Monday, December 13, 2010

13 Things and a Semi-Guest writer

I hate thinking up names for those blog posts, don't you? Gah. Anyway, my writing style will be hugely different from the awesome female writer you're used to reading from. I'm Kendra's friend from Utah that you may have heard of multiple times, named Jordan. Kendra's currently SWAMPED with Homework, so asked me to make a blog post. The post may be somewhat below your standards for the blog though, so just bear with me. :D

Also: I was in a rather odd mood when I wrote this. You'll see. Keep reading.

1Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer. Aside from him having a biological lightbulb built into his nasal passages, he's (obviously) a reindeer, so gets to pull Santa's sleigh. YAY!

Dasher: His name sounds like a razor product built specifically for the holidays. "Buy the new Gilette Dasher for just $12.99 at your nearest Walmart and get the shave your wife can appreciate on Christmas Eve! Only at Walmart!"

Prancer: There's a ballerina reindeer, apparently. Prancer, his name reminds me of a sword for some reason. o_O

Dancer: I do ballroom dance, and I know Kendra does hip-hop, so we can both kinda relate to this Reindeer's name. Maybe he does latin or standard while he's flying? *shrugs* Something to think about.

5 Vixen: Okay, seriously, anyone getting twilight vibes here? Vixen makes me think of vampires. Also, vice is the opposite of virtue, so makes for an interesting name of a pet of a beloved fat jolly guy that sneaks into your house and eats your food.

Donald: Aha! So apparently the duck has a second job to sneak into the north pole and dress up as a reindeer every so often. Apparently he does quite the job, since Walt Disney never noticed him sneaking off of the pages and walking away.

Cupid: Honestly there are just too many lame jokes I could make about Cupid. Why name a Reindeer after one though? I mean, really, he already has his own holiday. Going after the inspiration of Donald, he apparently slips away and metamorphs into some sort of fairy tale 4 year old with a bow that makes people fall in love.

At this point, I googled the song lyrics and realized there isn't one named Donald. *facepalm*

Comet: Best name here, in my opinion. If I were Santa, I would've named the reindeer after the places where he gets more cookies.

Being a frequent user of twitter, pardon me if I let some hashtags sneak into the post. >_>

Snowball: Wouldn't that be a fitting name? He could have a huge annual snowball fight with the penguins when the visit whichever pole they inhabit. I mean, the scientists can use the company and maybe some more fun.

10 Jolly: If you can have one named Prancer and another named Dancer, why not a mindset? Jolly should go around as a backup and make positive on all the most nefarious situations.

Food: Santa's favorite snarky little Reindeer, he usually hangs out with his cousin, Jerald McGreggor and cooks things like hot chocolate in the kitchen with dear old Mrs. Claus.

Timothy: That dear little boy in that classic tale actually walked all the way to Santa Claus's summer house in the Bahamas after a hobo burnt his crutch. Jerald McGreggor and dear Timothy are planning revenge on said hobo.

13 Jerald McGreggor, Food's cousin, often times is the most left out of the backup-reindeer team. After Rudolph joined the team, Santa said he didn't want to put another spot on ther already over-crowded sleigh. Jerald stayed back in the kitchen and poured the hot cocoa when Food told him so and spent the rest of the time concocting odd plans with Timothy to get back at that hobo.

Yeah, it was random, it was odd, but hopefully I made someone laugh. Enjoy Christmas and remember the story of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, being born in a manger. Spread the holiday cheer and remember Kendra's swamped position and maybe send her some chocolate. :D

-Jordan, Kendra's odd friend from Utah.


Kyrenius-X2 said...

Hopefully that post doesn't cause Kendra too much pain at all the snarky stuff. I was utterly bored. :D -Jordan

Hillshum said...

Yeah, I think you mean Donder, not Dancer. Not that there's anything wrong with that name or anything.

Kyrenius-X2 said...

Donder? Oh. Oops.

Elizabeth said...

You totally cracked this someone up XD. When you said Donald, I was like 'really? One is named Donald?'... then it wasn't :D. And Vixen makes me think of female foxes... and I just now googled to check, and female foxes ARE called vixens. Huh :). Btw, Santa totally sounds like a creeper in most songs... in my opinion, anyway.