back and read through the journals and analyze when exactly the different changes had taken place.

I was actually surprised. I changed in more ways than I knew, and in more subtle ways than I would have guessed. It was a really interesting experiment, and I "learned" a lot. I also really like having all my memories written down. I'll never lose them that way. Even if I forget, I still have a way to remember.

You should be able to tell by now that memories and remembering are very important to me. One of my biggest fears is simply "forgetting." I dislike change, in any way, shape or form, so it's important to me that I at least REMEMBER the way things used to be. Change is the worst when you feel like things were JUST FINE the way they were, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I've been through countless changes that took me from my "perfect" life to a "totally crappy" one.

The bad thing is, I never seem to be able to recognize my having the "perfect" life until I've moved on to the "crappy" one. I'm terrible at not living in the moment. I always live in the past. At least I used to. I'm getting better.

But it IS hard to let go of things that I loved so much. Mostly I'm thinking about people. Not really stuff or places, although moving was pretty big and I still wake up confused sometimes. Every time I think things are great and I'm finally doing/being/having what I want, BOOM! stuff just HAS to change.

Which is why it's important to realize how good you have it BEFORE it gets worse. And then, the "worse" will eventually seem pretty cool. (And then stuff changes again, but whatever :D) The trouble is just recognizing when you've got it good. Things can always get better, but they can get worse, too, so live in the moment once in a while. Enjoy what you've got. Cause sooner or later,

it's gonna be gone.