Friday, August 28, 2009

Question Day and NERVOUSNESS!!

Question Day!!

The wonderful Rochelle Blue asked:

"When did you decide you wanted to become a writer?"

This might be a more in-depth question than I thought when I first read it. I thought, "Oh, that's easy. I decided when...um...well...when DID I decide I wanted to be a writer??"

I recently looked back at the “books” I made when I was a little kid. I would draw pictures and then tell my mom what to write under each picture. I thought that I wanted to be an artist because I loved to draw the pictures so much, but now I see that really I wanted to be a writer all along! I just thought I was being an artist, when I was really being an author even then.

Being a writer is the only goal for my future that has never shifted once. My other dreams for the future have all changed or been dropped, but I have wanted to write stories for other people to enjoy ever since I can remember. Because of all the events and passions pointing to my becoming a writer, I do believe it is the one goal that I am certain about. I firmly believe that God’s purpose for me has at least something to do with my being a writer. While all my other career goals and dreams may shift and change, I think being a writer is something that will always be close to my heart.

So, long answer short, I honestly think I was born wanting to be a writer. Something about the way my mind and personality works is just perfectly suited to do that.

Thanks so much, Rochelle! If anyone else has a question for Question Day, feel free to tell me! Please... ;)

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*internally quivers nervously with teeth clenched* That's how I look when I'm really nervous: jaw tight, chill bumps, flat expression, noticable swallowing.

My audition is tonight. I've changed song AGAIN.

Turns out the original "Teardrops on my Guitar" is different from the karaoke version I bought. The karaoke version sounds nothing the same, and the stupid CD doesn't have any tracks with the lyrics on them so I can learn. So, my dad and I spend half the morning hunting down and downloading the sheet music to one of my favorite songs we sing at church: "My Savior, My God". I can sing that really well.

So, now I have a song and sheet music and I know the song and I can sing it.

All very good things that came from a long series of bad things. Isn't God funny like that? Just when you're ready to scream at him to stop messing up everything you try to do, he's like "ta da!" and everything is all fixed. *sigh* You'd think I'd have learned to trust him more by now, but I haven't. Still working on it.

I'm definitely nervous, though. VERY nervous. My dad told me that when I audition, I need to put all my inhibitions aside and be my crazy, wide-open self. He told me that I tend to act small when in front of people, but I didn't used to be that way. He told me that I should forget about nervous and go back to how I was when I was little. Easier said than done. I'm going to try, though.

School is going so weirdly. With birthday shopping on Wednesday and birthday celebrations on Thursday, I just didn't get a whole lot done. I've mostly caught up today, though, so I'm back on track. It's been a very stressful day, though. It's so hard to concentrate on how WAAAAAAAAAAYYYY much school I have when I'm freaking out inside about the audition. When I'm nervous, sometimes I get really short of breath 'cause my heart is beating so fast, and that, of course, affects my singing...*sigh*

If you wouldn't mind, will you guys keep me in your thoughts and prayers tonight? The audition is at seven. I know this really isn't a big deal, but it does mean a lot to me.

Thanks for listening, y'all. It's good to have somewhere to vent.


P.S. GracieTheFirst and Cavender are the only ones who responded to Fact or Fiction. Here's the answer:

Fact/Fiction: In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.

Answer: Yes and No. Not to shave himself, but to own a barber shop and shave others, yes, he does ;)

You both won in a way. Sorry for irritating Everyone-Wins??-That-Is-So-Lame thing, haha! In the future I promise there will be only one right answer. In the meantime, Gracie and Cavender both get this award:

Congratulations! :)

P.P.S. I recently got some new awards (see the right side bar thing right below the About Me) from Bethany! Thanks!

4 comments:

GracieTheFirst said...

Ohmmgee.
I got an award.
LOL!
Totally sweet ^_^


Let me know how the audition goes. Too bad Teardrops on my Guitar thing messed up, thats a pretty song. I bet it would suit your voice. :)

Bethany said...

Oooh! I bet [with time difference, as I assume you're not on the West Coast] you're auditioning right now! I'm saying a prayer for you!
I hope you do well.
love
bethie

Rochelle Blue said...

impressive answer.
even though most people would also put "oh I decided to become a writer ever since I was born", you put it into such detail and made a simple answer very interesting. I do hope you will become a great author one day =)

good luck with your audition! I hope you do great!

*hugs*
rochelle

Kendra Logan said...

Gracie: Yep, congrats!

Thanks! Yeah, it did pretty well.

Bethany: You're right! I checked my blog on my dad's iPod and saw your comment right before I went in to audition, haha! Perfect timing!

Thank you for praying! I know it made a difference

Rochelle: Thank you! I hope so, too :)

Thanks!!