Thursday, February 4, 2010

Ashlyn: The Prophetess

Today is legit Character Day :D

Okay, I know I'm supposed to do something different ever day, but would you guys mind too much if I focused on those four characters for a while? Sort of a temporary obsession, I guess. Y'all know how I get :)

Anyway, I know the profiles give a general idea of what the characters are like, but nothing captures someone's personality like seeing them in action, you know? So, I think I'm going to post pieces of the story that give you an idea of what each character is like, sort of each character's introduction. Is that okay with you guys? I mean, I know it's my blog, but...I like to post things that interest you!

However, since today is actually Character Day, I'll just go ahead and post Ashlyn's "introduction".

This part of the story takes place near the beginning, after you've gotten to see Ashlyn's power in action. (And apparently Sol and Ashlyn have an older, college-aged sister named Amy. Sorry. They didn't tell me that when I wrote the profiles. *eyeroll* I know, right? Characters.)

Note: Questions, comments, criticism always extremely welcome. I like to hear that you hate my stuff just as much as I like to hear that you love it. Just the fact that you're sharing with me what you think is awesome. Please, don't hesitate :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashlyn held her mug of hot chocolate in both hands, soaking in the warmth. She felt very small curled up on the couch of her living room. Her conflicting thoughts raged, making it impossible for her tense shoulders to relax.

Dang it, Ashlyn thought angrily, a tear running down her cheek. This is my spring break. My time off of school. My time to relax. So why can’t I?

She knew why. She knew it was the Dreams that wouldn’t let her enjoy church. The Visions that made her push God away in prayer. The Premonitions that made reading the Bible feel hypocritical.

Why was this happening to her? She wasn’t this kind of person! What had she done? How had she gotten into the occult without even realizing it? The Bible condemned psychics. It said they were of the devil, demonic, satanic, didn’t it? How could she be that kind of person?

And then, at the same time, there was that smug love of her internal conflict. That part of her that reveled in the power of seeing the future. That feeling of being superior to other, lowly people who weren’t special like her. She liked the drama of wrestling with her ability.

Ashlyn loved her power, and she hated it. She loved being powerful, but she hated the thought of being damned to Hell because of it.

She frowned. How messed up is that? The only reason I’m not completely in love with my power is because I’m afraid of burning for all eternity?

She brushed away the tears and looked to Sol on the other end of the couch, caught up his book. He looked at peace, like he always did. A fierce, angry jealousy gripped Ashlyn. Why was he so close to God and she wasn’t? Sol never had satanic premonitions that would damn him to the lake of fire. Because being a psychic would do that.

Wouldn’t it?

“Sol…”

He looked up, his wide brown eyes so open and carefree. Ashlyn fought the urge to strike out in jealousy. She felt her face twitch in her efforts to contain her tears. She looked away.

Sol looked surprised. “Ash. Are you okay?” He reached out to her, but she flinched away, sloshing hot chocolate onto her sweatpants.

“Yes!” she snapped, setting her mug on the table. She swiped at the brown spot on her thigh. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I just…” She wound her hand into the front of her hair in frustration. “Sol, the Bible says psychics are satanic, doesn’t it?”

Sol blinked. “Er…y—”

He stopped. Something wasn’t right about “yes”. He was suddenly not sure that was the correct answer.

“No,” he began slowly, beginning to realize something he hadn’t before. “No, I don’t think it does. I think it says you shouldn’t go to them. Don’t seek them out. And I think it depends on what you mean by ‘psychic’.”

“Someone who sees the future,” Ashlyn breathed, her eyes wide and intense. Sol leaned his head back at an angle, slowly taken aback.

“You. You see the future?” He raised his eyebrows as he said it. Ashlyn felt a shock of adrenaline run down her spine. All the anger drained out of her face, leaving only fearful desperation.

“I think I might,” she whispered, not meeting her brother’s eyes. “Don’t tell anyone. Please.”

Sol didn’t say anything for a long time. He believed her—he could always tell when his sister was lying—and he believed that she was right—he could usually tell when something was true or not.

“Joseph,” he said finally. He gave a firm nod. “With the coat of many colors. Joseph was psychic.”

Ashlyn looked up suddenly, meeting Sol’s eyes. “Oh, yeah,” she breathed. “Joseph…”

“God used Joseph for His purpose. That was God-given Sight. There was nothing satanic about that.”

“Oh, yeah…”

“But that’s different from your typical psychic, the ones who try weird stuff like summoning demons and talking to the dead and black magic.”

“Yes…”

“So, no. No, the Bible doesn’t condemn the ability to see the future. Like all power, what matters is where it came from, and how you use it.”

Ashlyn stared at Sol, her eyes wide and clear. Sobs of relief made her body shake. “I think you’re right,” she said through her sudden tears. “So…so, I’m not…a bad person? I’m not un…unchristian or unclean or satanic or damned to Hell?”

Each personal accusation she spoke seemed like a separate blow to Sol.

“No!” he cried, putting his hand on her curled knee. “Ash, no. I mean,” he gave a modest shrug, “I’m not God, I’m not even a pastor, I’m not trained in…Biblical analysis, but based on what I can see in the Bible, and in you, you aren’t anti-Christ.”

Ashlyn covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath. When she lowered her hands, she was the normal Ashlyn: calm, confident, and in control.

“I guess the question now is, what do I do?”

“You might want to put on some clean sweatpants,” said Amy as she walked through the room. “What’s that brown stuff all over your leg?”

Ashlyn wrinkled her nose at her older sister’s back. “It’s hot chocolate, thank you,” she said, sticking out her tongue.

Sol laughed until Ashlyn turned to him with one eyebrow raised. He cleared his throat and tried to put on a serious face. “What do you do? Honestly?”

Ashlyn nodded impatiently. Sol leaned in to her.

“I don’t know.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like I said, questions, comments, criticism...let me know :) Thanks.

6 comments:

***Emily*** said...

I am loving your story so far! I didn't really see any major criticing points during the first read through. I'll read it again and look closer this time.
Oh I found just one little flaw. You forgot to put a 'the' when Sol said“you aren’t(the)anti-Christ.”

Any way I really like it and can't wait to read more!
In Christ,
Emily

Tragedy101 said...

What Emily said. I'm not even sure that's a flaw. In Scripture anti-Christ is someone or some belief standing in direct opposition to Christ and His church. It is used without the definite article, often.

1 John 4.3: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of anti-Christ, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

Heh? Forgot what I was going to ask.

Kendrabelle Logan said...

Emily: Thank you! And about the typo, what Tragedy101 said :)

Thanks again!! I'll be posting more soon.

Tragedy101: Yep, you're right :) And if you remember your question, I want to hear it! :D

~Kendra

Gabrielle said...

I will FOREVER be jealous of your writing skills. :)

Hopefully i can get to a state were I can right like you.
So--what I'm saying is it's really good! ;)

Tunafish said...

That's a really good story =) I really like it =) allot =P Jesus loves you! =)

achieve1dream said...

Somehow I missed this post when you made it. I like this one just as much as I like Sol's. You're so good at writing internal conflict and bringing the reader into the story. Keep up the great work!