Finally. Maybe.

You might remember when I took driver's ed.
You might remember when this guy lost my certificate.
You might remember when the Department of Non-Public Education messed up our paperwork.
You might remember that we had to order my birth certificate because we couldn't find it.
You might remember that it took 8 weeks to arrive.

Nearly two years later than normal, I'm going to get my driver's permit today. Theoretically. I'm hesitant to even say anything because I'm really, really, really, really, really, REALLY afraid I might fail. Like, legitimately.

*sigh* We'll see. Prayers wouldn't be out of order :)

~Kendra

Famous Inboxes: Gandalf

After finding Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas in Fangorn Forest, Gandalf takes the battle for Middle Earth to Rohan. Here he frees King Theoden from the evil influence of Saruman and the lovelorn Grima Wormtongue. He then checks his email.

~Kendra

Official Announcement Post

Some of you may already know this. I've known about it for months. But see, an announcement this amazing deserves a proper post. And I'm just now in the mood to do that.

I love languages. I love foreign music. I love learning. I love different cultures. I love traveling.

Have you ever heard of People to People? It's a student ambassador program. The idea is that we can create peace and cultural understanding by getting to know the people and letting them know us. Real unity won't come from Government to Government, it'll come from People to People.

A couple of years ago, P2P invited me to go to Japan. My parents didn't think twice before saying, "No." Last year, I was invited to go to Ireland. Ireland, you guys. My favorite. My parents at least looked at it before saying "no." This year, I got a third invitation to go to Spain, France and Italy. Spain and Italy are in the top 3 places I want to go. I wanted to go so much when I saw the invitation, but I didn't even bring it up. I knew what the answer would be.

My parents saw it lying on the counter eventually. I admitted that yeah, I really wished I could go.

They said, "Okay."

The next thing I know, I'm at an orientation meeting with hundreds of other highschool kids, listening to a fun, polished lady talk about the benefits of the program, and P2P alumni share their amazing experiences.

Unfortunately, not everyone can go on the trip. The invitation goes out to lots of kids and some show up at the meeting, and some don't. From there, if you still want to go, you sign up for an interview process. Out of the hundreds of kids, only FORTY will be chosen.

Believe it or not, I'm one of the lucky forty.

Guys. I'm going to Europe. I'm going to EEEEEEEUUUUUURRRRRROOOOOOPPPPPPEEEEE. I'm going to lie on a beach in Spain. I'm going to have real croissants in France. I'm going to see the ancient Roman ruins with my very own eyes.

Can you believe this, you guys? I mean, really... I'm going to Europe. I'm going to be traveling, learning, broadening my horizons, stepping out of my comfort zone, being an ambassador to the world :) This is the most incredible opportunity I think I've ever had and I'm going capere every diem.

~Kendra

[Pointless Post]

Hellooo! So, I was bored today and got to looking at collage software online. I downloaded Shape Collage and had some fun with it :)



I don't know why the "ShapeCollage.com" is so much bigger on Lizzy's. That's really annoying. I know this is a pretty pointless post, but I felt like posting anyway :) Hope you're doing great!

~Kendra

Two Dead Boys Poem

Early one morning, late one night.
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other.
Drew their swords, and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

My dad used to recite that poem to me when I was little :) I loved it and it recently came back to mind.

It's kind of awesome, isn't it?

~Kendra

Non-Grape Wine: As One Wishes to Live

So, I was on Facebook the other day (who isn'? XD) and I'd been tagged in a cool activity:

1- Go to Wikipedia and hit "Random Article" (it's on the left side). The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit "Random Quotes" (on the left side again). The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on "the last seven days” (at the bottom this time XD Then you have to click it again on the right side). Third picture, no matter what (as long as it's appropriate), will be your album cover.

4 - Use paint or photoshop or something like that to put it all together.

5 - Tag the friends you want to do this.

I didn't think it sounded that fun, but the friend who tagged me is new-ish to Facebook, so I decided I'd do it. Here's what I got:

Isn't that awesome? It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. It also made me want to start a band XD Here are some that my friends did:

Kyle's

Cassidy's

Aaand then I decided to make a few more :)


You should try it! It's tons of fun :) If you do and you post it to your blog, leave a comment so I can come see it! :D

~Kendra

Theme Songs

Hey! I was tagged by Christian with a book tag. A couple of questions really made me think and started me on a wild goose chase:

Does your novel have a theme song?
Assign each of your main characters a theme song.

Wow. How awesome is that? "The Mirror" already had a theme song in my mind, Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell. But the second question was a little harder to answer.

I went straight to Youtube and started listening to X-Ray Dog's stuff. Do you know who/what that is? I didn't. I mean, I'd listened to it before and I knew that it was great for this sort of thing, but I didn't know what it actually was. Turns out X-Ray Dog is like a company in California that does theme music for movies. Perfect.

Those of you who know me can testify that me + an idea + picky-ness = laaaate night. I was up til 1AM last night listening to tons and tons of X-Ray Dog, search for something that embodied the four characters I'd chosen as my mains.

