Sunday, January 10, 2010

God Day: My Relationship With God

EDIT: You didn't think I was going to let a follower go by without proper recognition, did you?? XD Thank you SO MUCH for following, Libby! Wow, ninety followers. I seriously never (EVER) thought I'd see the day. :O

This is going to be sort of a personal-experience post, so...yeah. LOL, just wanted to say that. This isn't a big revelation or anything, just some stuff that I've been thinking about.

So, I'm not really this amazingly spiritual person. I only pray at night, I never confess my sins individually, I forget to forgive, and reading the Bible is something I do only when I need advice. Mostly, I kind of suck. Mostly, I don't care as much as I should. But lately, that's started to change.

I don't know what happened, or when, but I can almost feel God pulling me. He doesn't seem so far anymore, even though I've only just started to try in our relationship.

I have a really weird relationship with God, okay? It's not your normal "weird" relationship either. It's not that cliche sometimes-he-feels-so-far relationship, or that I-don't-understand-how-he-could-love-me one. My relationship with God is just really on and off. Like a switch.

There will be weeks at a time where I cuss in my head all the time, snap at my sister, roll my eyes at my mom, read things I shouldn't, and don't do my school work.

Then, the next day, I'll decide to pray, and immediately, God and I are great again. I can feel him with me, I get stuff out of the Bible, he gives me good ideas, he makes me laugh.

What. The. Heck.

I know, right? I don't get it either.

Here's the other thing that I'm almost afraid to admit for fear of sounding self-righteous:

I don't have a problem hearing God's "voice".

*bites lip* Do you hate me now? I hope you don't think I'm bragging, because I really don't want to come across that way. I just...well, whenever I pray sincerely, God answers me.

Now, this is advice I'm talking about. It's not like God just dumps piles of hundred-dollar bills under my bed or magically gives me that older brother. It's just that whenever I pray to God to help me understand something or show me what to do, he...well, he does. And it's really, really nice

This time around, I want to make a conscious effort to stay close to God. None of this floating away, I want to have this all the time. I've been praying about something for a few weeks now, and today God revealed to me what to do, clear as day. I know what to do, but I think it might be...hard.


What?? God's challenging me?? XD

One thing our youth leaders always tell us that I think I'm learning more and more:

Be careful what you ask God, because he'll show you, and you better be ready.

What's God asking you to do? Whatcha waiting for? Go carpe your diem and ask him.


♥Libby♥ said...

Yeah, I know what you mean about all that. Maybe this year that can be your, like, main goal.

And, I'm new, obviously, and I'm your 81st follower! well-- will be when i post this lol.

I also have a blog you can check out if you want:

But yeah, great blog -- will be back!

Libby x

♥Libby♥ said...

Oops, I mean, I'm your 90th follower -- now THAT's special (:P)

sherrinda said...

Wow. I wish I had heard God more clearly when I was younger. I still struggle with the on and off thing in my spiritual walk. It is when I let life get in the way of my relationship with Him that I feel alone. Still! I wish I had it more together at times. I wonder if anyone ever walks completely in victory all the time. Surely not...we live in a fallen world, right?

Love your honesty!

Pam Calvert said...

What a wonderful post! I think it's awesome that you have this kind of relationship with God now. When I was your age, I viewed God as Santa. When I needed Him, I'd pray. I didn't know Him very well until MUCH later...I'm praying your love/relationship for God will be as strong as David's in the Bible. I know you'll do great things for Him!!! He's preparing you!

Bekah said...

*claps hands and throws confetti in the air and dances wildly around while hugging you*
GO KENDRA!!!! :)

That's AWESOME that you feel like that... *high-fives you*

God really is worth it. I'll be praying for you. :)


Kyle Hendricks said...

Can I have the hundreds of dollars!? :O
And ninety followers, yeesh. I remember when there were like, 20. :D

Nicole said...

God is absolutely amazing! I'm glad he's working in your heart and life.
-Thanks for the comment!

Milli said...

You've been awarded!

amber said...

God loves you, and it takes time for that relationship to grow. No one always walks in victory ALL the time, but when you see yourself drifting away from Him (like I do sometimes) you just go back to Him in His welcoming arms!
You'll be in my prayers!