Ten Years

What can happen in ten years?

You can get your ears pierced.
You can move.
You can invent 3D movies.
You can make 10 new friends.
You can outgrow a passport.
You can learn to cook.
You can invent Facebook.
You can forget your kindergarten enemy.
You can forget how mad you were that one time.
You can forget what that shirt looked like.
You can forget the disagreement with your sister.

But there are some things you cannot forget.

September 11, 2001.

Smoke.
Fire.
Fear.
Silence.

Great, loud, looming, shocked silence.

Unity.
Tears.
Tragedy.
Unison.

Breathing.
Whispering.
Wailing.
Balking.

Grandmas calling.
Mommas crying.
Children wondering.

What happened? What was so great? So terrible? What had happened that was so big the whole world stopped to watch?

There are lots of ways to say it; each one makes your stomach clench, your mind flinch, your heart squeeze.

Nine-eleven. 9-11. September 11. The World Trade Center. The Twin Towers.

It's funny trying to remember a time before it happened. It's funny because we will never forget what happened, but we've already forgotten what it was like before.

Remember when middle-eastern people didn't look scary?
Remember when you could walk right onto an airplane without checking bags?
Remember when the word "terrorism" was foreign?
Remember when America felt like the safest place in the world?

I was seven when it happened; I barely remember those things. But I do remember. What's sad is the kids I know who don't.

The nine-year-old girl I babysit can’t remember a time before Nine-Eleven. She doesn't remember when middle-eastern people were just people. She doesn't remember not having extensive airplane security. She doesn't remember not knowing what "terrorism" is. She doesn't remember thinking that America was invincible.

It's been ten years. America is growing again, in some good directions, and in some bad, but she is growing. That's the only thing she can do. People may try to strike her down, but the values she stands for--Freedom, Equality, Bravery, Honor, Justice--will endure forever, as long as the people defend them.

And that's what we will do. No matter what happens, no matter who tries to derail us, we will stand strong for our God-given rights and for WHAT is right. We will remember not only Nine-Eleven, but everything before that, everything our founding fathers stood for.

On this anniversary of the great American tragedy, don't just remember the Twin Towers. Remember why they were destroyed, and uphold those values all the stronger.

In ten years, a lot can happen, but some things you never forget.

And some of those things you never should.

~Kendra

Carpe Diem

You may have noticed something (Okay, probably more than one something, but I'm talking about something specific XD):

My lack of blogging.

(Okay maybe you didn't XD But now that I've brought it to your attention...)

I love ~Carpe Diem~. Like, I think I might actually love it, like it's a person, an extension of myself. It's been a sounding board for new ideas, my journal for good times and bad, a venue for meeting some of the most amazing people, a way to document my life in fun and beautiful ways that I never would have been able to otherwise. I LOVE ~Carpe Diem~.

The name is perfect; Seize the day. Live, love, laugh, learn. To me, ~Carpe Diem~ represents growing up and changing and being excited about life. Even the templates have been happy and fresh.

So it feels kind of like my heart is breaking as I say that I think I'm finished here.

I'm so silly, I'm almost crying XD

(Dang, as I type, I'm not sure if I can go through with this.)

For some reason, there's been a distance growing between me and ~Carpe Diem~. Not a dislike, not a disinterest, just a distance. I'm growing up, but that's not quite what I mean. I've outgrown ~CD~ is more like it. I haven't matured out of it, I've grown out of it. I know that might sound like the same thing, but it isn't. Maturing would mean that I feel ~CD~ is below my thought level now, that it was cute while it lasted but I'm moving on. That is not how I feel.

I feel like ~CD~ represents a definite chapter of my life, of who I am, and that chapter is over.

Honestly (for you writers out there), it feels like I've finished a book. I'm heartbroken to leave it behind, but it's truly finished and it's time to move on. It'll always be there, and I'll reread it or maybe even work on it, but it's in the past now. I've finished it. I've out grown it and I'm ready to move on.

If I haven't made it obnoxiously obvious yet, I will now: I won't be posting on ~Carpe Diem~ anymore. I may post occasionally, but most likely it'll be memorial posts (~CD~'s birthday, MY birthday, holidays, etc.) and not a regular thing. At this point, I don't plan to ever come back to daily posting.

I love ~Carpe Diem~ dearly, and much more than anyone should love a blog, and I love all of you. I can't believe 137 people care about what I say! It's mind-boggling! Me? ME?? You want to read ME??

I've gotten really arrogant about the whole blog thing too, and I think that was what started the distance. I started caring too much about the number of followers and not enough about the real reason for blogging. I'm so sorry.

As hard as it is to make myself come to terms with this decision, I feel like it's almost been made for me. I grow up, I change, and those plain facts are out of my control. So this is goodbye. (Forget almost crying, I AM crying >.<) I honestly cannot thank you enough for being a part of this wonderful journey I've been on.

If you're interested in keeping up with me, I have something to tell you, but you need to email me: livinglovinglaughinglearning@gmail.com.

With much, much, MUCH love,
Kendra Logan

Finally. Maybe.

You might remember when I took driver's ed.
You might remember when this guy lost my certificate.
You might remember when the Department of Non-Public Education messed up our paperwork.
You might remember that we had to order my birth certificate because we couldn't find it.
You might remember that it took 8 weeks to arrive.

Nearly two years later than normal, I'm going to get my driver's permit today. Theoretically. I'm hesitant to even say anything because I'm really, really, really, really, really, REALLY afraid I might fail. Like, legitimately.

*sigh* We'll see. Prayers wouldn't be out of order :)

~Kendra

Resolution

Happy Second Day of Twenty-Eleven! How was your first day? Did you notice the date?

1.1.11

I thought that was pretty sweet, but then again, I'm easily amused.

This year, I have a lot of little resolutions, but in general, my goal is very simple (and not particularly original): be myself.

I go through ups and downs in "being myself." 2010 was not an especially good year for being myself. It's not that I lied or was fake or tried to be someone I wasn't, it's just that...I was being the wrong parts of myself and not looking at the big picture.

Of course, 2010 was also just a growing year. I might not have been completely myself, but I did a lot of experimenting and learning and stretching. I learned what works for me and what I'm like and where my limits are.

You know, when I think about like this, 2010 really wasn't that bad. I'm not upset to say goodbye, but it actually wasn't a bad year. I had lots of Firsts (and several Onlys) and discovered that I love eyeliner, hate chemistry and can, in fact, tolerate guys screaming in movies (which will come in handy with the Harry Potter movies, I think).

Long story short, while I wasn't as successful at being ME in 2010, I did make a lot of discoveries about who I am that should help me become more the person God wants me to be in 2011 :)

More on that later.

~Kendra