Finally, out out absolutely nowhere, Darren's song hit me full force. My eyes widened, my mouth fell open, and I clicked quickly to the tab playing the song. "Fight for Glory." And that was Darren's song.

Darren ~ Fight for Glory by X-Ray Dog

I looked some more, sifting through this and that, trying to ignore the fact that it was 12:48AM. I was losing hope fast when Paige's song found me. It was a great moment of "Oh my gosh...this is it..."

Paige ~ Truth and Lies by X-Ray Dog

(I've always thought that Decode by Paramore fits her too, MUCH better than it fits Bella and Edward, for whom it was written.)

I scrambled through more and more music, dismissing some and listening to others. Eventually, something that sounded a bit like Narcissa came to my attention.

Narcissa ~ Flight of Dreams by X-Ray Dog

(And yes, that is also Luna Lovegood.)

I'm not completely satisfied with Narcissa's. It's definitely very good and very close, and it might grow on me, but as of now it doesn't quite fit her. She's quieter and less...funny. Somehow the music makes her sound like a hilarious and fun character. And, I mean, she is, but in a quieter, almost weaker way actually.

Luken

Ah, Luken. The last song to find. Luken may be my favorite character. I'm not sure. He's tall and brooding and mysterious, BUT he's not dark. He's arrogant, determined and strong, with streaks of sadness and desperation.

And I have not been able to find a song like that.

So...heh...I'm not going to ask you to help me out or anything...BUT...if you had spare time...or new an arrogantdeterminedsaddesperate song, I'd love to hear about it :3 Keeping in mind the other three and their style, suggestions would be EXTREMELY appreciated :) I hate it when I start something I can't finish.

So, with that, I'm off to paw through some more X-Ray Dog in search of Luken :)

~Kendra

Lessons of Snow

Today has been a Monday: slow and somewhat unproductive. It hasn't really been unpleasant though. I've had a good day, I just hope that tomorrow won't suck because of the things I didn't get done XD

We aren't reading a play in Shakespeare for a couple of weeks. Instead, we're focusing more on the poetry part of the class. That's fine by me. The only thing is, the assignments feel really restrictive. Lots of times they'll inspire me to write something I really like, but then I just have to do it over because it's not "an alliterative poem with the same number of accented syllables in each line" or something.

Oh well. It DOES force me to write, which is really good. I need that, even though I'm doing a lot better with writing now that I'm not so stressed.

Anyway, after that boring rant, here's one of the poems I wrote today. I'm using it for my "euphony" poem (I have to write cacophony tomorrow).

Lessons of Snow

Whirring, swirling falls the snow.
Tiny drops of feather-light lace
Twinkling flakes of playful cold
Wander down with innocent grace.

The world is peaceful, calm and still.
The snow seems warm despite the chill
As people stop to smile and say
"I hoped that it might snow today!"

Hot cocoa calls as flurries float.
The snow flakes settle on the grass.
Dizzy and friendly they come now.
You never know how long they'll last.

Some people say they don't like snow.
It tells them when they can come and go.
But as for me, I like the flurries.
We miss so much in our great hurries.

The snow falls at whatever pace
And sweeps the world in dusty white.
It shows us how nice life can be
When we go the pace God says is right.

~Kendra

The Godfather

I watched "The Godfather" today. I've just been feeling in the mood to watch it lately. Maybe it was the references in "You've Got Mail." I dunno.

For those of you who don't know, it's a movie about gangs, basically. But at the same time, that is SO NOT what it's about. It's about family. It's about loyalty, honor and justice. The kind of loyalty those people stick to is incredible, and admirable. You stick up for you family, pay your debts, keep your promises and treat each other with respect. (There is a certain "or else" feeling to it, but that's beside the point XD)

Gangs are bad. I know. Killing is bad. Yes. Blackmail is wrong. It is. But if friends and family could show each other the same loyalty required in the Corleone family...wow. It would be incredible. You'd always have someone to go to, someone to talk to, someone to take your side. You'd never be alone.

"The Godfather" is one of my favorite movies. It's intense, it's a little violent (okay, so it's rated R), and calling it "lighthearted" would be about as accurate as calling Edward and Bella's relationship "healthy," but I love it. I really love it. It fills me with a fierce loyalty for my family, a passion for justice, and a will to plan carefully (along with an overwhelming desire for brothers, of course).

The point is, I think "The Godfather" is definitely a movie to see, so long as you can handle it, and the basic principles are ones that we can all draw from.

~Kendra

What's Up With Me

So. Hey :)

I've been thinking and evaluating and struggling with some things lately. Some of it's academic, some of it's personal, and some of it's creative. This year, you know, my goal is to be more myself. To become more the person I feel like I'm supposed to be. Lately I've been feeling like I have to choose between being myself and keeping up with certain aspects of school.

God has blessed me with two facets to my personality: academic and creative. Normally, they coexist fine, but more and more, I've been feeling like they...well...can't.

I can keep up with my school work. I can do great. I can be a model student and get straight A's and tell you everything you want to know about Nietzsche and his Ubermensch, but when I sit down to write, I've got nothing. Nothing.

