This is going to be sort of a personal-experience post, so...yeah. LOL, just wanted to say that. This isn't a big revelation or anything, just some stuff that I've been thinking about.
So, I'm not really this amazingly spiritual person. I only pray at night, I never confess my sins individually, I forget to forgive, and reading the Bible is something I do only when I need advice. Mostly, I kind of suck. Mostly, I don't care as much as I should. But lately, that's started to change.
I don't know what happened, or when, but I can almost feel God pulling me. He doesn't seem so far anymore, even though I've only just started to try in our relationship.
I have a really weird relationship with God, okay? It's not your normal "weird" relationship either. It's not that cliche sometimes-he-feels-so-far relationship, or that I-don't-understand-how-he-could-love-me one. My relationship with God is just really on and off. Like a switch.
There will be weeks at a time where I cuss in my head all the time, snap at my sister, roll my eyes at my mom, read things I shouldn't, and don't do my school work.
Then, the next day, I'll decide to pray, and immediately, God and I are great again. I can feel him with me, I get stuff out of the Bible, he gives me good ideas, he makes me laugh.
What. The. Heck.
I know, right? I don't get it either.
Here's the other thing that I'm almost afraid to admit for fear of sounding self-righteous:
I don't have a problem hearing God's "voice".
*bites lip* Do you hate me now? I hope you don't think I'm bragging, because I really don't want to come across that way. I just...well, whenever I pray sincerely, God answers me.
Now, this is advice I'm talking about. It's not like God just dumps piles of hundred-dollar bills under my bed or magically gives me that older brother. It's just that whenever I pray to God to help me understand something or show me what to do, he...well, he does. And it's really, really nice
This time around, I want to make a conscious effort to stay close to God. None of this floating away, I want to have this all the time. I've been praying about something for a few weeks now, and today God revealed to me what to do, clear as day. I know what to do, but I think it might be...hard.
*gasp*
What?? God's challenging me?? XD
One thing our youth leaders always tell us that I think I'm learning more and more:
Be careful what you ask God, because he'll show you, and you better be ready.
What's God asking you to do? Whatcha waiting for? Go carpe your diem and ask him.
