When I was little, I hated sad songs.
And when I say "hate," I mean "LEGIT. HATRED." If I heard the first note of "Christmas Shoes" on the radio, it was off before the sound had time to register with anyone else. Just about any country sound was taboo, and the general category of Sad Love Songs was banned from my presence.
It's not that I was a controlling little devil (although maybe I was), I just couldn't deal with sad songs. My heart would start to get smaller and tighter and my throat would squeeze and I'd feel warm wetness in the back of my eyes and an uncontrollable need to curl up and die would overtake me.
I heard "Christmas Shoes" ONCE and spent that entire Christmas alternately crying in my room because I thought my mother was going to die. True story.
Now, I love sad songs.
I buy them on iTunes, search them out on my iPod, have playlists for them, put them on in the car. My sister hates me for it, but I figure she'll come around eventually like I did.
Instead of sad songs ruining my day (or possibly my ENTIRE CHRISTMAS SEASON) the way they used to, they fill my soul. Isn't that weird way to say it? But it's true. Something inside me swells with emotion until I think I might burst. The truth and tragedy resonate with me. Sad songs inspire me to write with passion; they pull my emotions together into a breathtaking bundle. They make me feel something beautiful.
I'm not sure when the change happened, or why. I've always been a very emotional person. I don't mean that I cry a lot or am a drama queen. I actually don't cry very often and I pride myself on dry humor.
I mean that when I'm happy, the whole world is beautiful and alive and nothing can stop me. When I'm sad, everything I am dips into a well of despair filled to the top with all the misfortune and cruelty in the world. When I'm angry, everything is tinged in red and channels of passion course through my veins, giving me strength to make a change.
I feel everything strongly. No matter what the emotion is, I am all over it. Full-force, completely, nothing halfway about it.
I think when I was little, I was afraid of my emotions. I knew how powerful my sadness was, so I ran from it, blocked it out, avoided it at all cost. Somewhere along the line, I began to realize how beautiful emotions are. The stronger they are, the more potential for beauty, for inspiration. Not to say that emotions should control you--you must be sure that YOU are in control of THEM--but that you shouldn't fear them.
You miss 100% of the shots you never take. No pain, no gain. The bigger the risk, the bigger the success. You can never win unless you're willing to try.
If you run from your feelings, you'll never know just how beautiful they can be.
[Due to miscounting on my part, I'm going to have to do more than 30 Things a day for the next three days, because I want to end on Thanksgiving :)]
Questions (all originals, btw XD):
361. When witnesses are asked if they will tell the whole truth in court, what happens if they say no?
362. How do British schools teach about the Revolutionary War?
363. Do Mexicans think about Spain the way Americans think about England?
364. Why do only guys go bald?
365. How important does a person have to be before they're "assassinated" and not just "murdered"?
366. How were cuss words invented?
366. Do other countries celebrate Thanksgiving?
368. Why is it now more of a girl thing to have long hair? I mean, originally, guys AND girls did.
369. What is the big deal with those nerdy glasses this days?
370. Why is it that when I try to think of them, all the awesome questions I have go away?
371. Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!
372. In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes!
373. There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!
374. Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane as a precaution!
375. Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!
376. The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!
377. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!
378. There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants!
379. Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!
380. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!
Answer to the "How Well Do You Know Me" Quiz:
390. There were only 9 questions... :3
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