For a while I dismissed it as a phase. Writer's block. Um, really LONG writer's block...a year and half's worth of writer's block, and getting worse every day...

In 2008, I read 40 books. In 2009, I read 39 books. In 2010, I read 20. Counting school books.

I stopped journaling. I stopped wanting to call my best friend. I got about eight colds in six months. I started putting on an act 24/7 of being the same Happy Healthy Fun Creative Kendra I've always been. I wasn't really very happy anymore, but I figured hey, I was making good grades and that's what counts.

I was beginning to think that I'd have to make a choice, and I knew I had already decided. Writing is who I am, reading is what keeps me going, but it's not what the world (or my parents, I thought) cares about. I can't even tell you the number of times my mom has told me to "stop working on my story and get back to my schoolwork."

Eventually I could do that for myself, and a little too well. I stopped writing because I didn't have time. I figured I could pick it up sometime when I did.

But guys, it doesn't work that way. You use it, or you lose it. I was losing it and I didn't know what to do. I made time for writing, but the words wouldn't come because I was so stressed out about what I SHOULD be doing. Even when I had legitimate "free-time," all I could do was veg out in front of the TV or click around on the internet because books didn't interest me, my words wouldn't come. I resigned myself to giving up creativity, and although it felt like cutting off my right arm, I was already halfway there.

When this year started, I knew I needed to do something. I was becoming dangerously angry and jealous of the homeschooled friends who had time just to enjoy being alive. I would read blogs and want to tear my hair out, thinking "Why can't I be her/him?" I was doing well in school, but completely miserable and losing myself in the sea of dates, atoms, charts, conjugations and theorems.

Good grades definitely count. Especially when you're (please excuse the potential arrogance) really blessed in the intelligence area and are 150% dedicated to getting into Wake Forest University. Good grades do count. A lot.

But is the syllabus more important than my soul?

I always thought homeschooling was about doing what was right for you, not about teaching to test or squeezing you into a system. I know God wants me to do my best and stretch my mind, but at what expense? I don't think he wants me to sacrifice my creative side for my academic side. I think there's a way for them to work together...maybe? Hopefully?

I finally breached the subject with my parents a few days ago. I tried to explain how I feel. Honestly, I didn't expect a great reaction. I expected something along the lines of, "Kendra, you're just being lazy because you're struggling in subjects that don't come naturally to you. Stop daydreaming and hit the books and everything will clear up soon."

But that didn't happen. My parents listened to me and took me seriously. We didn't argue and we actually understood each other.

That conversation definitely goes in the top three Must-Have-Been-God moments of my life.

We arrived at a pretty simple solution:

- We're ordering an algebra curriculum on DVD that I can do every day.
- I'm postponing chemistry until this summer. Without a background in algebra 2, chemistry is borderline impossible.

It doesn't sound like much, does it? But the way I feel is a 180 degree turn-around. I used to sleep until 10 o'clock because waking up was just too stressful and depressing. I used to write a total of 0 words a week. I used to be frustrated and didn't get alone with my parents very well.

It's been four days and I've gotten up earlier, feeling excited and so much full of ME. I've written more in my notebooks than I did all of last summer. I like my parents.

I just feel good. I feel like I'm enjoying life. I feel like I might try to do chemistry today just because I feel like I can.

I know this was a really long post, and possibly not something you're interested in, but I just felt like posting about it. I guess I sort of want insight. Do you think I did the right thing? I feel good, but every once in a while a shadow falls across me and I wonder if I should have just kept things the way they were and tried harder...

Comments are great... :)

~Kendra

Resolution

Happy Second Day of Twenty-Eleven! How was your first day? Did you notice the date?

1.1.11

I thought that was pretty sweet, but then again, I'm easily amused.

This year, I have a lot of little resolutions, but in general, my goal is very simple (and not particularly original): be myself.

I go through ups and downs in "being myself." 2010 was not an especially good year for being myself. It's not that I lied or was fake or tried to be someone I wasn't, it's just that...I was being the wrong parts of myself and not looking at the big picture.

Of course, 2010 was also just a growing year. I might not have been completely myself, but I did a lot of experimenting and learning and stretching. I learned what works for me and what I'm like and where my limits are.

You know, when I think about like this, 2010 really wasn't that bad. I'm not upset to say goodbye, but it actually wasn't a bad year. I had lots of Firsts (and several Onlys) and discovered that I love eyeliner, hate chemistry and can, in fact, tolerate guys screaming in movies (which will come in handy with the Harry Potter movies, I think).

Long story short, while I wasn't as successful at being ME in 2010, I did make a lot of discoveries about who I am that should help me become more the person God wants me to be in 2011 :)

More on that later.

~Kendra

Pictures of the Part-ayy

The party.
Was.
Fun XD

Starring...

Lizzy

Brianna

Lia

Me, Kendra

aaaaand Ellie!

Group shot!

Food...

Fun...
(Katie and Cassidy also came for a little while :D)

And more XD

I love my friends. Happy New Year.

~Kendra